Lola's Degrading Essay - Please Grade

[Lola Bunny]

Vincentio's bunny lost a vs. thread to davide.b. As a result it had to write a degrading essay and post it to getDare. Please grade the essay as you see fit. Due to only having 10 poll options, if you wish to provide the essay with a grade that is not listed, you may leave a comment with the grade you wish to provide. The bunny will average all poll responses and manually entered grades to determine its final score.

The grade received will determine how many clothespins it must place on its body. A grade of 100% = 5 pins, 95-99.99% = 6 pins, 90-94.99% = 7 pins, and so on. After all pins are placed, the bunny will edge once per pin to remove them. Here is the essay to grade:

Its Truth

I walk into my hotel room and I see the mirror in front of me. I look myself over and think about what I see. I see a girl with brown hair, plain and insignificant. I have glasses, an unkempt smile, and a double chin. There's nothing significant about the girl in front of me. She’s plain, she’s simple. No one would notice her. No one would care.

She wears clothes that are too big for her. She wears them to hide the fat beneath. She wears them to hide who she really is. Truly, she realizes, she's not really human. Not like other people at least. She is beneath them. She is less than them. Does she even deserve to be called she? No. Rather, she's a thing. It trembles a little at it's realization and its trembling fingers grab the bottom of its shirt. It pulls the shirt off revealing the shame beneath. The fat, stretch marks, everything that's wrong with it.

Its breasts are contained within a plain, tan bra. It frees its breasts. No, its tits. No, its udders. It struggles for the right words. Udders belong to cows. Perhaps even cows are too good for it? It tries to moo. Not quite right. Perhaps it's the fact it still has clothes on. Slowly, it unbuttons its trousers. It pulls them down and removes the pants. There's no underwear underneath. Even when pretending to be human it knows it's not good enough for underwear.

It tries to moo again. It's still not right. It knows what it must do. It lowers itself to the ground. On all fours like a cow, it's udders swaying back and forth, it feels better. It moos again and the sound it makes rings true. It enjoys a moment of connecting with the cow. Still the feeling is too good for it. It knows its worth is less than that. It knows deep down what it is. It struggles to say the words out loud.

Despite knowing what it is, it struggles to admit it publicly. Its body trembles to know that it is a piece of shit. It is nothing more than a punching bag that deserves to be used and abused. It knows how much punishment it should forfeit itself to. As hard as it is for it to admit, it knows that it craves and desires to be treated like the piece of shit that it is. It wants to be sent messages abusing it. It needs to be degraded, laughed at, spat upon. It longs to be treated unfairly, to be put in its place, to have the cards stacked against it. That feeling it gets in those moments of pure despair and depravity are the feelings it loves most in the world.

It hates itself for it, but it cannot change who it is. It knows it. Lowering itself to the floor, smashing its breasts against the rough carpet, it moos again, but now there is no joy in the sound. It is a sacrificial sound as it realizes soon the world will know its secret. It will not be able to hide anymore.

[JGVBjj]

91% because you switched from first to third person and that confused me a bit. Also you used the pronoun it when she would have been the more logical pronoun. It feels like you forgot how to english because you started saying I, then you went to the correct pronoun, but not the correct place for the pronoun, then you went to the incorrect pronoun in the incorrect location. Overall it left me confused about what perspective it is from.
I do like the imagery.

EDIT* I realized the pronoun shifts may be to show how human you are and you slowly become less human, and if that is what you were doing you did not keep to the intended topic, that being degradation, you went for a dehumanization topic, those are not the same.

I liked it, hopefully there is a sequel.

[Lola Bunny]

Thank you for the feedback. Vincentio's bunny definitely debated whether to post it like that or to rewrite it. She wrote it in a "stream of consciousness" method and my thought process moved from "I" to "she" to "it". Ultimately she chose to keep that transition because she felt it was very representative of the transition of thought processes as she was writing the essay.

Still, she appreciates how that can make it difficult to understand. She is grateful for your kindness in your grading.

[Jdelt]

As much as this style of writing is not for me, it is very well written, and I do like the pronoun change. It actually makes the essay a lot more powerful.

Damn, I know it was just written for a dare, but it made me kind of sad.

Very well done Lola Bunny!

[Jaro]

While I wish I could grade it lower then 90% to get you more clothespins and edges, that really would be fair. It's a good essay and udderly humorous.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by Jdelt

As much as this style of writing is not for me, it is very well written, and I do like the pronoun change. It actually makes the essay a lot more powerful.

Damn, I know it was just written for a dare, but it made me kind of sad.

Very well done Lola Bunny!

Aww... thanks. This bunny thanks you. Don't be sad. This bunny doesn't normally think this way about herself. But she enjoys the temporary feelings of humiliation and degradation upon occasion. I was fun to write.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by Jaroface

While I wish I could grade it lower then 90% to get you more clothespins and edges, that really would be fair. It's a good essay and udderly humorous.

Vincentio's bunny sees what you did there. Very punny, Jaroface!

[yellowtop]

Well, I found it a bit difficult to read, but it was very well written and
achieves its intended degrading effect, so I gave it a high grade
in the poll.

well done!

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by yellowtop

Well, I found it a bit difficult to read, but it was very well written and
achieves its intended degrading effect, so I gave it a high grade
in the poll.

well done!

This bunny feels bad that this essay was difficult for so many to read. She wants to reiterate that she is very self assured and confident in herself. Writing this essay did not affect her self esteem.

[Jdelt]

Take it as a compliment to your writing skills! I knew it was role-play, but it was still hard to read.

[LitDarkness]

Like the writing style and the shifts make sense to me so 100%.

[Runesmith]

Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills

Like the writing style and the shifts make sense to me so 100%.

As someone who has undergone this transformation in real life previously, I am sure it makes sense to you.

I like the style of the essay, and the pronoun change definitely reflects the transitions from humiliation to degradation to objectification/dehumanization. Although I wish I could give a lower grade to add more clothespins, I have to grade this higher.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by Runesmith

As someone who has undergone this transformation in real life previously, I am sure it makes sense to you.

I like the style of the essay, and the pronoun change definitely reflects the transitions from humiliation to degradation to objectification/dehumanization. Although I wish I could give a lower grade to add more clothespins, I have to grade this higher.

Thank you for this kind praise.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills

Like the writing style and the shifts make sense to me so 100%.

Thank you! I'm so glad so many people recognize the work I put into this.

[Lola Bunny]

Final score is 85.87%. That means I'll be placing 8 clothespins on my body and then edging 8 times to take them off. Thank you all for your honest opinions.