The Difference Between Brattiness and Disobedience.
This was a topic AM gave me to research/write about (one of four, but I favoured this one enough to write it first.)
On the surface, a brat can be labelled as disrespectful and naughty, with many people often claiming or assuming the brat is a bad submissive or slave. They only see the outside of the brattiness. The sarcastic or 'disrespectful' comments or actions.
They don't see what lies beneath those comments and actions- that it's all done with humor intended and to make their dom laugh and smile. They don't see the closeness or private relationship between the brat and their owner.
They don't see and/or realize that a brat knows full well when it is and when it isn't appropiate to be bratty and that they would never dream of engaging in bratty behaviour when they know it isn't acceptable in that particular moment.
If someone is bratty in a moment where it is clear it isn't appropiate, then that is not a brat. That is a disobedient submissive/slave.
A brat will know when enough really is enough. Whether that be from a certain phrase or word uttered by their owner, or a specific look directed their way. When those factors come into a play, a brat will stop. A disobedient submissive or slave will not.
A brat will find loopholes as often as they can in given orders. (Guilty!)
This isn't about not obeying, but more for the fun and humor in it. It's fun to watch AM roll his eyes and huff when I point out the loopholes I have found. He knows that isn't an intended disrespect, but done in jest and for fun. Brats tend to be very intelligent and like to make sure their owner can match them in ingenuity.
Some of mine so far have included:
~You told me to go bed NOT to go to sleep.
~You didn't say I couldn't add hot water AFTER the ten minutes of the cold bath were over.
~You didn't say WHERE to attach the pegs.
~You didn't specify if you meant AM or PM.
~You didn't say how many.
~You didn't specify that instrument.
I can't remember others off the top of my head, as AM banned them a while ago. Which is rude and he should give them back, that's like denying my intelligence the ability to roam free!
A disobedient submissive or slave will also find loopholes, but they will find them just to be difficult, exasperate their owner and/or just so they don't do what they have been told to do.
I often tell AM that when we meet in person I am going to spank him on the ass. Just once. Just because I want to and can. (And also because I know that I wont get the chance to continue but shhh let's not tell him that part.) That isn't disrespect. It isn't intended to make him angry with me. It's playful and intended to make him laugh whilst also baiting him to beat me back down into a submissive mind set. Some brats enjoy being put in their place instead of immediately submitting. A brat will goad and push but ultimately surrender. A disobedient submissive or slave would not do this or similar for the same reasons, but to annoy their owner, to be disrespectful and to cause hurt and anger.
A brat will be sarcastic and have a quick tongue, using it to deliver lines that make their owner's eyes roll while they wonder what they did to deserve this. It isn't disobedience, it is a part of their personality, who they are and a form of playfulness. They generally tend to be this way with only their owner and people they know quite well/are close to. When told that that is enough, a brat will back down. A disobedient submissive or slave will say things with the intent to hurt or annoy to everybody. And it doesn't matter how many times they are told they are causing problems, they will continue to do so.
A brat will drive their owner insane and cause thousands of eye rolls, head shakes and cause their owner to want to string them up and beat them black and blue. But they will do so in fun and to cause their owner amusement and happiness and will always submit and always obey....even if it takes a while to get to that point. A disobedient submissive or slave will push and push until the owner has no choice but to punish severely in the hope of correction.
For me, being a brat is fun. Being disobedient is not. I may insult AM, call him names, whine, pout, complain, tease him, drive him insane in any way I can think of and laugh the entire time I am doing so...but I will always obey. I will always follow his directions and commands because I always want to please him and make him happy.
On the surface, a brat can be labelled as disrespectful and naughty, with many people often claiming or assuming the brat is a bad submissive or slave. They only see the outside of the brattiness. The sarcastic or 'disrespectful' comments or actions.
They don't see what lies beneath those comments and actions- that it's all done with humor intended and to make their dom laugh and smile. They don't see the closeness or private relationship between the brat and their owner.
They don't see and/or realize that a brat knows full well when it is and when it isn't appropiate to be bratty and that they would never dream of engaging in bratty behaviour when they know it isn't acceptable in that particular moment.
If someone is bratty in a moment where it is clear it isn't appropiate, then that is not a brat. That is a disobedient submissive/slave.
A brat will know when enough really is enough. Whether that be from a certain phrase or word uttered by their owner, or a specific look directed their way. When those factors come into a play, a brat will stop. A disobedient submissive or slave will not.
