What it means to be a master...(debate) - Page 2

Leopard · 05-15-2010, 11:26 AM

Blackmail is an iffy subject, that's true. But I was putting that under consensual: if he knows the risks and is okay with them then so long as no one is being harmed, then that's his choice to make. I don't think it's a very clever choice, but it's up to him to decide.

(This is of course regarding consensual blackmail with the terms previously agreed upon by both parties, preferably the submissive initiating and deciding on it. Real blackmail is wrong!)

Of course, things can go wrong, which is why it's a rather grey area. But if you know the risks and have thought it through, no one is getting hurt and it's your own decision, I don't see why anyone has any right to say you're doing the wrong thing.

Once you have basic knowledge it's very easy to know when to see the general red flags (unforeseen things can still go wrong but that's true of any sort of relationship.) It seems to me that the biggest goal right now aside from these wonderfully educating threads is to make it easier for everyone to see those red flags - there are still far too many so-called doms running around ruining perfectly good new submissives and giving us all a bad name. Sadly these are the types who do not read these threads at all.

Nixie · 05-15-2010, 12:35 PM

W.O.W

umm...

W.O.W

Quote:

Another word that should go without saying but frankly: if someone cannot or does not make at least a reasonable effort to apply these four other words that Shadows mentioned then how much honor do you have? Be honorable by remaining true to yourself and the agreement(s) that you have with your sub. Inconsistency is not a really nice thing to deal with for a sub. It leads to confusion and can even be dangerous for the emotional state of those who serve you. No one is trustworthy, honest, respectful and responsible just because they say they are. Those are shown through consistent actions and words over time. So what it means to be honorable? Simple: Put your money where your mouth is!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Chole you amaze me...

What else is there to say. Ok I'm sure a lot.

To those who don't do their research!
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE STOP! JUST STOP THINK for one Moment here! Are you even thinking? No I didn't even think so! Who the hell are you kidding? Yourselfs mostly! I'm just on the verge of annoyance and no rational wording is going to comeout here. So STOP Read through Some of the threads that are going around that have.... OMG WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? INFO-FUCKING-MATION! Before you pull your ...............

I should stop....

This isn't going to end well

TensionRoom101 · 05-17-2010, 08:24 AM

There are too many Doms who like the idea of having a girly to do their bidding without question, despite the fact they don't have the slightest idea of the psychology of domination, ownership and respect.

I have been in the lifestyle for a lot of years, and have seen every kind of 'dumbinant' (nice word, will steal it) come through. Worse though, I've seen the trail of broken submissives they've left in their wake, and spend a lot of time repairing their damage.

In some cases it's malice. They're misogynists with a need to punish women- probably stifled by mummy or mocked by girls at school. In others, it's just sheer ignorance of the subtleties of our lifestyle. and assume because a submissive fantasises about something that makes it ok to just do it to them. What young girls are ready for when they're wanking alone in bed is seldom if ever what they're ready for in a D/s relationship.

For me, what it means to be a dominant is to help the submissive find their true selves, and support them in that quest- give them strength to do the things they might not feel they can do alone. My submissive is my equal, and I treat her as such. Yes, I guide her, steer her a safe course (that SHE navigates, not I), and lead her to the self validation, and of course acknowledgement from me, that she craves and needs. My submissive I put on a pedestal and worship her, because she has given up of herself the biggest part of herself and entrusted it to my care. If as a dominant you're not up to that care, then leave the submissive alone.

My experience of the submissives- especially female submissives- on the fetish and BDSM scene, is that a disproportionate amount of them are depressed or bi polar. A lot have been abused (either physically or mental/emotionally). A lot are seeking self harm by proxy. For very few is it solely about kink- for most it's been about looking to complete themselves. A dominant owes it to those that would give themselves to him/her to find out what brought your submissive to that space. Their wants and needs (both stated and unstated) and to complete your submissive as s/he seeks to complete you. As the adage goes, if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem.

Mike

SubMissChievous · 05-17-2010, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edd18

Of course this can happen short term by using blackmail or similar techinques, but this leads to a different realtionship, with more aggresive master which i prefer but I question if this is really a proper d/s relationship?

I'm not really sure what to make of this because if you refer to blackmail you can be talking about 2 completely different things here so I'll address both...

