How Does a Person Find a Partner in Real Life?

[Mythologist]

I apologize if this is already answered in a sticky or something.

As much as I enjoy my online relationships, there are alwasy those intimate little things that are simply not possible to obtain online. Some of the best things in a relationship are only really available (or easier to obtain at least) in a face-to-face relationship. That said, I find that I have little to no idea of how to find a partner for a kinky relationship in real life.

Obviously, walking around and asking people if they're into M/s stuff can have negative consequences. Building a vanilla relationship and waiting to find out later on if the person is into kinky thing seems unfair to the other person because they'll be putting a lot of themselves into a relationship that might not have much chance depending on how important kinky tendencies are to you.

You can go online and look specifically for a sub or dom, but searching specifically for something kink-related seems likely to find you a sex-based relationship rather than something more intimate.

So my question is, how does one obtain a real-life sub or dom in such a way as to not make things too awkward/likely to result in social suicide while still having a good chance of finding someone with whom you can connect on a deeper level?

[Anjelen]

Find out about your local Kinksters - Fetlife, for instance, is a free, online, and very rapidly growing global community site that allows kinksters - Dom, Sub, Switch, or otherwise - to get in touch with each other and organise.

While Fetlife isn't a 'meat market' site - though it is entirely possible to find a person to your liking there - it is an excellent resource for those who wish to talk on the subject of D/s or anything even vaguely related to it.

Here, you can find out about the Kinksters in your area, see where they congregate and perhaps join the local Meets, Munches and Parties;

- Meet (social gathering of Kinksters of all kinds, informal and usually no play, particularly when held at public places such as pubs, restaurants, etcetera.)
- Munch (See meet, add food. usually held at pubs, restaurants, etcetera.)
- (Play)parties - speaks for itself, really; places where Doms and Subs and Switches of all kinds can come and enjoy themselves - and each other.

Attend a few of the Meets and Munches, socialise and rub elbows on- and offline, and who knows? Perhaps find the Dominant or Submissive (or Switch) of your dreams, wether online or off; with nearly half a million members worldwide, over 16000 groups of interest, and quickly growing, and (in my experience) largely without the downsides of the more meat-market oriented sites that are OkCupid, CollarMe and Alt.com - it's one of the best places to start taking your kinkyness seriously!

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Oh, I love Fetlife.

-swoons-

<3

[SubMissChievous]

Originally Posted by Anjelen

Find out about your local Kinksters - Fetlife, for instance, is a free, online, and very rapidly growing global community site that allows kinksters - Dom, Sub, Switch, or otherwise - to get in touch with each other and organise.

I also would recommend Fetlife. There you can use the search engine to find usergroups and events in your area. I just searched the nearest big city for me (Montreal) and there's 70 groups and 16 events. So I'm sure most people unless they live in a very remote place can find at least a few groups to chat and possibly meet with or events they can attend to