How I met my girlfriend[non-fiction]

[Drako]

Ok when this event took place I was 15 years of age. Ok in December my friend Ferdinand invited me and some girls over to his house His parents were away that week. So at the beginning of the party we watched a movie and had pizza. Eventually we started a game of truth or dare It was mostly dares. They got really serious as the night went on. Then it was just me and this girl called saccagawea and my friend Ferdinand. The final dare was on me. So ferdinand dared me to makeout with saccagawea for 5 minuites. So I did and it was amazing. A week later shecalled my house and asked if I wanted to go over tiger house to watch a movie. I said yes.

To be continued
i'm a little tired

[CFNM lover]

What the .... is this

[Blue Water]

Originally Posted by CFNM lover

What the .... is this

This, my friend, is a very rushed story.

Seriously, I would have made this at LEAST 3 chapters, probably 5-6. You don't have to go into a lot of detail, but, this IS very rushed. You even let out the dialogue. While, yes, this is non-fiction, so you may feel that you have to be 100% accurate to your story, it is OK if you are off on the exact words said, or how it is done. As long as you get the general idea of what is going on, it is fine

Other than this, though, the idea is good. Just go into a little more detail next time.

[Star Shadows]

I dont know weather to laugh or scream... I could make a whole 20+ chapter story just about the truth or dare bit. The point of a story is to have enough detail to capture readers and make them want more, this has no detail and no dialogue, the idea would work but come on... its there really much point with so little padding..

maybe have another go at it with more detail, give me a message if you need a hand.