"Play Blackmail" as consensual is just another kink among others. Not really sure how much re-inforcement in a D/s you can get from it to be honest since it's just a form of play among many others. And as Anjelen and Leopard pointed out already I see it as an "iffy subject" as well. Surely partners who wish to do this type of play should negociate this just as seriously as with such things like "rape play" and the likes.

If you're talking about "real" blackmail then all I have to say is that personally I would lose any respect for any so-called "dominant" who would think of trying this with me. Red Flag indeed... If someone think he needs to use this or any form of non-consensual intimidation for that matter then it doesn't make them dominant in my eyes but more closer to a common schoolyard bully and shows a lack of self-confidence in a dominant that I personally find very unattractive.

Star Shadows · 05-17-2010, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The genious that is Chloe

If you're talking about "real" blackmail then all I have to say is that personally I would lose any respect for any so-called "dominant" who would think of trying this with me. Red Flag indeed... If someone think he needs to use this or any form of non-consensual intimidation for that matter then it doesn't make them dominant in my eyes but more closer to a common schoolyard bully and shows a lack of self-confidence in a dominant that I personally find very unattractive.

Agreed anything unconsensual in joke or otherwise should send BIG red flags popping up all around you (lots of them) as to the motives and capabilities of your dom, or someone you are considering to take on as your dom.

Dutch · 05-18-2010, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Star Shadows

Agreed anything unconsensual in joke or otherwise should send BIG red flags popping up all around you (lots of them) as to the motives and capabilities of your dom, or someone you are considering to take on as your dom.

True, true, true.

Loads of good things being said here, but considering the participating users I wouldn't expect anything else.

I have found myself in a dominant role by complete accident, and I have to say its very fulfilling. But the point im trying to make here is this. While being dominant I dont really think all that much of what I'm doing. Once the scene is going on, I try and feel what the sub is feeling which works pretty good, and take it from there. I think that makes the scenes much more connected, much more about making the sub feel good (and thereby me as dom as well).

What are your views on that?

AlmightyElemental · 05-18-2010, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutch

True, true, true.

Loads of good things being said here, but considering the participating users I wouldn't expect anything else.

I have found myself in a dominant role by complete accident, and I have to say its very fulfilling. But the point im trying to make here is this. While being dominant I dont really think all that much of what I'm doing. Once the scene is going on, I try and feel what the sub is feeling which works pretty good, and take it from there. I think that makes the scenes much more connected, much more about making the sub feel good (and thereby me as dom as well).

What are your views on that?

I understand where you're coming from. I find it best when I'm in the dom position to just roll with it and do what I feel instead of thinking too hard. Not to say that I don't think. You can't not think while you're being a dom. Otherwise, you'll be giving orders that conflict with their allergies or putting them in harm's way and then you'll not only have lost a dom but more than likely made an enemy as well.

Dutch · 05-18-2010, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlmightyElemental

I understand where you're coming from. I find it best when I'm in the dom position to just roll with it and do what I feel instead of thinking too hard. Not to say that I don't think. You can't not think while you're being a dom. Otherwise, you'll be giving orders that conflict with their allergies or putting them in harm's way and then you'll not only have lost a dom but more than likely made an enemy as well.

This is true - i suppose im relying much more on my feelings than on my logical thinking when domming. I'd like to point out that my feelings when domming have nothing to do with lust, or using power but much more with connecting to the sub's feelings.

Of course using common sense is paramount. I would never put anyone in harms way or go near allergies or limits, not just out of common sense, but also because that would make the sub highly uncomfortable, sick or even worse.

amir69 · 03-15-2011, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anjelen

'You are not allowed to cum for two weeks' is cute - if you've read too much fiction. Especially if you intend to play with your submissive in the mean time, i should point out that too many times edging over the course of days, weeks or god forbid even months can lead to neurosis. No, i'm not kidding you. Forced edging can lead to a goddamned mental disorder if it's kept up too long and done too often - and even if it doesn't it can lead to a point where the submissive can't get off easilly anymore, becomes unsure about getting off in the first place, and through frustrations loses the ability to get off, period.

Thanks Anjelen, Is it possible to discuss about this part more for male?
I want to start long term orgasm denial, but I'm worry to loss my orgasm forever!

