Puns! Puns! Puns! - Page 3

Rassilon · 11-27-2014, 08:11 AM

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something.

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

qt31415926 · 11-27-2014, 12:49 PM

These two Cell towers got married. The wedding was horrible but the reception was great.

Jah Brother · 11-28-2014, 04:35 PM

Why did the kinkster become a taxidermist? Because he wanted a stuffed pussy

itslate · 11-28-2014, 07:55 PM

What's the difference between a joke and three dicks? --- Your mother can't take a joke.

catgirl1001a · 11-28-2014, 08:11 PM

Whens it bad luck to be followed by a cat? When you're a mouse.

catgirl1001a · 11-28-2014, 08:13 PM

What happened go the man who was hit by lightning. He was electrified. Or he had a shocking experience.

Azatoth · 11-29-2014, 02:38 AM

Throwing acid is wrong - in some people's eyes

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

Years after the Chernobyl accident and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes!

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

The first guy who persuaded a blind person they needed sunglasses - he must have been a hell of a salesman.

They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!

Wordsmiff · 11-29-2014, 04:39 AM

A man goes into the library, cuts off the bottom of his trouser leg, puts it on the counter and says "There's a turn-up for the books."

Wordsmiff · 11-29-2014, 04:40 AM

A man goes into a library with a root vegetable, puts it on the counter and says "There's a turnip for the books."

An_Jon · 11-30-2014, 03:41 AM

I was walking in my house when all of a sudden a load of books fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.

catgirl1001a · 11-30-2014, 04:46 AM

Which king was purple and had many wives? Henry the grape

Was was black and white but nows red all over? A penguin with a suntan

Did you hear about the vampire who had a broaken heart? He loved in vein.

What do you get when you cross a wedding and a cliff? A marriage on the rocks.

Iv got more for later.

Duleshna · 11-30-2014, 06:38 AM

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says “Hey get out! We don’t want your type in here!”

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Azatoth · 11-30-2014, 07:39 AM

How do you organize a galaxy party? You planet!

wedgie/dare girl · 11-30-2014, 09:17 AM

me: is your fridge running?
you: yes
me:good,see you at the fridge race tomorrow

An_Jon · 11-30-2014, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wedgie/dare girl

me: is your fridge running?
you: yes
me:good,see you at the fridge race tomorrow

I do like that one XD

How do you get 500 Pikachus on a bus? You put them into their Pokeballs, then you'll have much more space for them. (Anti-joke chicken ftw).

A small garden vegetable tried to roll off my plate earlier. It was an escape-pea!

A man walked into a bar with a small amphibian on his shoulder and said to the barman "I'll have a pint for me, and a half for tiny here." The barman asked "why is he called tiny?" - Because he's my-newt.

A man broke the world record today for the most stunts ever performed on a tube of toilet paper. He was really on a roll.

11-27-2014, 12:49 PM	#32
qt31415926 Distinguished Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: CST Posts: 661 Blog Entries: 2	These two Cell towers got married. The wedding was horrible but the reception was great. __________________ 50/M LIKES/LIMITS TORTURE ACADEMY GRADUATE Red team: RvB (4-0) Boys vs Girls (2-0) Holding games (2-0)

11-28-2014, 07:55 PM	#34
itslate Member Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Germany Posts: 45 Blog Entries: 8	What's the difference between a joke and three dicks? --- Your mother can't take a joke. __________________ M/30/Hetero/Dom. Likes, Dislikes, Limits - Milovana Profile with teases and videos My blog - My old ad

11-28-2014, 08:11 PM	#35
catgirl1001a getDare Sweetheart Join Date: May 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 402	Whens it bad luck to be followed by a cat? When you're a mouse. __________________ Female/22yrs/Bi. likes:wet and messy,night,food,pain, semi-publics(dark, woodlands),objects,long, wedgies,Anal, pussy, being controlled. Pics if I choose only. Dislikes:duct taped, body writing limits: extreme pain,family/friends, wax, full public, scat(Pee or poo), any chance of being caught, sexually related,mouth soaping. Owned by Nobody and that's fine with me not looking for any slaves so don't ask.