A brat will find loopholes as often as they can in given orders. (Guilty!)
This isn't about not obeying, but more for the fun and humor in it. It's fun to watch AM roll his eyes and huff when I point out the loopholes I have found. He knows that isn't an intended disrespect, but done in jest and for fun. Brats tend to be very intelligent and like to make sure their owner can match them in ingenuity.
Some of mine so far have included:
~You told me to go bed NOT to go to sleep.
~You didn't say I couldn't add hot water AFTER the ten minutes of the cold bath were over.
~You didn't say WHERE to attach the pegs.
~You didn't specify if you meant AM or PM.
~You didn't say how many.
~You didn't specify that instrument.
I can't remember others off the top of my head, as AM banned them a while ago. Which is rude and he should give them back, that's like denying my intelligence the ability to roam free!
A disobedient submissive or slave will also find loopholes, but they will find them just to be difficult, exasperate their owner and/or just so they don't do what they have been told to do.
I often tell AM that when we meet in person I am going to spank him on the ass. Just once. Just because I want to and can. (And also because I know that I wont get the chance to continue but shhh let's not tell him that part.) That isn't disrespect. It isn't intended to make him angry with me. It's playful and intended to make him laugh whilst also baiting him to beat me back down into a submissive mind set. Some brats enjoy being put in their place instead of immediately submitting. A brat will goad and push but ultimately surrender. A disobedient submissive or slave would not do this or similar for the same reasons, but to annoy their owner, to be disrespectful and to cause hurt and anger.
A brat will be sarcastic and have a quick tongue, using it to deliver lines that make their owner's eyes roll while they wonder what they did to deserve this. It isn't disobedience, it is a part of their personality, who they are and a form of playfulness. They generally tend to be this way with only their owner and people they know quite well/are close to. When told that that is enough, a brat will back down. A disobedient submissive or slave will say things with the intent to hurt or annoy to everybody. And it doesn't matter how many times they are told they are causing problems, they will continue to do so.
A brat will drive their owner insane and cause thousands of eye rolls, head shakes and cause their owner to want to string them up and beat them black and blue. But they will do so in fun and to cause their owner amusement and happiness and will always submit and always obey....even if it takes a while to get to that point. A disobedient submissive or slave will push and push until the owner has no choice but to punish severely in the hope of correction.
For me, being a brat is fun. Being disobedient is not. I may insult AM, call him names, whine, pout, complain, tease him, drive him insane in any way I can think of and laugh the entire time I am doing so...but I will always obey. I will always follow his directions and commands because I always want to please him and make him happy.
Total Comments 6
Comments
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Brilliant!!! bulls-eye!!
O yess... I lovee... brattiness (in the meaning as you describe). It creates a dynamic. My pet likes to test me, to see whether I am worth her submission. Well,... i better be!!!
One thing,...
In my opinion disobedience comes in 2 flavours:
- disobedience out of insecurity, tension...... "knowing to be wrong, but incapable of doing different"
- disobedience to the level of just being not trustworthy.
The first is probably a cry for attention. If it happens (very seldom), my pet expects and gets a strong punishment. She wants to be assured i want to control her.
The second is an act of distrust. In principle I would see that as indication that the relation is over. Punishment would not even be capable of repairing that. A sub would have to do something extremely special to be forgiven for such disobedience.Posted 10-08-2016 at 03:36 PM by sir stefan 
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My girl loves to make me happy. This includes making me laugh, making me think - and yes, making me work for her. Every Dominant should have to work to prove how much they love their submissive
The content though speaks for itself, princess. your blog is right, well written, well thought out, and well researched. It describes in detail the situation, there is nothing more to say on the subject. My little girl did very well and I am proud of you.
Posted 10-08-2016 at 03:46 PM by AbusiveMaster
Updated 10-08-2016 at 04:00 PM by IceMaiden -
This is a great post and you separate the mentality behind disobedience and the mentality behind brattiness wonderfully.
I'd love to know your thoughts on brattiness in relation to Freud's theory of resistance therapy. i.e. Does being a brat (resisting authority in a playful way) help mentally/emotionally prepare you for the level of vulnerability you reach when submitting to AM?Posted 10-09-2016 at 04:06 AM by iSpuds
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Excellently written! I can really identify with what you write. I like to challenge my owner. Test boundaries, find loopholes. But I don't do it out of disrespect. I do it because it's nice to be won over, to feel that my Dom is a good match for me. If he's shown me who's the boss again, it makes me respect his domming skills even more
Posted 10-09-2016 at 11:39 AM by little pet
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It's a wonderful dynamic and allows the brat to be true to their nature which should never be squashed down. People forget that if a dom is in a relationship with a brat then that is obviously their preference too, or why would they be with them?Quote:Originally Posted by sir stefan
Brilliant!!! bulls-eye!!
