Originally Posted by Cassandra

Butt plug stew, hmmm ... I wonder how that tastes. Maybe jaro can execute one day when he has enough used and abandoned butt plugs to make a stew out of it. Without any glass or metal obviously.

Anyway, I hear you. Now I know that from all I have read you are an excellent Dom(me?), Butterfly. You take your breaks whenever you need them, you communicate very well, and you care a great deal about your subs. I wish you would find someone like you in that regard.

Have you tried limiting the rules time and dom relationship right from the start? Like a week for starters, with a follow-up talk, retrospective, and definitely a little break to breath and recover. It might help potential dom candidates to reconsider and take off some pressure. You are so wonderful, Butterfly, I doubt there are many masters potentially holding up to your own level.

But I don't know. I haven't lived up to any long-lasting kinky relationship so far, neither as a sub nor on the other side.

I still wish you the best on your journey. Don't give up. You are absolutely right that the search and future result is worth the trouble.

Originally Posted by Jaro

You are not cursed Miss. You just have bad luck, and the current corona times aren't exactly helping anyone right now. Indeed you should not give up. Never give up, as there is always hope.

I hope you will find someone good because you definitely deserve it. We have been friends for 3 years now and I don't befriend people easily. You are the bestest and the sweetest and you deserve only the best!

Originally Posted by Masterwants

I think people can underestimate the pressure that being a Dom or a master can bring sometimes, especially if you care and are concerned about a sub’s well-being. Sometimes if can get overwhelming if your professional or personal life gets complicated at times, trying to juggle all the balls is hard. I also think subs have an expectation that we can’t or shouldn’t make mistakes or have off days and should always be perfect, which against brings a lot of pressure. I guess communication is key and honesty, but I can appreciate that a sub will feel abandoned when their Dom or master suddenly backs off. I think not expecting perfection might help, as well as being open about what you want or need from the relationship from the get go. Maybe it’s about cutting each other some slack now and again and not letting your emotions feel that is wrong.

Originally Posted by zephyrnem

If I have learned anything, it is that you need to limit what you want out of a master/sub relationship. Not because it cannot be perfect but because a relationship, it seems to me, an wreck things right off the back. I want my sub to start as a piece of meat to some extent. A happy piece of meat, but a plaything. Perhaps more would grow. Too much, too fast...well...as a master...I DO feel overwhelmed with emotional stuff if I am trying to learn the physical and strive to make a happy sub. As a sub? I want to be used. I don’t want emotions (you are certainly free to have any dim/sub relationship you want...I am simply putting forth a viewpoint) at the start. Those can grow later. Being a master, at least for me, is tricky, mostly at the beginning. Being friendly, and emotionally supportive cuts into that, and makes me feel like I and juggling a lot. I am very creative. I want to be a good master. To be a friend, at least to me, adds a level that is exhausting.

Just my viewpoint. I certainly hope you find what you are looking for.