[Non-Fiction] My denial diary

[darkblue]

Thank you Pet Ra, for this wonderful diary!

Some time ago this year I was in denial for just 5 weeks, and I turned to a horny, dripping thing. Although male, I understand your feelings and the sweet sensation of edging or anal stimulation.

You are a strong and brave pet! Do what you need, it is your game.
I follow your story.

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by darkblue

Thank you Pet Ra, for this wonderful diary!

Some time ago this year I was in denial for just 5 weeks, and I turned to a horny, dripping thing. Although male, I understand your feelings and the sweet sensation of edging or anal stimulation.

You are a strong and brave pet! Do what you need, it is your game.
I follow your story.

Thank you

Yes, in the beginning of my denial journey I couldn't think of anything else most of the time, then it went down a bit but even now some days I'm just a horny mess, far away from a functional human being
Mostly it happens one or two days after some long edging time or when I just got someting up my ass. Then I just sit there, clencing my ass and enjoy the bolts of joy that rage trough my lower body.

It would be pretty easy for me to get my orgasm, all I had to do ist use my spare keys or call Master by his real name and ask for it.
You know, we have a safeword and an emergency brake.
If I use the safeword it means "Please stop what you are doing at the moment", but I remain their pet.
If I call Master or Mistress by their real names it means "Stop erverything right now", than even the pet-play stops.
Also Master and Mistress have an eye on me, so I don't push myself too far.

So, it would be easy for me just to ask for my orgasm.
But I want to earn it

[Pet Ra]

Thursday (Day 207 / 170)
Enemas 07 / 20

During the last weeks it was very warm, so on Monday my body reached a point were it had adapted to the heat. Normally my cunt is relatively calm but then it was like "Screw it. Here have some extra heat from me." So the last five days were pretty much of a challenge for me.
But yesterday we had a big thunderstorm and the temperature dropped by half.

We went to the city in the late evening and suddenly my body was like "Oh, it's nice and cool. Let's get really horny". It just hit me like a truck as we went down the street.
I gasped for air and my ice cream fell out of my hand as I pressed it against my stomach and bend forward. My nipples got so hard that it almost hurt, while my cunt was pulsating like crazy. I was unable to take any more steps, clenched my tights together and started to shake.

Immediately Master and Mistress were at my side, brought me to a park bench and asked me what happened. I just begged them to bring me somewhere where I didn't have to pretend to be a normal human being, so Mistress stayed with me, while Master got the car.

As we stepped out the elevator (normally I always use the stairs, but now I was really not in the condition for that) I had calmed a bit. But nevertheless my jeans hat some noticeably dark spots at my tights and after the door to the flat had closed I got out of my clothes so hastily that I ripped my shirt.

After I had undressed myself I caught a glimpse of my body in the big mirror.
The face blushed, I was heavily panting and shaking. My nipples were so stiff like they could cut glass. My tights were glistering in my juices and as Master removed the belt I could see that my pubes were a complete sticky mess. I really liked the view, like it was a picture of my true self

But Master and Mistress also were worried that I'll overdo it with the chastity, so we had a talk about it. I told them that I want to have an orgasm, of course. But not now. We have more than two weeks of summer holiday, I want to see if my body calms down till then and maybe I will earn one in that time.

As I locked myself again strangely I felt more complete and kinda brave.
But then Mistress just get up and got some pliers. She took her key, cut it in half and told me that this had been my last chance. I should never annoy her with begging for my orgasm again.

As the wonderful Yasna (I hope she is well with her studies and will come back one day. I kinda miss her ) wrote in her blog:
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. The five stages of grief."
Looks like I have reached the fifth stage in just 23 days. Fuck

[Pet Ra]

Wednesday (Day 213 / 176)
Enemas 07 / 20

Well, it's been six days again since my last report and I still don't know what happened last week that I got that horny. Maybe my cunt wanted to tell me what she think of this. But at the moment it is relatively calm.