LadyCeleste · 03-15-2011, 10:05 PM

A big thank you to Anjelen and Star with their posts here. So many times as I am reading through the applicants I get, I see so much harm that has been done to these submissives that I want to get in touch with the old doms and smack them as hard as I can. It's just astounds me that doms treat their submissives in such a manner.

I have always been a psychological domme for the simple fact that the psychological aspect is the most fascinating. It is more interesting once you are able to get inside your submissive's mind and help them reach that point where they are in subspace, take them by the hand and lead them into it.

It is always a HUGE red flag to me whenever I see or hear, "I've been forced..." whatever the task might be. A dom should never FORCE their sub to do anything. It is all about respect, honour, trust. If none of those factors exist in the relationship how can it possibly continue? How could it be healthy?

I'm honestly amazed sometimes at how the submissives who apply with me always say, "you're so different than the others" it breaks my heart every time because I cannot believe that I am THAT different that it needs to be said.

Most of the time, most doms, the new ones, do not understand what it means to be able to do psychological things. They are so task oriented that they end up hurting their submissives and the submissive never wants to play again, or if they do play again, with a different dom, they are afraid of what will happen.

Limits MUST be respected at all times. It doesn't matter what it is, those limits MUST 100% be respected and certainly, if it is a "soft limit" or something that the submissive is curious about, then yes, test it, but if they say "no" or give the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Don't continue that behaviour. It will only discourage the submissive from ever trying anything with you again.

So many times I hear about mistreatment, or these submissives are new and are trained to believe that all doms are bad, evil, hurting, what have you. It's truly maddening when I have to go back and repair the damage before I am able to play. I do it because I care about my submissives because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO.

That is one thing I find that many new doms forget. They get so wrapped up in the idea of having complete and utter control over the other individual that they forget that the other person is A PERSON. Not just a toy that they can throw to the side when they're done playing with them. Submissives have wants, needs, desires, ambitions.

As a dom it is your responsibility to take care of the submissive while they are in subspace and even outside of it. Most of the threads I see here with the "message me now bitch" just irk me. It is along the same line as those threads that say, "I have no limits". I see that and I immediately say bullshit. I see no point in those types of threads and it just saddens me because that only signifies that as Anjelen says, a "dumbinant." Anjelen, I love that word so much and I am grateful you came up with such a word.

One thing that always shocks me is when I tell my future submissives that I want them to have a life outside of me. I usually get a "life, wait, I'm allowed to have that?" It's just odd that most submissives don't find good doms out there. Usually the good doms are the ones who spend time training and molding their submissives rather than just toying with them and sending them away.

Before this becomes an even longer wall of text, I just want to thank Star, Anjelen, and Leo again for their points of view and I encourage everyone to look to them for what a submissive, as is in Star's case, and doms, as in Anjelen and Leo's case, should be.

Master Tom · 03-16-2011, 12:25 PM

Hello, I really must admit that you have found the right description for a master/slave relation. Thank you very much. May these words help to find good Masters and Slaves.
Thanks again.

Master Tom

Star Shadows · 03-16-2011, 01:18 PM

Thank you for such a lovely response and thank you master tom for your kind words also.. back to the lady Celeste...

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

A big thank you to Anjelen and Star with their posts here.

Not a problem... its something I have seen become an issue a lot over the time I have been here and I know it is of great importance to the others too. We just have to hope the information goes out to the people who need it the most.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

So many times as I am reading through the applicants I get, I see so much harm that has been done to these submissives that I want to get in touch with the old doms and smack them as hard as I can. It's just astounds me that doms treat their submissives in such a manner.

I have always been a psychological domme for the simple fact that the psychological aspect is the most fascinating. It is more interesting once you are able to get inside your submissive's mind and help them reach that point where they are in subspace, take them by the hand and lead them into it. [**]

It is always a HUGE red flag to me whenever I see or hear, "I've been forced..." whatever the task might be. A dom should never FORCE their sub to do anything. It is all about respect, honour, trust. If none of those factors exist in the relationship how can it possibly continue? How could it be healthy?

