I'll second this from my own experience.

I'm much more interested in being involved in a thread where my involvement isn't limited to just 'here is your daily something' - if I can use my involvement to tease someone, or talk them into doing other things, or whatever then great.

Again - although I only speak for myself - yes.
If it's just a dogpile, I see no need to join myself. Partly because it feels a bit like bullying, but mostly because I'm bringing nothing to the party - my handful of posts are just going to get swamped and be irrelevant.

I will second this. I know I often avoid contributing to such threads if the recipient isn't active - it feels a bit too much like bullying if they are not involved.

Hi Cass! These are really good guides!

While there are some stuff I disagree with (the catch 22 part and not having a "include a panic button in the rules" for example) I'll not focus on that and may ask about in a future comment.

I do not post as much as I used to here, but I do love the interaction these threads can give. Basically all the people I met here that I call friends and keep in constant contact with (including my master) I met because of what you call "Add to my" threads or something similar as well as about 80% of my posts. =p So I can say for sure I love those.

However this is something I would like to hear your thoughts on: from my experience with these threads 90% of posts come from about 10% of the people who post and keep posting... a lot. Or even a few zealot people who liked the thread or you and also posted a lot. That happened in about every thread of this kind I posted on, including mine. This usually is the case because of previous friends who keep posting or are the people you actually become friends with and that may be the first interactions you have. Sometimes that is enough to find other people who just click with you.

And while that is not a problem, it is the main reason some of these threads explode into completely unreasonable numbers: people who keep posting as much as they can up to frightening amounts.

Now here are my questions:

Do you think is there any way to make it that does not happen without limiting how much people can post or making really complex rules?

How to say "slow down" without closing the thread, and being taken seriously without changing rules, scaring people away or spoiling their fun?

Do you think that after a thread gets running, the fact that the same few people keep posting and are the majority page after page may discourage new people to post?

Do you think your reward system of increasing privileges given how much you have already posted may discourage new people to join? Even those who are friends but by bad luck or time way from gD discovered the thread "too late"?

This last one actually happened with me several times, for me it is discouraging and even a little frightening to post in threads where the active people are already playing and joking within themselves, posting lines and lines of tasks and you start from the beginning. You feel like a stranger, maybe even unwelcome.

Disclosure: I did enjoy your guides and think they are great, and I do not want final answers to those, just to hear your or maybe others thoughts. I am just using your blog post to promote discussion. Sorry if this is a bad place to do it.

I completely get the appeal, a lot of things you mentioned are reasons why I like to indulge my little side.

I do as Grand.Master691 said. Most of the time I am big and have to attend to grown up things, but once a week, I get to indulge my little side and get to be taken care of turn off my "big" brain. It is a great break from adulting and it really helps me de-stress.

Maybe you could make a weekly/monthly schedule when you could get into little mindset, act and do all the nice stuff littles do, and on other days you could be big you, with all pros and cons of being adult. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

Can I play forethought to

Thank you a lot for this post.
It helps me a lot to understand you better.
I'm glad though you like the interaction, someone I.

Thank you a lot for gifting me your time.

The last time i asked someone to stop doing that (because it was the third time i had his copy-pasted message in my inbox), they just responded with insults. If i remember right, they actually got banned for a few days for that, but not a day after, i had the same spam-message in my inbox again. Some people refuse to learn.

Oh yes I so hate these!

I got a message not too long ago that said exactly the following:

He did put extra effort in to also put "hello" in the title of the message. Isn't that nice?

My typical response is also "no thank you". It frustrates me to get random messages that are demanding something without even a Hi.

At least start a conversation first before asking me for something. I love to meet new people and talk. I am a social butterfly, but if they take no effort to get to know me, then I am not giving them any effort in return.

Glad that they are okay with it, even though they don't want to discuss it. Guess they won't ever be upset about you not sharing now, though. lol

I agree with your post about the thoughts and feelings before during and after a task. The only way to grow in any relationship is communication. Yes you can complete tasks and move on, but what fun is that? For random people that just want the one time interaction, they don't really care. But if you want to play more than once, you should probably learn what your partner is thinking and feeling as to make the experience good for both players. Also, with someone that you are committed to and play with often, it is important to know there feelings when you are not playing also. So if you know they are sad or upset about something happening in life, it will affect your interaction differently then if they are happy and excited. Thank you for your post

I love the blog posts that are coming out of getDare especially now. I wish so many more people took the time to ready them and understand them. What you say about communication is something I try to put into the mind of every denial raffle winner. It is something I try to encourage in those I play with. It is the foundation that I work off of.

Thank you for saying it so well.

I agree,
The thinking and feeling is sure very important. To me it’s the most important. Some people can endure more than others. To me it’s hotter to have a sub crying after (for example) 100 spanks, than having a sub enduring 200 easily.

It indeed goes both ways. Subs should KNOW their dom understands their feelings and is gratefully receiving their suffering for them.

When I started on getdare I was not aware of that and I just handed out tasks and was happy to receive a report. Quickly I learned the most important feedback was “around” what happened, not the simple fact.

Hopefully they were accepting of your kinks, Cassandra. Even if they don't understand how you can enjoy them. I've been fortunate in that most of the friends I have told about (some of) my kinks are actually quite accepting about it. And I'm with you in that it isn't necessarily the *ACT* itself that is enjoyable, but rather the fact that the other party is enjoying my suffering (physical, mental, emotional, what have you) and submitting. Hence why I don't just go around doing these things any old time. Doing them just to do them... Bah. lol

I also 100% agree with you on the reporting side. From both sides. One of the big reasons I stopped the dares thread. Someone would give me a dare. I'd ask them if they want a report and 99% of the time, it was a no. >.<

I hope that you continue to have a long, enjoyable experience on here. And meet other people who like to both give and receive reports of the experiences. :-)

The thread dances may be evil and terrifying, but also very tempting. And it seems I might have one of those coming my way.

I'm glad it ended quickly and you didn't end up investing too much. Maybe some filter tasks are actually a good idea to stay safe good to know.

Better to find out now rather than having put all the effort in. It's quite easy to bite off more than you can handle as a sub (in terms of the tasks but also time/complexity) so far better to take little steps to find your limits than big steps that are far more demanding of doms.

(Anyone who willingly opens themselves up to one of your evil thread "dances" is braver than me though )

This is very personal, but I'm going to write it anyways, because not too long ago, I found myself in the same place.
I was shut like a clam, and all my problems, grief and insecurities were put away where no one could see them.

I was so used to sorting everything out on my own, that I was unable to show weakness or pain, afraid that someone might see through that shell I had so carefully created. Afraid that i would get hurt.

It was actually through the D/s dynamic that I've been able to open up a little. If only to my owner. It wasn't easy and I have cried a lot during the process. It took an effort to be honest and open about what I was really feeling. And it was very scary.

But It's also very much worth it. I have been opening up more and more in real life as well. And I found myself surprised by the reactions of others. For instance: they'd never even known about certain things I told them, but now they are out in the open, they can help me out and even give me comfort.

If you can find someone that you trust, it's worth it. You don't have to throw everything out there all at once. Start with small steps, and see how they help you.