We had to change the lock to the ass shield (we had a one-key-system), so Mistress can open it to let me poop. But she can't set me free anymore, as she intended.

Anyhow, she take every chance to let me know that I'm inferior in her eyes.
Yesterday she told me to look straight ahead while she sat sideways from me and shaved her pussy. While doing so she told how nice it feels having a smooth pussy and wearing soft panties instead of having a hairy-bush-monster that needed to be caged away in hard steel.
After Mistress had shaved she started to rub herself and telling me how nice it feels while I was still not allowed to look at her. I tried to peek, but soon my eyes hurt because I kept looking to one side for so long. I was squirming all the time till she finally called me. But just to kneel about 1m away and watch her how she fucked herself with one of my toys (because I don't have any use for them anymore). But after few minutes she told me to come closer and while I was eating her out she asked me if I remember last time I got licked. I closed my eyes as the memory washed over me when Master gently pulled me open, blew cool air against my hot spot and then gave me a long slow lick. It left me trembling because I really want to feel it again.
After Mistress reached her climax she told me how nice it feels to have an orgasm whenever she wants and how good it feels to fuck my boyfriend.
I pulled a pout in frustration and she laughed at me.

Same with Master.
Sometimes he just opens my belt and I have to hold the crotch shield while he jerk off till he shoot his load against my pubes before locking me again. Or he opens the belt and after I sucked him off I have spit his sperm in it. The result is the same: I spent the rest of the evening crawling around with my creamed fur. I love it.

Also I got more trained the last days. Master told me to work on my attitude. Because when I get told to give oral pleasure I seem to want it got done quickly, especially when pleasuring Mistress. It looks like I'm not worshipping the gift my owners make me.
I guess they're right. But it's hard to concentrate on giving good head or eating pussy while you have the feeling that your lower body could erupt in flames any second. But Master told me that I had choosen to be their pet, I gave away my orgasm voluntary, I had enough chances to have one, but because I want to earn my pleasure I decided not to. But he didn't see me putting any effort in it.
But also he confessed that he and Mistress went sloppy with it too.

I have to admit: That made me think and I started to read some pet journals again (I had read and saved some on my PC but didn't look at them for a long time). So I asked them if we could we sat together in the evening and update the laws and rules.

Laws are very strict and if I break them the punishment is most serve.
It have to be humiliating and will include my genitals and / or breasts.
Rules are not that strict and can be bend a bit (I forbid myself to talk now, but I have to talk for asking permission to talk).
If I break them I will get punished too, of course. But not so intense.

Furthermore the punishments for breaking a rule will be collected and I get them all together every Friday (my punishment-day), while for breaking a law I will get punished as soon as possible in the next 24 hours.

Let's see if this help to make me a happy pet

[Pet Ra]

Monday (Day 219 / 182)
Enemas 07 / 20

Mistress was working in the afternoon while I was expected to clean the flat and cook dinner, but I choose to hang around here.
Even I wrote that I had to do some cleaning "otherwise Master would get mad" I kept writing there because "I'll get punished anyway". So I obvious I didn't really care. The only positive is that I gave advise to someone who is interested in chastity, too.

So, I will get punished on Friday, if you like you can post some ideas, number of spankings etc. here. Only exception: It must be able to be done without removing my castity belt.

As a reminder that not just my cunt but also my access to gD can be denied I had to edit my Profile with the picture it have now

[BiEmily]

One fun punishment, more in thé humiliation direction, I endure from time to time is being made to go out shopping in my schoolgirl uniform You might wanna try that too. Otherwise having your wrists curfed to your collar is also a fun punishment

Also, add fifty soanks to each buttcheek from me.

[Pet Ra]

Sorry, in Germany we don't have school uniforms

[Sammylikes]

I think your master should make you a 1.5l enema (if you can take off your ass shield) and make you hold it while he spanks you.
How many spanks you ask ?

Let's say 5 for each time your wrote "edge" here

Happy ?