18F New(ish) to GD, trying to create a thread -

[Sophie :)]

Hi everyone,

I've been hanging about a little on GD for a while now, sometimes interacting with threads, but lately spending more and more time just talking to individual people. The vast majority of threads seem to start with a great idea, but then rapidly develop into something massive and unachievable which eventually dies out of a lack of time.

I've really wanted to have a thread of my own for some time, and my idea now is to use this to figure out how this is going to work. I do have great fantasies of being a full-time sub, having either one master or a whole collection, but unfortunately, since the real world exists, I haven't got time for anything like that.

My question to you would be: Can you help me design a concept that will give me rules/tasks etc. to live by while still managing to keep it something I can do over the long term, as well as carrying on with my normal life? I plan to keep this thread going for a while, and then once I have enough figured out, I will start a "proper" thread where I do all of those things, becoming the sub I always wanted to be and hopefully providing a bit of entertainment for all of you.

I'd like you to see this as a bit of an opportunity for yourselves as well - everyone has a fantasy imagination of their perfect sub don't they? Well, this is your chance to contribute a little bit toward making me yours, I'm sure you have great ideas...

If you made it this far and are still reading, thank you And I look forward to hearing from you soon...

Sophie

P.S. Edit #1: I've made a blog post to keep track of all of this, and to give people an overview without having to read through every post - Rules so far

[Taskdesigner]

Well, to start with, it's quite important to find out what kind of sub you are... Do you like rules (maybe so according to the post)? Ok... Should those rules be just about sexual part? Do you like things like clothing control? Free time acitivities control? Bedtime? Anything else?
Are you the kind of sub who willingly wants to follow them or do you need bigger control because you might try to cheat on them?
Do you find joy in simple pleasing your dominant? Or do you need a lot of attention? Or do you need to be "put in your place" often?
Would you like to share the dynamics with more dominants (easier for having almost all the time someone in reach, harder because each one of them might have somehow different expectations) or do you prefer just single one (then you need to create some mechanics that allow you to live by your rules even when he's not online).
There are quite a lot of things to consider and from my experience, there are types of subs who are much easier to create a very nice long-term relationship and then there are others who might be absolutely amazing for single or short-term sessions but usually not for the longer ones...

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by Taskdesigner

Well, to start with, it's quite important to find out what kind of sub you are... Do you like rules (maybe so according to the post)? Ok... Should those rules be just about sexual part? Do you like things like clothing control? Free time acitivities control? Bedtime? Anything else?
Are you the kind of sub who willingly wants to follow them or do you need bigger control because you might try to cheat on them?
Do you find joy in simple pleasing your dominant? Or do you need a lot of attention? Or do you need to be "put in your place" often?
Would you like to share the dynamics with more dominants (easier for having almost all the time someone in reach, harder because each one of them might have somehow different expectations) or do you prefer just single one (then you need to create some mechanics that allow you to live by your rules even when he's not online).
There are quite a lot of things to consider and from my experience, there are types of subs who are much easier to create a very nice long-term relationship and then there are others who might be absolutely amazing for single or short-term sessions but usually not for the longer ones...

Yes, I definitely understand you need more information (A little is already in my list of likes, but I'll expand on here.)

I think rules should be a big part of this, as they mean I don't need to be online all the time to check what I am supposed to be doing. And although the main part of this is sexual I would imagine, I wouldn't limit it completely, clothing control etc. would also be something I could find arousing (Within the limits that I need to get on with the rest of my life, particularly high-time activities could be difficult.)

I do try to be well-behaved and do as I'm told, pleasing my Masters and Mistresses. But that said, I'm not perfect, and I could imagine that maybe some day I might slip up....

I'm not really looking to be one-on-one with someone, I envisaged it more as an idea with lots of people contributing something to it, and getting a little share of being in control of me - I need a system though, you're right, otherwise conflicting ideas will probably cause chaos.

Thanks for contributing your thoughts, I can tell you know what you're talking about (judging by your name not surprising...)

[Robink]

how about testing out some rules short term and seeing which will be suitable to your current lifestyle.

no touch unless given permission
clothing control
exercise routine.
edging routines.

the first rule should be no orgasm with out permission or completion of a specific task.
100 edges before next orgasm

[Taskdesigner]

I have never liked the idea of more dominants - firstly I am quite possessive and jealous. The mere idea of my sub obeying someone else makes me angry (talking to others is ok but any kind of D/s dynamics or playing with other not). So in this point I can't really advice you. However I would strongly advised to choose one dom to have the most important position and possibly resolve any disputes among the others (and I'm sure such problems will occur). Also you should think about some way for the doms to talk with each other, share their ideas or plans with you in private where you can't see it. The idea of myself keeping you denied for two weeks because I've got big plans for you and someone else ruins it with allowing you an orgasm... I'm sure I wouldn't be nice in such moment... 😀