O yess... I lovee... brattiness (in the meaning as you describe). It creates a dynamic. My pet likes to test me, to see whether I am worth her submission. Well,... i better be!!!
One thing,...
In my opinion disobedience comes in 2 flavours:
- disobedience out of insecurity, tension...... "knowing to be wrong, but incapable of doing different"
- disobedience to the level of just being not trustworthy.
The first is probably a cry for attention. If it happens (very seldom), my pet expects and gets a strong punishment. She wants to be assured i want to control her.
The second is an act of distrust. In principle I would see that as indication that the relation is over. Punishment would not even be capable of repairing that. A sub would have to do something extremely special to be forgiven for such disobedience.
Quote:- disobedience out of insecurity, tension...... "knowing to be wrong, but incapable of doing different"
I don't view that as quite disobedience, but more being uncertain what is expected of them and if there isn't the oppurtunity to clarify exactly what that is, then doing their best with the information they have. Miscommunication happens to us all and as long as they have tried their best, even if getting it wrong, I think they are still trying to be obedient.
Of course I am going to make you work for me. I am worth it and you should have to every day forever. You're doing a wonderful job so far, such a good boy. Keep it up. *giggles and then blushes at the second paragraph.Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
My girl loves to make me happy. This includes making me laugh, making me think - and yes, making me work for her. Every Dominant should have to work to prove how much they love their submissive
The content though speaks for itself, princess. your blog is right, well written, well thought out, and well researched. It describes in detail the situation, there is nothing more to say on the subject. My little girl did very well and I am proud of you.
I'd never even considered this until you mentioned it, so took some to consider my opinion and I think it does. AM is the person I have crossed limits and boundaries with and given 100% of myself instead of holding back a little with my submission. And at particular times when he asks for something I find difficult, I revert to sarcasm and bratty comments and actions, even as I am doing what he asked for. It makes it easier to submit to the things I find truly difficult if I have a ... facade? (I'm not sure if that's the right word given bratty is me entirely.) going at the same time. I don't think I could submit to those difficult things without commentaries or bratty tendancies helping me along. It makes it easier for me if I am laughing and amused than to just simply obey without complaint or resistance.Quote:Originally Posted by iSpuds
This is a great post and you separate the mentality behind disobedience and the mentality behind brattiness wonderfully.
I'd love to know your thoughts on brattiness in relation to Freud's theory of resistance therapy. i.e. Does being a brat (resisting authority in a playful way) help mentally/emotionally prepare you for the level of vulnerability you reach when submitting to AM?
Quote:Originally Posted by Sub.lucy
Excellently written! I can really identify with what you write. I like to challenge my owner. Test boundaries, find loopholes. But I don't do it out of disrespect. I do it because it's nice to be won over, to feel that my Dom is a good match for me. If he's shown me who's the boss again, it makes me respect his domming skills even more
Exactly! If someone can't handle all of you, then they don't deserve any of you. I need someone who not only can beat me down, but wants to beat me down. It has to be fun for both parties and I'd lose respect very quickly if it was clear they were incapable of doing it. But each time AM succeeds it makes me respect him just a little bit more.
Posted 10-10-2016 at 04:00 AM by IceMaiden
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Quote:Originally Posted by IceMaiden
or why would they be with them?
I ask myself every day. The answer, I must be fucking mad, but I love you.Quote:Originally Posted by IceMaiden
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Of course I am going to make you work for me. I am worth it and you should have to every day forever. You're doing a wonderful job so far, such a good boy. Keep it up. *giggles and then blushes at the second paragraph.
You are, i will, but dont push your luck.
Mony a mickle maks a muckle.Quote:Originally Posted by IceMaiden
Exactly! If someone can't handle all of you, then they don't deserve any of you. I need someone who not only can beat me down, but wants to beat me down. It has to be fun for both parties and I'd lose respect very quickly if it was clear they were incapable of doing it. But each time AM succeeds it makes me respect him just a little bit more.Posted 10-10-2016 at 04:05 AM by AbusiveMaster
