Beautifully written What you've said about trust and consistency certainly strikes a chord with me.

Wow! This was really good, and so well written - thank you for writing it! I wouldn't put the label of broken woman on myself, but I definitely have some trust issues and I could relate to so much of this.

Sooooo spot on! <3

Ah shite. I tried my best to follow your steps, but step two was too difficult and I accidentally spoke to her like a human being. Rookie error.

Sometimes I try to imagine what it must be like to be female on one of these sites, then I realise that I really don't want tot be. I don't think that lonely guys understand that they have it way, way easier on these site than the females who get inundated with messages, questioned, harassed and abused.

Also, if you could do a version of this for bi males, I'd be grateful. I think I'm too gay to follow these steps properly.

omg Techie you betrayed me posting some of this messages I sent you! *hangs head in shame* Now that I know you read them why are you still ignoring me? Just teasing I know girls get a lot of unwanted attention from guys that copy and paste the same message to any girl online hoping to get a bite. The best part about that is it gives girls plenty of material to blog about and troll them! I love a good blog about trolls. Btw when will you reply back to me Techie! It wasn't 10 minutes between between asking I am upping my game to 3 minutes!!!! Just kidding I have never sent you a message since you always state you are looking for mainly girls to play with and I am a guy :P Don't like to try and change someones mind that I can do it better then the girls when they favor the girls more.

And here I was just grabbing women off the street, when this has so much less risk! Didn't know I needed this how-to until now! So helpful, 5 1/2 of 5 stars

My thoughts:

Oh a dice dare, not really my thing, supermegafoxyawesomehot, yes, yes she is, why does that sound kind of familiar? Oo the vibe sounds like it was a lot of fun, and yes, spankings there are yummy, hmm, very good report, I have to remember to tell her that, later though, shoot, look at the time, I need to get to the library, just log off, go start putting my makeup on, and OH MY GOSH THAT WAS A VERY POTTER MUSICAL REFERENCE!

So now I'm singing "back to witches and wizards..." so thank you for that

I want to give you huge hugs and snuggles right now. If you need anything, you know where to find me!

BEST CHAINSAW EVER!

I am going with Dylan Beekler from golan the insatiable

I like to carry this around.



I feel like it leaves an impression.

Ohhhhhh. This is a really good blog! I mean, it is to the point and said something I have never been able to cohesively think about. Thank you!

That took a turn I was not expecting. It made me laugh

#nicetomeatyou BAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't know why, but I thought this was hilarious!

Toys and equipment are fun...but BDSM is best when there is a meeting of the minds, I think. I'd much rather have a connection and play with someone who can get inside my head and do wonderfully naughty things to me there than have all the toys in the world.

I'll be happy with a Dom ( If I ever decide to look) who is just caring

Good for you for coming out to your family even though you weren't sure what the reaction would be. I know if I were to come out to my family, most of them wouldn't care, but I can't imagine the pressure and anxiety you felt. But congratulations for doing it and for being you!

I believe safewords are incredibly important and I feel like they are a great tool. One of the first things I did as a Domme was make sure that my my sub was comfortable using his safeword. We would push his limits purposefully and in a controlled environment so he could see that it was ok to use it.

I believe in pushing my limits with Asslvr now that we are more comfortable together and I know that as we enter unchartered territory we might hit roadbumps along the way and I might have reactions that are unexpected or he might feel uncomfortable and so it is important that we both feel comfortable with our safewords so that we can keep me safe.

We have two safewords: Pause and Butterfly. I use pause to pause the scene if things are overwhelming or scary, but I am not ready to stop. Play stops or slows down and we can talk about it and make sure everything is ok and change things if we need to. Butterfly means stop now! Even if I use butterfly it doesn't mean that play has to be over, but it means something is seriously wrong and I need cuddles.

Thank you so much for writing this blog. I feel like there are so many negative stigmas and views attached to safewords, and it is nice to see the positive uses highlighted.

I have never had a really bratty sub, I have always looked at them as a challenge. A fun type challenge of course. I enjoy the banter back and forth! Of course the downside is sometimes it takes you further then you had originally planned. I have seen IceMaiden talk herself into extra punishment because she was being a little bratty. It makes me snicker because at the end of the day I see it as playful fun. Its who she is, if she was yes sir no sir all the time she would be a totally different person.

Even though it wasnt me that did it too you I cant resist giving you a big hug! *hugs* it sucks to have to go through something like that. I am lucky I have never had a girl cry unexpectedly with me. I did have one that I helped cry now and then as it sort of released all her stress and sort of broke the walls of everything she was holding back and was able to express it clearly. Sounds like this was an instance that needed to be instantly safeworded by you or the dom or even both if he could see your reaction.

I cant speak for everyone but personally im super hard on myself if I make a girl cry because shes sad. I hate it, especially because theres not a thing I can do usually to help her aside from be there and tell her its all going to be okay. Those are just words and they are only half as good as actually being able to hold her tight and say those words.

I would add: Be super careful with excessive amounts of ice up your ass! The rectal area is very well supplied with blood, which means that you can cool your body down with the ice cubes very quickly, and this can be harmful. It is for the very same reason (but sort of the other way around) that warm enema can be used as a treatment of hypothermia.