I find it very difficult to voice my story. I had never planned on writing a blog like this but writing is my escape, writing is my therapy. And though it feels very scary to share something so personal with the public, I am very proud of attempting to share my story. To this day, there is only one person in the entire world that has heard my story and I’d like to change that, starting with anyone that cares to read this entire post, and I’d then like to share it with my girlfriend. Nothing haunts us...

I can't believe that yesterday marked two months since Jaro and I started a D/s relationship. At first I was shocked to think that it has already been two months. It doesn't seem like that much time has passed, but when I started to reflect on everything we have done, it is surprising that it has ONLY been 2 months!

I first contacted Jaro because I saw that he was interested in exploring his submissive side. He had a list of curiosities that worked well with my likes and interests and...

I believe that traveling offers some of the best opportunities of learning and throughout my trips, I always take away something from each trip.

Some Things I Learned in Belgium:
1. Belgium mainly consists of beer, chocolate, waffles, and fries (or at least that is how it appeared to me!) Chocolate is king in Belgium! I tried famous Belgian brands like Neauhaus, Godiva, Leonidas, Nirvana, Marcolini, Wittamer, and too many other brands to list! In America, chocolate is often ate...

If you already haven't, go and read BDSM vs. Abuse and Dear Sub.lucy: BDSM and Abuse which have inspired me. They are very good, interesting to read and point out some important issues.

I'd like to start with my observation that sexual orientation and preferences might be related to the past experiences, especially while growing up. You can find several articles on its change. But I need to pin down the most important statements for me:

1. Sexual orientation and preferences...

As you walk down that path, listen to your heart.
As you walk down that path, do it for you.
As you walk down that path, remember to do it with open eyes.
As you walk down that path, remember mistakes will teach you.
As you walk down that path, you are not alone.
As you walk down that path, you are loved no matter what.

Monsters exist in everyone's life. A shadow in the corner of your eye or a nightmare that follows your every step. Not all monsters are visible and some you haven't even met. I always picture my demons as some horrendous shapes in the darkness. Not all are physical and some were created by my own design. They are predatory, with sharp teeth and glowing eyes. They stalk me at night, clawing at my mind while they whisper atrocities in my ear.

Sometimes, to fight my monsters, I become an...

A couple of weeks after my last purchases, I was at it again. On the 4th of January, I bought a penis pump, an anal starter dildo, another butt plug (this one silicone), and another masturbator. Also a rubber cock ring.

I haven't had a chance to try either of the anal items yet. I hope to soon though. The masturbator is not as good as my last one, but then again it is cheaper. I like this one because it's reversible which means easier to dry.

I've been using the penis pump...