**The psychological aspect is so enthralling and interesting, so much better than do this do that yes sir/miss. Nice to see how things tick though.
As for the never forcing- I have to feel that you are right to a level. Forcing a submissive to do something is largely wrong, unless it is something that has been fully consented to be part of your play with your sub/slave before hand. trust and respect are important if a submissive trusts you they will submit as far as they can but there is a fine line between dominance paired with gentle persuasion and forcing someone to do something against their will. A relationship based on fear and bully tactics is not healthy in most scenarios (Some people may like it but most don't) But a relationship without trust is not a fully functioning relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Most of the time, most doms, the new ones, do not understand what it means to be able to do psychological things. They are so task oriented that they end up hurting their submissives and the submissive never wants to play again, or if they do play again, with a different dom, they are afraid of what will happen.

This often isn't even a matter of not understanding the psychological aspects. A lot of dominants gain their main ideas through erotica and pornography- which for the most part does not represent the true meaning of relationships and the levels of concern, safety and communication involved. It is largely based on misconception that has the potential to cause sever long lasting emotional and psychological damages. You're right though it does leave a lot of reluctance in many cases.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Limits MUST be respected at all times. It doesn't matter what it is, those limits MUST 100% be respected and certainly, if it is a "soft limit" or something that the submissive is curious about, then yes, test it, but if they say "no" or give the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Don't continue that behaviour. It will only discourage the submissive from ever trying anything with you again.

Yea limits, and respect of these limits is incredibly important as in lots of situations these are not 'irrational' as I have heard some people claim. Everyone has a right to limits and to change their mind on them and have them respected. Being a dominant doesn't mean you get to pick and chose between which of these limits you see as being valid. but I think i've already ranted about limits somewhere on this bit so ill leave it there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

... I do it because I care about my submissives because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO...That is one thing I find that many new doms forget. They get so wrapped ...that they forget that the other person is A PERSON. Not just a toy that they can throw to the side ...

True true, 'tis becoming a crying shame- so many submissive's are treat like/ or open themselves up to be treat like a piece of meat. Often totally unaware of the potential damages. I feel it is due to poor education on both sides.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

As a dom it is your responsibility to take care of the submissive while they are in subspace and even outside of it.....It is along the same line as those threads that say, "I have no limits". I see that and I immediately say bullshit. I see no point in those types of threads and it just saddens me..

This is crucial. NEW AND 'EXPERIENCED' DOMS ALIKE UNDERSTAND THIS!! The over all health- mentally, emotionally,socially and (physically in play) is your responsibility! There is more to dominance than just barking orders you have a responsibility and a duty to your submissive to look after them and make sure that they are subject to no harm (harm is different to hurt and pain) Look after them and think before you act and you will be rewarded. Unless of course you get off on destroying people... then I really think you need psychiatric help not a submissive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Usually the good doms are the ones who spend time training and molding their submissives rather than just toying with them and sending them away.

Very much so quick fix rarely pays off. Take the time to get to know someone and grow into your role, train and be trained. teach and be willing to be taught. Thats right... you can learn from a submissive as much as they can learn from you. Be open minded and do not just settle for the quick fix it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Before this becomes an even longer wall of text, I just want to thank Star, Anjelen, and Leo again for their points of view and I encourage everyone to look to them for what a submissive, as is in Star's case, and doms, as in Anjelen and Leo's case, should be.

Thank you again for your kind and considered response; and your kind comments about looking to me. Its a scary honour to think people are using me as a role model (considering I'm not even 18 yet for one thing)

LadyCeleste · 03-16-2011, 02:37 PM

Star - Your ideas from a submissive point of view could be viewed as "unconventional" because you have an opinion. That is why I said people who are submissive should look to you because of that.

I would agree that many dominants get their 'ideas about domination' through pornography among other things too. But the thing is that most of those are just shows and do not reflect reality. I have spoken with many doms outside of this forum, in real life specifically, and many of them have a favourite from a pornographic film, or a snuff book that they have read.

I have been given books by friends who are new to the scene and one of them was, "proper ways of domination." or something close to that anyway, and I read through the first chapter and set it aside because while informative, it was not targeting the part that needed to be said which was "play, don't abuse".

I just hope that dominants and submissives alike will read this and take heed in those words that have been said here.

Star Shadows · 03-16-2011, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCeleste

Star - Your ideas from a submissive point of view could be viewed as "unconventional" because you have an opinion. That is why I said people who are submissive should look to you because of that.

