What do you enjoy as a Dom when you inflict pain or watch someone in pain ?

[pluky]

Despite being a bit of a Switch my Dominant side doesn't involve enjoying much pain in other people. I'm curious if those who do could explain a bit how they feel, what it is exactly that pleasures them ?

[Garry0993]

I think I enjoy the fact that I am in control of my sub. Her pleasure and pain are all my choice. Knowing that I can go as far as make eyes filled with tears or just being teased and begging for more.

The control of it is what attracts me the most.

[FrostbittenSoul]

For me, I don't get off on inflicting pain ... I get off on how horny and aroused my sub/slave gets from what I am doing to her (whether pain, humiliation, edgings, etc.) ... one of my main kinks is watching a slave begging for more ... and knowing her orgasm is building ... I always adapt my style to what the slave needs/requires to get off with the most powerful orgasm she can have ... it just takes a few sessions to adapt to her wants by seeing how she reacts to what I am doing.

[redcamel]

Pain is a broad concept.

Phisical pain is not interesting for me, I don't like phisical violence, I don't enjoy inflicting it, I dont't like assist, and I find the result on the body absolutely unaesthetic. Some mild pain could be interesting only as a complement for other practices, applied just to the extent where it starts to feel painful, with the only purpose to outline the state of submission, better if it is self-inflicted.

The psychological pain is a lot more interesting for me. First of all, to be clear, I'm aware that it can be even more painful or harmful than the phisical pain, so it must be managed very carefully, of course in a consensual context, and with a great attention and sensibility for the sub. IMO it can be easier not to be aware to be going beyond the limits inflicting psychological pain than phisycal pain.

To answer the question "what it is exactly that pleasures them", to say it in few words it's that I like to fuck the most powerful sexual organ of a female: her brain. In a D/s game/relationship played/based upon a psychological domination/submission, by my point of view fantasy has a big part: as a Dom I feel challenged to find new and always different ways to strike the sub by surprise... finding new words to make her blush, feel humilated and/or ashamed, and at the same time, make her nipples stand and her cunt pulsate and drip desperately for me is the best pleasure.

I hope it makes sense.

[pluky]

Those were all interesting outlooks, tho I wish more strictly sadistic people would explain their enjoyment.

[Azyliux]

I'm not sure what you mean by strictly sadistic. I would say that control and submission are my primary kink, however I definitely have a sadistic side that I usually try to keep well under control as a Dom.

When it comes to pain, I don't take pleasure in other people feeling pain per se. Like most "normal" people, I can empathize with how they are feeling and generally want them to feel better. So walking around a hospital ward watching people in pain would certainly not bring me any pleasure, and if I could do something to ease their pain I would.

However, while I don't take pleasure in other people feeling pain, I can and do greatly enjoy the process of inflicting it upon someone. But even here it is situational. I'm not going to get any sadistic pleasure stomping on someones leg during a sporting game, punching someone in a boxing ring, or other forms of incidental violence. I'd rather be a torturer than a fighter. Restraining someone so they are helpless and then deliberately and carefully hurting them excites me, but mainly for the mental mindfuck I am inflicting; empathizing with how they feel - their vulnerability, their fear, their powerlessness - is an important part of it. But the biggest thrill for me is when that person is submitting voluntarily, offering up the power to hurt them, feeling all those emotions but allowing it to be done to them anyway.

I have been circling around your central question though. What is it I enjoy? At it's most raw, it is probably the feeling of power. Being able to inflict pain is just one way of exercising power and I like many others too (humiliation, obedience, service). Pain is in many ways the simplest and most clear cut demonstration of power, but also the most fleeting, whereas others can be more complex and potentially more rewarding.

I've learned over the years that I do need to keep this side of me well chained, especially during play sessions. Most things I regret doing with subs as a Dom have been the result of letting my sadistic desires run too free in the moment. It can be a heady rush! Especially for an inexperienced Dom. These days, I try to put my sadism (and often personal arousal) aside during actual play and focus everything on carefully controlling my sub's mental journey. I know I can always revisit memories of the session and allow my sadistic side to revel with unchecked glee as I re-live the moment later.

Hmm, I ended up writing more than I intended to here. I hope this goes someway to answering your question regarding enjoyment even if I am not "strictly" a sadist.

[pluky]

Can you mention one example of those regrets, if it's not too personal ?

[Azyliux]

Probably too personal for me to post in a public forum. Sorry.