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Welcome to getDare 2020

Posted 02-07-2020 at 08:52 AM by Cassandra
Updated 03-23-2020 at 02:16 AM by Cassandra

Hello lovely new user,

Yes, you, fellow human being!
We highly appreciate you here.
Hopefully you stay with us for longer.
I wish you the best and that you find what you are looking for.
Here are my personal tipps to improve your experience on getDare.

getDare is a community around truth or dare, possibly dipping heavily into BDSM - bondage dominance sadism masochism. It always is based on consent and consent, messaging someone included. So everything goes but only if you want to, and only with the people who want to, too, with you. If you just want to look around and have some nice talks about the weather, that's totally alright. It's a good start which can but doesn't have to go anywhere.

Since getDare is a forum / board, you need to read and write, a lot actually. If you have trouble with this, better improve these skills rather soon. You can easily train reading by ... reading. You don't need perfect spelling and grammar, especially if you are a non-native speaker. But if people have a hard time reading and understanding you, or you with them, that will heavily trouble your experience here.

Also, getDare is no Twitter, reddit, Instagram, YouTube, SnapChat or Tik Tok. It's not only about reading and writing, you also don't get immediate feedback. Though you'll sometimes get an answer within seconds, especially in the TorD chat, don't count on it. At least for some posts and questions you are going to have to wait hours and days. That's why consistently coming back the next day is so important. Taking care to have fun is vital for that.

You need some patience and persistence. Don't worry if you lack these. Just stick around with us and you'll learn.

In Tango, the first, most important dancer is YOU! If you cannot stand and walk, if you are troubled with yourself, you cannot listen, so you cannot dance. In Tango, you are not going to be dragged over the floor nor can you rely to lean on your partner. Your partner is going to watch out for you, since your partner is the second dancer, but only after themselves. Everybody trusts that first of all everybody takes good care of themselves. If you can't or have trouble with it, call out for help.

First and always care for yourself! Can you breath well? Are all your limbs and body-parts supplied by blood? Do you drink enough or are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Did you get enough sleep or are you tired? Did you clean yourself and wear proper clothes?
Did you cultivate your social contacts? Did you talk to a friend or partner in the past days? Were you able to share your thoughts and feelings with anyone face to face?
Are you able to concentrate and stick to your thoughts or are they wildy wandering around, jumping from one topic to another without you being able to stop them? Are you able to stop talking or writing? Have you left your house or appartment in the past days? Do you have a happy moment every day? Do you feel empty? Have you thoughts to end your life? Does your mood swing between heaven and hell?
Do you feel stable?

Feeling bad or having a depression is no reason to not use getDare, quite the contrary, but this community can't be your first source of help for serious problems. Get help in your local, real world environment for physical, mental, emotional, or psychological problems. You can share those with us but cannot treat you.

You can ask for opinions, recommendations, and advice, especially regarding getDare, BDSM and more kinky stuff.

If you might find these questions hilarious, remember there always are some people who are currently broken one way or the other. They might appear crazy or you might see them at all. But, having a bad day, week, month, or being broken, can happen to you, too. More likely, you might encounter someone in such a state, throwing insults or dirt at you, bombarding you with messages and long texts, just for example. Logorrhea is one of many symptons that someone isn't well.
That is no excuse for bad behavior, just an explanation that and why it might happen. For me, it's one more reason to ask you to watch out for yourself.

Don't feel guilty if you become the victim of an offense, like an (unconsensual) insult, verbal or physical violence, bullying, name calling, bad words about you or worse. You never deserve these. No one does.
I am telling you because the internet often comes with these occasions, for some of us way more than for others, and getDare is no exception from that. Don't feed the trolls.

Don't let yourself or anyone else be bullied. Stop the bully. Call us in for help if you like. If anyone breaks the getDare rules, call the admins or moderators. If anyone commits a crime, call the authorities.

I'd like you to stay and feel safe. Be aware that you can always ask an admin or moderator if you have a problem (though it's better to first read and consult the question section and getDare Rules). And very easily, you can block people or even report them for their infrictions.

Don't be scared but take precaution. Think twice what you share where and with whom, especially nude pics with your face.

You also choose whom to reply to, and with whom you continue to interact. You are under no obligation to reply to every message, post, or question. The same goes with dares you get without request. You don't need to win every argument or have the last word/message/post in a conversation.

That said, please don't be a bully. Don't message random people. Don't continue to message someone without any reply. Don't insult or threaten people. Obey the rules.
Also, don't befriend people who didn't even have the chance to notice you from anywhere. Make sure people got to know you a bit before you try to make friends.

Dare to be yourself. Your kink is different but your kink is okay. You are alright with any sexual preferences and fantasies. Acting them out requires the consent of all your partners and obeying the laws of your local society though. Regarding BDSM and fetishes, you are at a very safe spot to talk about them and find fellow peers. You wouldn't believe some fetishes you haven't heard of yet, until you dare to ask. Rule 34.

You may be shy and just lurk around. That's totally alright. But for whenever you want to be noticed, here is some good advice for getting noticed.

On the other side, you might be quite horny and eager to interact with others. In that case: Hold your horses!
You don't want to be like this horny, grouchy, grumpy elephant everyone seeks to dodge and give you a wide berth. You got no chance partnering up for good when you are that horny. Cool down or jerk off. Come back sober.

If you are new to dares and BDSM but eager to try something out now, how about this little roulette?

Maybe you are not that horny, still, watch out for yourself. If you bit off more than you can chew, follow this survival guide.

Besides all that, we would highly appreciate if you took some time to settle in. Get an avatar for your own good.

If you want to join the party of daring and being dared, you surely want to share your Likes and Limits. No worries, they don't have to be anywhere near complete, and you can still change them later anytime.

Click "Blogs" in the menu, and then "Post to your blog" on the left. Create one blog entry with your Likes/Dislikes/Limits. This makes it easy for others to acknowledge which kinks you share with them. A blog entry gives you plenty of space for it. If you need inspiration look into other people's blogs. Many users provide a link to their Likes/Dislikes/Limits in their signature. Or use the awesome Jaro's Ultimate Likes and Limits Questionnaire for Subs. It has never been easier.
As long as you don't want to be dared, you might want to add the links to your Likes/Dislikes/Limits and your PM Dares to your signature.

If you want to increase your chances to be dared early and often, you might want to have a look at PM dares.

If you are seriously looking for a longterm partner, master, mistress, owner, sub, slave, pet, or whatever you are looking for, you might need to start and continue to have meaningful interaction showing good manners.

I hope to see you and possibly interact with you here on getDare.

Kind regards

Longterm getDarian

Cass
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    SilvertongueLyra's Avatar
    All the links are amazing! Thank you so very much for this. Truly grateful
    Posted 02-07-2020 at 09:44 AM by SilvertongueLyra SilvertongueLyra is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    If it isn't Dr. Cass from the welcoming comittee. I think you provide great help to people with these kinds of blogs.
    And thank you for including my questionnaire!
    Posted 02-07-2020 at 10:39 AM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Cassandra's Avatar
    Many many thanks.

    I suppose I might need to update that questionaire link somewhere in the future.
    Posted 02-07-2020 at 10:41 AM by Cassandra Cassandra is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Cassandra View Comment
    Many many thanks.

    I suppose I might need to update that questionaire link somewhere in the future.
    Yup. We're still working on it though and it will still be a while...
    Posted 02-07-2020 at 12:10 PM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Sexyplant's Avatar
    These links are amazingly helpful, and the article is even better. Thank you a lot for posting this!
    Posted 03-27-2020 at 11:41 AM by Sexyplant Sexyplant is offline
 

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