Sub/Top Drop and Sub/DomSpace

[Anjelen]

- After Chloe's extensive and comprehensive post on sub/dom frenzy, i feel this should be adressed as well insofar as it hasn't yet.

On a somewhat bright note; Top Drop is a brand of black liquorice candy here. Ha!

Anyway - Sub or Top Drop - What?

For everyone who plays, be they submissive or dominant, play tends to be intense; more so than everyday life, and a Dominant, particularly in play 'scenes', will more often than not take both themselves and their submissives from peak, to peak, to peak - with a variation of calms inbetween.

Consider sub/domspace; often described as a state of mind where normalcy is suspended and submissive and dominant find themselves 'in the zone', acting on their role to the full; i've often heard submissives describe it as a suspension of thought, a simple surrendrance, floating in their mind knowing themselves safe in the attention and responcibility of their Dominant; that mindspace where, quote, whips feel like a kiss, and caresses feel like infinitely more - unquote.

Domspace as well; for me, personally, my senses heighten, i become infinitely more focused; processing several threads at once, able of keeping tabs on any and all happenings in the room i'm in while at the same time focused entirely on my submissive; capable of reading, seeing the smallest hints of joy or worry in my submissive from their body language etcetera -

Both come with a flood of adrenaline, endorphines, and other such goodness.

If only for that goodness or simply because of the simplicity of the state of mind, subspace tends to be addictive. It's a rush, a bliss, a joy - and a shock to the system, even if only for that physical release of adrenaline and endorphines and such.

And, as with any addiction - after the rush comes the crash. The immediate crash is often taken care of through aftercare; i find that providing aftercare is a perfectly good way of winding down from Domspace while aftercare itself is a way to deal with the after-jitters a submissive may experience from an intense scene.

The actual drop may come hours, days, or even weeks later; the body craving that release of adrenaline, endorphines etcetera, the mind craving that release of normalcy - craving Sub, or Domspace.

Life becomes bland without it as the craving builds; body and mind crave intensity and everything dulls in comparison. The brightest day may seem dull, food may even lose it's taste (to a degree)! - it's your psyche and your body saying "We need a rush and we need it now!"

Be careful; if left untreated, Drop may cause anything from neurosis to depression - wich is why keeping in touch is important - if only because the mutually shared experience(s) will give both Dom and sub a common ground, as well as the ability to speak freely about then and now - and possibly, future as well.

i find it helps to pamper yourself - spend an extra few bucks on your favorite kind of comfort food, draw a hot bath, read a funny book, put on a good (preferredly comedic) movie, and take the occasional evening to yourself (or to yourself and your sub or dom, if you're so lucky) - heck, even playing a few games (together), without the world knocking at your door - simply some you time where you can focus on yourself and process, and remenisce, and realise that life without that rush isn't neccisarally as boring as it seems -

It lets you recharge, and you need that if you're in Drop; a simple re-centering of the self, a proverbial grabbing yourself by the scruff of the neck and going hey! i've lived without before, i can live without now - until next time! Find a balance, keep yourself there; you needn't worry. After all, the next scene may be just around the corner...

Of course, this is just my experience and the experience of various submissives i've interviewed on this particular subject; your mileage may vary.
So i would like to open this thread up for discussion;

What do, or would you do?

[Nixie]

Thanks for this. ACTUALLY in the process of working on something with my mom who was a sub for 20 years. And I've been consulting here on this. But as usual really Awesome! Thanks! ♥s

[Anjelen]

Ha. Thanks! Though i would like to elaborate on the subjects of 'drop and 'space.

Yes. actually elaborate.

[Nixie]

You should more needs to be said, and I'm not sure a lot understand how it effects "us." Especially the handling of the situation. I remember "dropping" about a month after a former and I split. And thank god for my mom and everything she COULD tell me. Otherwise I'd have been lost in the dark and on my own. Left in a state of depression where lashing out was my main focus. And being online is the worst in these situations. You can't immediately say I need you when that someone is miles apart and has distanced them-self from you. My only light was the fact that I have a mom and a sister who are into the scene and understand and pulled me up and out. Any touch is great to lift you out. I owe them so much. And if you don't have this and only have online, find a friend to TALK to its ok to talk. *shakes head* Some shouldn't pull away in this when you never know where its going to lead. Not in a forcing manner. Being friends is best. And somethings are NOT always better left unsaid...
But hey... Well Hopefully You people understand my Rant.
Nixie Out