I would agree that many dominants get their 'ideas about domination' through pornography among other things too. But the thing is that most of those are just shows and do not reflect reality. I have spoken with many doms outside of this forum, in real life specifically, and many of them have a favourite from a pornographic film, or a snuff book that they have read.

I have been given books by friends who are new to the scene and one of them was, "proper ways of domination." or something close to that anyway, and I read through the first chapter and set it aside because while informative, it was not targeting the part that needed to be said which was "play, don't abuse".

I just hope that dominants and submissives alike will read this and take heed in those words that have been said here.

Yea. I have been often told im not meant to have an opinion cos I am submissive... that can lead to interesting PM responses. Not sure why submission should translate to many people as no opinion at all (or even no opinion with your own dominant) it really shouldn't be unconventional.

The getting information from books and pornography also kinda pisses me off. too because as you said- it is very rarely reflective on reality.

Youronlymaster · 03-17-2011, 09:18 AM

Hi everyone,

I'm kinda new on here and this thread got my attention, I quickly read through some of it and I find it rather nice to see some peoples opinions on this subject.
I have to say that I kinda agree with Mistress Celeste on a lot of subjects by the way.

I just placed an ad as I'm looking for new subs, I hope to find someone and build up something nice.

05-17-2010, 08:24 AM	#18
TensionRoom101 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 223	There are too many Doms who like the idea of having a girly to do their bidding without question, despite the fact they don't have the slightest idea of the psychology of domination, ownership and respect. I have been in the lifestyle for a lot of years, and have seen every kind of 'dumbinant' (nice word, will steal it) come through. Worse though, I've seen the trail of broken submissives they've left in their wake, and spend a lot of time repairing their damage. In some cases it's malice. They're misogynists with a need to punish women- probably stifled by mummy or mocked by girls at school. In others, it's just sheer ignorance of the subtleties of our lifestyle. and assume because a submissive fantasises about something that makes it ok to just do it to them. What young girls are ready for when they're wanking alone in bed is seldom if ever what they're ready for in a D/s relationship. For me, what it means to be a dominant is to help the submissive find their true selves, and support them in that quest- give them strength to do the things they might not feel they can do alone. My submissive is my equal, and I treat her as such. Yes, I guide her, steer her a safe course (that SHE navigates, not I), and lead her to the self validation, and of course acknowledgement from me, that she craves and needs. My submissive I put on a pedestal and worship her, because she has given up of herself the biggest part of herself and entrusted it to my care. If as a dominant you're not up to that care, then leave the submissive alone. My experience of the submissives- especially female submissives- on the fetish and BDSM scene, is that a disproportionate amount of them are depressed or bi polar. A lot have been abused (either physically or mental/emotionally). A lot are seeking self harm by proxy. For very few is it solely about kink- for most it's been about looking to complete themselves. A dominant owes it to those that would give themselves to him/her to find out what brought your submissive to that space. Their wants and needs (both stated and unstated) and to complete your submissive as s/he seeks to complete you. As the adage goes, if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem. Mike __________________ When even the wisest of young people can't see the consequences of their actions, it's time I called it a day.

05-15-2010, 11:26 AM	#16
Leopard Truth or Dare Enthusiast Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,522	Blackmail is an iffy subject, that's true. But I was putting that under consensual: if he knows the risks and is okay with them then so long as no one is being harmed, then that's his choice to make. I don't think it's a very clever choice, but it's up to him to decide. (This is of course regarding consensual blackmail with the terms previously agreed upon by both parties, preferably the submissive initiating and deciding on it. Real blackmail is wrong!) Of course, things can go wrong, which is why it's a rather grey area. But if you know the risks and have thought it through, no one is getting hurt and it's your own decision, I don't see why anyone has any right to say you're doing the wrong thing. Once you have basic knowledge it's very easy to know when to see the general red flags (unforeseen things can still go wrong but that's true of any sort of relationship.) It seems to me that the biggest goal right now aside from these wonderfully educating threads is to make it easier for everyone to see those red flags - there are still far too many so-called doms running around ruining perfectly good new submissives and giving us all a bad name. Sadly these are the types who do not read these threads at all.