11-28-2014, 08:13 PM	#36
catgirl1001a getDare Sweetheart Join Date: May 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 402	What happened go the man who was hit by lightning. He was electrified. Or he had a shocking experience. __________________ Female/22yrs/Bi. likes:wet and messy,night,food,pain, semi-publics(dark, woodlands),objects,long, wedgies,Anal, pussy, being controlled. Pics if I choose only. Dislikes:duct taped, body writing limits: extreme pain,family/friends, wax, full public, scat(Pee or poo), any chance of being caught, sexually related,mouth soaping. Owned by Nobody and that's fine with me not looking for any slaves so don't ask.

11-29-2014, 02:38 AM	#37
Azatoth Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Greece Posts: 61	Throwing acid is wrong - in some people's eyes If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus? Years after the Chernobyl accident and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes! I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! The first guy who persuaded a blind person they needed sunglasses - he must have been a hell of a salesman. They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras! __________________ 24/M/Dom Looking for 18-30/F/Sub Click above to see my ad Last edited by Azatoth; 11-29-2014 at 02:42 AM.

11-27-2014, 08:11 AM	#31
Rassilon Account Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 71	Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. I used to be a banker but I lost interest. I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something. My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

11-28-2014, 04:35 PM	#33
Jah Brother Distinguished Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 620 Blog Entries: 3	Why did the kinkster become a taxidermist? Because he wanted a stuffed pussy

11-29-2014, 04:39 AM	#38
Wordsmiff Distinguished Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 654 Blog Entries: 3	A man goes into the library, cuts off the bottom of his trouser leg, puts it on the counter and says "There's a turn-up for the books."

11-29-2014, 04:40 AM	#39
Wordsmiff Distinguished Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 654 Blog Entries: 3	A man goes into a library with a root vegetable, puts it on the counter and says "There's a turnip for the books."

11-30-2014, 03:41 AM	#40
An_Jon Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Posts: 603 Blog Entries: 71	I was walking in my house when all of a sudden a load of books fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame. __________________ Hi, I'm Jon! I like talking to new people. Come and say hello if you'd like to get to know me 26 \| M \| UK \| Bisexual \| Switch \| Punmaster About Me \| My Blog \| BDSM Test Come and play with me: My AMA My KIK - and rules on using it!

11-30-2014, 04:46 AM	#41
catgirl1001a getDare Sweetheart Join Date: May 2012 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 402	Which king was purple and had many wives? Henry the grape Was was black and white but nows red all over? A penguin with a suntan Did you hear about the vampire who had a broaken heart? He loved in vein. What do you get when you cross a wedding and a cliff? A marriage on the rocks. Iv got more for later. __________________ Female/22yrs/Bi. likes:wet and messy,night,food,pain, semi-publics(dark, woodlands),objects,long, wedgies,Anal, pussy, being controlled. Pics if I choose only. Dislikes:duct taped, body writing limits: extreme pain,family/friends, wax, full public, scat(Pee or poo), any chance of being caught, sexually related,mouth soaping. Owned by Nobody and that's fine with me not looking for any slaves so don't ask.

11-30-2014, 06:38 AM	#42
Duleshna getDare Ladder Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 123 Blog Entries: 5	Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says “Hey get out! We don’t want your type in here!” In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes. Without geometry, life is pointless.

11-30-2014, 07:39 AM	#43
Azatoth Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Greece Posts: 61	How do you organize a galaxy party? You planet! __________________ 24/M/Dom Looking for 18-30/F/Sub Click above to see my ad

11-30-2014, 09:17 AM	#44
wedgie/dare girl Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: In a country Posts: 106 Blog Entries: 3	me: is your fridge running? you: yes me:good,see you at the fridge race tomorrow __________________ likes: punishment, wedgies and bullying, humiliation, light pain, mess, costumes, typing/clothing rules, roleplay, mockery/looking stupid, limits: illegal,extreme pain,extreme gross,picures/videos,