Ballbusting Dice of Doom

[inferiorwhiteboi]

Were you a bad boy? Did you lose a Battleship wager? Maybe you just like abusing your balls? Whatever the reason, you're in the right place and your balls are about to be punished. Poor fella.

For this dare, you'll need to have the following items convenient, although you might not end up using them all:

Some dice (or the electronic versions available on the web, such as at random.org), a coin (or an electronic version, again...), and various ballbusting implements as mentioned throughout the dare.

Okay then. Are you ready to begin? Then strip you bad boy!

Feel free to post your dice rolls, as well as your thoughts as you complete the dare in the thread. Feedback welcome and appreciated, thanks!

#1 - Warm-Up Round
Barehanded Ball Spanks, Medium Intensity
1 - No Warm-Up for you
2 - 25 slaps to each of your balls
3 - Lay your balls in the palm of one hand, then place the other hand on top. Clap 50 times.
4 - Give your balls a good firm squeeze. Count SLOWLY to 100, then release your balls.
5 - Flick each ball 25 times.
6 - Do 2, 3, 4 and 5 - Yes, all of them. At least you'll be fully warmed up!

#2 - Are We Tying Those Balls?
Flip a Coin:
Heads - Yes
Tails - Nope

#3 - A Little Harder Now! (Hard Round Part I)
To be done Firmly, with Intent. Be a man about it and take your medicine.
1 - 50 Very firm Slaps with each hand, so that's 100 in total.
2 - 25 Punches, while supporting your balls with your other hand. Don't be a wimp, PUNCH them!
3 - Fetch a hardback book, then flip it open to the middle. Insert balls and slam it closed 20 times.
4 - With the bristles of a hairbrush, do 250 firm whacks to your balls.
5 - To just the left ball, do 100 whacks with a wooden spoon.
6 - Do the Entire Section - Yes, all of them. Beginning to regret this? You might be soon!

#4 - What About Those Balls - Are They Tied Now?
Flip a Coin:
Heads - Yes
Tails - Nope

#5 - Hard Round, Part II
Firm, done with Intent (again)
1 - 200 with a wooden spoon to your balls
2 - With the bristles of a hairbrush, do 250 firm whacks to your balls.
3 - 100 Very firm Slaps with each hand, so that's 200 in total.
4 - 100 spanks with the flat side of a hairbrush to your balls.
5 - To just the right ball, 150 whacks with a ruler.
6 - Do the Entire Section - Yes, all of them. You poor bastard.

#6 - Dice Roll of Doom
Where do we go from here?
1 - UNLUCKY! Return to #1, Re-roll and start over, including completing each Round. Tough break!
2 - Repeat Round #5, but roll again, then proceed to #7
3 - Proceed to #7, after hitting your balls with a hairbrush, a ruler and a wooden spoon 33 times each.
4 - Re-do Rounds #4 and #5, but roll again, then proceed to #7
5 - If your balls are tied, untie them. If not tied, tie them now and proceed to #7.
6 - Proceed to #7. Phew!
NOTE: If you've already rolled here once, proceed to #7

#7 Cooldown?
Heads - Rest your balls on Ice for 5 minutes.
Tails - No cooldown for you.

#8 - Hard Round, Part III
1 - Do #1 from Round #3 and Round #5
2 - Do #2 from Round #3 and Round #5
3 - Do #3 from Round #3 and Round #5
4 - Do #4 from Round #3 and Round #5
5 - Do #5 from Round #3 and Round #5
6 - Do #6 from Round #3 and Round #5

#9 Now what about those tied balls?
Flip a Coin:
Heads - Yes
Tails - Nope

#10 Medium Round Part I
Medium Intensity, Not too soft but not too hard either
1 - 100 with a wooden spoon to both balls
2 - Support your balls with one hand. Firmly tap the left ball with a finger 50 times.
3 - Give your balls a good firm squeeze. Count SLOWLY to 100, then release your balls.
4 - 75 whacks with the back of a hairbrush.
5 - 150 whacks with the back of a hairbrush, to the right ball only.
6 - Do the Entire Section - Yes, all of them. Aww, you poor boy.

#11 - Dice Roll of Doom Part II
Heads - Return to #7 & start over from there
Tails - Proceed to #12
NOTE: If you've already rolled here once, proceed to #12

#12 - If Those Balls Are Tied, Untie Them Now
No Rolling/Flipping Needed

#13 Over Now, or Not Yet?
1 - Awww, you poor thing. Restart at #1, re-rolling all sections as you go, as if you were starting at the beginning. Do NOT automatically proceed at the Dice Rolls of Doom. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY ROLLED A 1 FOR THIS SECTION, REROLL.
2 - Edge 10 times, then you may rest your balls.
3 - Good job! As a reward, ice your balls for the next half hour.
4 - Fairly unlucky: 500 whacks to your balls with the bristle side of a hairbrush. Then you're finished.
5 - You're all done. Hope you survived.
6 - Really unlucky! 1,000 whacks with the bristle side of a hairbrush and don't be a wimp about it. Do them nice and hard!