03-15-2011, 10:05 PM	#25
LadyCeleste Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 173 Blog Entries: 5	A big thank you to Anjelen and Star with their posts here. So many times as I am reading through the applicants I get, I see so much harm that has been done to these submissives that I want to get in touch with the old doms and smack them as hard as I can. It's just astounds me that doms treat their submissives in such a manner. I have always been a psychological domme for the simple fact that the psychological aspect is the most fascinating. It is more interesting once you are able to get inside your submissive's mind and help them reach that point where they are in subspace, take them by the hand and lead them into it. It is always a HUGE red flag to me whenever I see or hear, "I've been forced..." whatever the task might be. A dom should never FORCE their sub to do anything. It is all about respect, honour, trust. If none of those factors exist in the relationship how can it possibly continue? How could it be healthy? I'm honestly amazed sometimes at how the submissives who apply with me always say, "you're so different than the others" it breaks my heart every time because I cannot believe that I am THAT different that it needs to be said. Most of the time, most doms, the new ones, do not understand what it means to be able to do psychological things. They are so task oriented that they end up hurting their submissives and the submissive never wants to play again, or if they do play again, with a different dom, they are afraid of what will happen. Limits MUST be respected at all times. It doesn't matter what it is, those limits MUST 100% be respected and certainly, if it is a "soft limit" or something that the submissive is curious about, then yes, test it, but if they say "no" or give the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Don't continue that behaviour. It will only discourage the submissive from ever trying anything with you again. So many times I hear about mistreatment, or these submissives are new and are trained to believe that all doms are bad, evil, hurting, what have you. It's truly maddening when I have to go back and repair the damage before I am able to play. I do it because I care about my submissives because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO. That is one thing I find that many new doms forget. They get so wrapped up in the idea of having complete and utter control over the other individual that they forget that the other person is A PERSON. Not just a toy that they can throw to the side when they're done playing with them. Submissives have wants, needs, desires, ambitions. As a dom it is your responsibility to take care of the submissive while they are in subspace and even outside of it. Most of the threads I see here with the "message me now bitch" just irk me. It is along the same line as those threads that say, "I have no limits". I see that and I immediately say bullshit. I see no point in those types of threads and it just saddens me because that only signifies that as Anjelen says, a "dumbinant." Anjelen, I love that word so much and I am grateful you came up with such a word. One thing that always shocks me is when I tell my future submissives that I want them to have a life outside of me. I usually get a "life, wait, I'm allowed to have that?" It's just odd that most submissives don't find good doms out there. Usually the good doms are the ones who spend time training and molding their submissives rather than just toying with them and sending them away. Before this becomes an even longer wall of text, I just want to thank Star, Anjelen, and Leo again for their points of view and I encourage everyone to look to them for what a submissive, as is in Star's case, and doms, as in Anjelen and Leo's case, should be.

03-16-2011, 12:25 PM	#26
Master Tom Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Germany Posts: 11 Blog Entries: 1	Hello, I really must admit that you have found the right description for a master/slave relation. Thank you very much. May these words help to find good Masters and Slaves. Thanks again. Master Tom

03-16-2011, 02:37 PM	#28
LadyCeleste Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 173 Blog Entries: 5	Star - Your ideas from a submissive point of view could be viewed as "unconventional" because you have an opinion. That is why I said people who are submissive should look to you because of that. I would agree that many dominants get their 'ideas about domination' through pornography among other things too. But the thing is that most of those are just shows and do not reflect reality. I have spoken with many doms outside of this forum, in real life specifically, and many of them have a favourite from a pornographic film, or a snuff book that they have read. I have been given books by friends who are new to the scene and one of them was, "proper ways of domination." or something close to that anyway, and I read through the first chapter and set it aside because while informative, it was not targeting the part that needed to be said which was "play, don't abuse". I just hope that dominants and submissives alike will read this and take heed in those words that have been said here.

03-17-2011, 09:18 AM	#30
Youronlymaster Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 15	Hi everyone, I'm kinda new on here and this thread got my attention, I quickly read through some of it and I find it rather nice to see some peoples opinions on this subject. I have to say that I kinda agree with Mistress Celeste on a lot of subjects by the way. I just placed an ad as I'm looking for new subs, I hope to find someone and build up something nice.