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My personal issues with blackmail

Posted 07-12-2021 at 03:59 PM by CSasha

Disclaimer: This is not intended as a judgement of others but a mere reflection on myself.

I never tried consensual blackmail as the blackmailed. I am just the too cautious type for that. I think probably for a good reason. The world has gotten quite global and big. The internet is full of people and with that comes a significant portion of temporarily or consistently malicious people. You never know. If I'd gave away real material to blackmail me with -naked pics with face, contacts, access to important account, it could be used and I could nothing do against it, ruining my social life, my career, having a heavy permanent impact.

My life is more than just kink and sex, even if that may be some of my fantasies.

That said, I did try consensual blackmail several times as the blackmailer. But I think I am over it, at least over what's out there to get in the vast majority I see.

I played with people giving no significant material at all. Fine with me as long as they play their part. I cannot force anyone to do anything without a leverage. So if they don't role-play along and do what I request (within limits we have exchanged before), then that's it. All the effort for nothing.

I don't engage with tasks, dares, or rules unless I got enough information to reasonable know what of the things I want them to do fits them. Period. Everything else is wild-guessing and waste of both our time. Everyone has limits and should have.

There might be those rare people who run rampage and offer life-ruining material. In fantasy, awesome, but for real, I am against it. It just takes the one blackmailer who doesn't give a shit about destroying a human life and just does so no matter what.

I have tried with asking for something significant, yet not life-destroying. Some precious achievement you don't want ruined or information you seriously don't want to get out, not even secretly. But without destroying your whole life or significant parts of it like family relations, friendships, or partnerships.

Maybe it's doable but so far I haven't succeeded yet. It doesn't have to be something for longer but I am expecting a certain kind of thrill for both of us.

All too often, I still see thoughtless, effortless posts spamming threads, comments, and other meaningful channels with "blackmail me". I see people wanting anybody to "force" them to go through with what they actually like and love doing.

On the other hand, I have met some wonderful people via talking and trying some kind of blackmailing, in the end doing something besides that kind of play, but having a playful, lovely relationship and kinky experience for several times.

Just my shared experience and thoughts
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  1. Old Comment
    ScarletMaid's Avatar
    My only experience with blackmailing was a sour one.

    person offered a photo of his wife and her contact. telling me it would devastate her if he was sharing it.

    it was.... Sour. couldnt get into it. the way they abused the trust of their partner for a wank was disgusting.

    you know i wanted some kinky fun. not a depressing rollecoaster into someone else Sex life.
    Posted 07-12-2021 at 07:42 PM by ScarletMaid ScarletMaid is offline
  2. Old Comment
    subDanni's Avatar
    I agree with the points you make. It feels like most subs have a very specific idea of how they want the scenario to play out. Yet, I think the sub more often should consider what the dominant might want. Not talking about stepping on someone's limits, but when you ask someone to take control over you with blackmail, you shouldn't be opposed to doing things you might not love. Or to go in a different direction than the scenario or fantasy you had in your head
    Posted 07-13-2021 at 03:22 AM by subDanni subDanni is offline

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