Another important thing is to find the perfect balance between structure and boredom. From my point of view having to complete some quick and easy task periodically (spend 5 minutes every evening kneeling naked just in your collar, eyes closed, "meditating") might be nice because it brings some structure, something easy you can look forward to for the whole day and it's perfectly fine to be still the same. Having to report about your day every evening? No... just think about how often there is something unusual in your life and how often it would be about "I woke up at 6:30, edged 3 times because I was supposed to, then went to school/work, wore this because you chose that, then after that I did some shopping got home, did my chores naked because I'm supposed to them this way and that's all." I don't say reports are necessarily wrong but for me, in the long-term relationship, making a report once a week is perfectly fine. And this is similar with everything. If you make it too chaotic, it lacks any kind of structure which many subs like (and sometimes even need). If you make it too rigid, especially on daily bases it becomes boring quickly. When I want to set something, I much rather say "do it 3 times a week, but it's up to you when" or "do it for 4 hours in the next 3 days, but it doesn't matter whether in one session or in 8 sessions per 30 minutes." But you have to find your own balance and ne ready to experience some mistakes and failures before you fid your perfect way.

And the one mentioned is strongly connected to incorporating some kind of luck/chance element. Do you need a permission to go out with your friends? Of course you may ask your dom(s) but sooner or later you will find your ways how to improve your chances with each of them. If there's any luck element (flipping a coin, rolling a dice, being it dependent on your performance in some task, etc.), it limits your ability to take the control back. And also gives you more excitement because you REALLY never know what the decision will be.

You may even try to talk some dom to create some kind of point system (for example the obedience app works this way) where you can earn points by doing tasks and then spend them for different pleasures or privileges. But as far as I can say, it takes a lot of time to make such system really personalised and well balanced.

That's probably all from me now. I may add more later. Or feel free to contact me personally if you want to discuss anything of that in more details 🙂

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by Robink

how about testing out some rules short term and seeing which will be suitable to your current lifestyle.

no touch unless given permission
clothing control
exercise routine.
edging routines.

the first rule should be no orgasm with out permission or completion of a specific task.
100 edges before next orgasm

Thanks for your ideas!!

I think no touching without permission is probably a fairly universal ground rule....

I could definitely post an album or something with my outfits and then give people a choice, most things should work well like that. (Although I have to say, my wardrobe isn't the most exciting...)

I have a fairly fixed exercise routine already, I'm not sure if I would be willing to lose that, but maybe I could build some things into it.

Edging... of course always a classic on GD, I think I will have to dedicate a system to how many times I should edge, and how...

Earning my orgasms, sounds very fair... and 100 edges is certainly an option, I wonder if I should run a poll or something, so each time I get a task suggested by you all to earn my next orgasm, and so on, what do you think?

[Robink]

Originally Posted by Sophie :)

Thanks for your ideas!!

I think no touching without permission is probably a fairly universal ground rule....

I could definitely post an album or something with my outfits and then give people a choice, most things should work well like that. (Although I have to say, my wardrobe isn't the most exciting...)

I have a fairly fixed exercise routine already, I'm not sure if I would be willing to lose that, but maybe I could build some things into it.

Edging... of course always a classic on GD, I think I will have to dedicate a system to how many times I should edge, and how...

Earning my orgasms, sounds very fair... and 100 edges is certainly an option, I wonder if I should run a poll or something, so each time I get a task suggested by you all to earn my next orgasm, and so on, what do you think?

I think maybe a rewards/ punishment system for your orgasms.
Completing tasks earns chances at orgasms
Failing tasks receive punishments.
Spanking punishments, extended denial.
Tasks will be completed when you write a report on that task.
But a poll is a gd idea it makes it easier I think for people to give there opinion on tasks

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by Taskdesigner

I have never liked the idea of more dominants - firstly I am quite possessive and jealous. The mere idea of my sub obeying someone else makes me angry (talking to others is ok but any kind of D/s dynamics or playing with other not). So in this point I can't really advice you. However I would strongly advised to choose one dom to have the most important position and possibly resolve any disputes among the others (and I'm sure such problems will occur). Also you should think about some way for the doms to talk with each other, share their ideas or plans with you in private where you can't see it. The idea of myself keeping you denied for two weeks because I've got big plans for you and someone else ruins it with allowing you an orgasm... I'm sure I wouldn't be nice in such moment... 😀

Another important thing is to find the perfect balance between structure and boredom. From my point of view having to complete some quick and easy task periodically (spend 5 minutes every evening kneeling naked just in your collar, eyes closed, "meditating") might be nice because it brings some structure, something easy you can look forward to for the whole day and it's perfectly fine to be still the same. Having to report about your day every evening? No... just think about how often there is something unusual in your life and how often it would be about "I woke up at 6:30, edged 3 times because I was supposed to, then went to school/work, wore this because you chose that, then after that I did some shopping got home, did my chores naked because I'm supposed to them this way and that's all." I don't say reports are necessarily wrong but for me, in the long-term relationship, making a report once a week is perfectly fine. And this is similar with everything. If you make it too chaotic, it lacks any kind of structure which many subs like (and sometimes even need). If you make it too rigid, especially on daily bases it becomes boring quickly. When I want to set something, I much rather say "do it 3 times a week, but it's up to you when" or "do it for 4 hours in the next 3 days, but it doesn't matter whether in one session or in 8 sessions per 30 minutes." But you have to find your own balance and ne ready to experience some mistakes and failures before you fid your perfect way.

