Disagreeing Is Healthy.
Master and I are very similar in a lot of ways. (Except that I'm much sweeter than he is.) So sometimes we spark against each other and things can get slightly heated.
Usually we've resolved it within a few minutes and moved on and until recently we never got to the stage where both of us were really pissed off or unhappy.
That happened when I forgot something quite minor -to ask to do something instead of stating it- and his response was for me to insert the spiked ben wa balls.
It's well known how much I hate them- to the point if I still worked with limits it would be one of the first things in there. So you can imagine my response when he said this. I immediately got defensive and didn't make any effort to go and retrieve them and do what he had told me to.
Because of this he got irritable with me too and I ended up getting snappy and passive aggressive and when I did start to insert them he told me to stop instead.
He no longer wanted me to do this because of how I was acting and the bad mood it had put me in, but he wasn't happy with how I was acting.
I pointed out that I didn't understand why for such a relatively minor mistake he was choosing to discipline me with one of the things I hate the most.
He thought about that point and told me actually he accepted that as valid and as we talked said he could have handled that better.
I agreed there was no need for me to be passive aggressive either and after we both apologised we talked calmly through it and resolved it.
It is okay to disagree and have a different opinion. Being his slave doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts or opinions on things and he always wants my input on whatever we do.
And this is another of the many reasons that I am proud to be his and happy to serve him-yes, I submit to him and sometimes I do things I don't much like but he is always willing to step forward and admit when he is wrong about something and apologise for it and that means everything to me.
Over the last several years whilst trying to find the right person for me I have been through the dickheads, the one offs, the manipulative, the abusive (Heh.) I've been with the sort of 'doms' who can't admit when they are at fault and it's obviously entirely my fault becaue I'm the one submitting to them so I should just shut up and do what I am told.
It means so much to me that Master values my opinion and agrees that it is worth just as much as his, that he is confident enough to admit when he has made a mistake and owns up to it.
We see so often subs/slaves admitting when they have said or done something wrong but rarely see it from the other perspective.
And that is just a miniscule part of why I love and adore him.
Usually we've resolved it within a few minutes and moved on and until recently we never got to the stage where both of us were really pissed off or unhappy.
That happened when I forgot something quite minor -to ask to do something instead of stating it- and his response was for me to insert the spiked ben wa balls.
It's well known how much I hate them- to the point if I still worked with limits it would be one of the first things in there. So you can imagine my response when he said this. I immediately got defensive and didn't make any effort to go and retrieve them and do what he had told me to.
Because of this he got irritable with me too and I ended up getting snappy and passive aggressive and when I did start to insert them he told me to stop instead.
He no longer wanted me to do this because of how I was acting and the bad mood it had put me in, but he wasn't happy with how I was acting.
I pointed out that I didn't understand why for such a relatively minor mistake he was choosing to discipline me with one of the things I hate the most.
He thought about that point and told me actually he accepted that as valid and as we talked said he could have handled that better.
I agreed there was no need for me to be passive aggressive either and after we both apologised we talked calmly through it and resolved it.
It is okay to disagree and have a different opinion. Being his slave doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts or opinions on things and he always wants my input on whatever we do.
And this is another of the many reasons that I am proud to be his and happy to serve him-yes, I submit to him and sometimes I do things I don't much like but he is always willing to step forward and admit when he is wrong about something and apologise for it and that means everything to me.
Over the last several years whilst trying to find the right person for me I have been through the dickheads, the one offs, the manipulative, the abusive (Heh.) I've been with the sort of 'doms' who can't admit when they are at fault and it's obviously entirely my fault becaue I'm the one submitting to them so I should just shut up and do what I am told.
It means so much to me that Master values my opinion and agrees that it is worth just as much as his, that he is confident enough to admit when he has made a mistake and owns up to it.
We see so often subs/slaves admitting when they have said or done something wrong but rarely see it from the other perspective.
And that is just a miniscule part of why I love and adore him.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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We all make mistakes, bad calls, errors in judgement.
What was said, but not stressed enough, is that even though I did make a mistake, even though she was not happy, she was willing to obey - if not happy to. My girl is not a doormat, thankfully, but she is beautifully obedient (even when she is in a strop - whether the strop is warranted or not.)Posted 01-31-2016 at 08:38 AM by AbusiveMaster 
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I have seen a 'slave' defined as someone who surrenders the right to any decisions, preferences, and limits to a master such that she becomes his property and is governed solely by his will. This is very, very, very much not my cup of tea. My brain cannot process how this would be something desirable (not that I think people are wrong for wanting this, it simply is not a desire I have at all).
But then I see M/s dynamics like yours, and I fucking admire you two. You are both balanced, down-to-earth, self-respecting, humble when needed, totally devoted, fantastic communicators, brilliant, thoughtful - and best of all, you both appreciate the thoughts and feelings of each other, fully. It is such a mindful and respectful kind of M/s, and I just love your faces so much for giving us glimpses into it. Thank you.Posted 01-31-2016 at 03:49 PM by naughtylittlegirl
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And I'm rarely if ever in a strop of course.Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
We all make mistakes, bad calls, errors in judgement.
What was said, but not stressed enough, is that even though I did make a mistake, even though she was not happy, she was willing to obey - if not happy to. My girl is not a doormat, thankfully, but she is beautifully obedient (even when she is in a strop - whether the strop is warranted or not.)
The first time I read this it completely overwhelmed me- thank you so much! I too used to view 'slave' that way and was adamant that wasn't and would never be me.Quote:Originally Posted by naughtylittlegirl
I have seen a 'slave' defined as someone who surrenders the right to any decisions, preferences, and limits to a master such that she becomes his property and is governed solely by his will. This is very, very, very much not my cup of tea. My brain cannot process how this would be something desirable (not that I think people are wrong for wanting this, it simply is not a desire I have at all).
But then I see M/s dynamics like yours, and I fucking admire you two. You are both balanced, down-to-earth, self-respecting, humble when needed, totally devoted, fantastic communicators, brilliant, thoughtful - and best of all, you both appreciate the thoughts and feelings of each other, fully. It is such a mindful and respectful kind of M/s, and I just love your faces so much for giving us glimpses into it. Thank you.
And then...then I got really lucky and started subbing to Master and my whole outlook on it changed when he explained his. I think it's dependant on how well each person works together and how we view it as a whole and not singular. Whilst we do sometimes have disagreements and he has the final say he makes sure I know at all times that I'm equal and that my opinion and feelings matter very much to him. And I love him for it.
Posted 02-08-2016 at 10:08 AM by IceMaiden
Updated 06-15-2016 at 05:38 AM by IceMaiden