And the one mentioned is strongly connected to incorporating some kind of luck/chance element. Do you need a permission to go out with your friends? Of course you may ask your dom(s) but sooner or later you will find your ways how to improve your chances with each of them. If there's any luck element (flipping a coin, rolling a dice, being it dependent on your performance in some task, etc.), it limits your ability to take the control back. And also gives you more excitement because you REALLY never know what the decision will be.

You may even try to talk some dom to create some kind of point system (for example the obedience app works this way) where you can earn points by doing tasks and then spend them for different pleasures or privileges. But as far as I can say, it takes a lot of time to make such system really personalised and well balanced.

That's probably all from me now. I may add more later. Or feel free to contact me personally if you want to discuss anything of that in more details 🙂

Thanks so much for all you've added, this is great

And I see what you mean, sharing is not that easy... And denying someone just to have someone else release them is really a bit awful. I wonder if having one "Main Master/Mistress" wouldn't be such a bad idea, I could think about putting up an ad or something....

Again, you make a good point, having every day identical is unrealistic and not very exciting for everyone. I think working in weeks rather than days could be clever like you say. Also some form of tracking is definitely a good idea, using an app or something else, preferably something anyone can see, but not anyone can edit directly. I'll look into that.

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by Robink

I think maybe a rewards/ punishment system for your orgasms.
Completing tasks earns chances at orgasms
Failing tasks receive punishments.
Spanking punishments, extended denial.
Tasks will be completed when you write a report on that task.
But a poll is a gd idea it makes it easier I think for people to give there opinion on tasks

I like the idea (And Taskdesigner's was very similar) of having almost a scale that tips toward orgasm for tasks completed, and toward punishment for tasks failed, that could definitely work.

[Robink]

Also an album of clothing would be good to allow posters to choose.provided you are comfortable posting them.
In your exercise routine you could maybe add a vibe or plug during certain exercises.
If you don't want to change the routine you do add a kinky session to it once a week.

[GivingWantingDares]

Check the Teamup calendar, it may be useful for what you're thinking about doing

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by Robink

Also an album of clothing would be good to allow posters to choose.provided you are comfortable posting them.
In your exercise routine you could maybe add a vibe or plug during certain exercises.
If you don't want to change the routine you do add a kinky session to it once a week.

I will definitely make an album of clothes/outfits for people to choose from.

I'll try that out and see if it works, providing it doesn't cause any pain I will incorporate that - and a kinky session? Certainly sounds interesting....

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by GivingWantingDares

Check the Teamup calendar, it may be useful for what you're thinking about doing

Wow thanks, that looks great! That could definitely be a big help

[sharkey6910]

You should be naked at all times when at home when alone in your room. If you need to put clothes on to greet someone, don't rush to do so, take time and be confident in yourself. You should keep curtains open whenever possible and as your situation allows.

Start each morning with an edge, followed by exercise session:

You can have up to 7 different sessions through the week, one for each day. But you can start with just doing the following every day, until you get more variety to fill your week (I'm sure others could have fun giving you a run to do, for example):
- Exercise to a video on the Internet (or a live session), naked of course. You can mix and match, yoga, fitness, etc, and the instructor can be clothed or naked. For extra fun you should film your sessions on your phone, not to show anyone or even to necessarily watch back yourself - just so you know they're there, and delete the previous session after each session. Once you have finished your exercise session you may edge once more.

Have fun

[Sophie :)]

Originally Posted by sharkey6910

You should be naked at all times when at home when alone in your room. If you need to put clothes on to greet someone, don't rush to do so, take time and be confident in yourself. You should keep curtains open whenever possible and as your situation allows.

Start each morning with an edge, followed by exercise session:

You can have up to 7 different sessions through the week, one for each day. But you can start with just doing the following every day, until you get more variety to fill your week (I'm sure others could have fun giving you a run to do, for example):
- Exercise to a video on the Internet (or a live session), naked of course. You can mix and match, yoga, fitness, etc, and the instructor can be clothed or naked. For extra fun you should film your sessions on your phone, not to show anyone or even to necessarily watch back yourself - just so you know they're there, and delete the previous session after each session. Once you have finished your exercise session you may edge once more.

Have fun

Hi, and thanks for your ideas!

I actually live in a flatshare and often have a roommate (the joys of being a student) so this isn't going to happen very often. But as a counter-offer I will suggest that in the bathroom I will be completely naked, as well as when I am actually alone.

As I mentioned somewhere above, my exercise is already fairly fixed, and sadly outdoors, so that would be tricky. But I was already planning one kinky session a week, I'm sure I can work a bit of nudity into that