The theme for this scene was, you guessed it, how my dom claimed to own my voice. I'll be perfectly blunt, don't remember this too well as it was more heat of the moment things instead of decided upon tasks to do in advance. Not to say I didn't love it, just that it's harder to remember.

It was a good thing I was home alone, since it involved a lot of embarrassing things being said over and over again.

I'm not very, er, vocal when it comes to play. I speak my mind, but moaning...

So, recently the boy toy and I have started doing a more goal oriented type of play. Instead of random rules given to me and giving me an orgasm when I'm horny, we set some kind of subject and make rules that teach/remind/show me about this subject.

We are also no longer playing everyday, which is nice and lets us focus on us. We've only done this new kind play three times and I feel like I should write reports on them, since they were amazing and I had loads of fun.

So,...

I've probably mentioned this before, but I have insomnia. Or at least, symptoms of it. A neurologist said I don't go deep enough into sleep, which is one of the reasons why I'm so tired all the time.

My mind also tends to run wild when it should be shutting down for a nice night of rest.

Sinister mentioned it in his most recent blog, that I have been taking a lot of naps, and I mean a lot. Which is rather ridiculous considering I hate taking naps, but I just can't seem...

The boy toy and I are both very interested in hypnosis, it's actually a major kink of ours. So, we've been trying it out, testing the waters, and learning a few things about how my mind works.

One thing we've learned is that it is possible for me to be put into to trance. At least, Sinister says I'm in trance. It's not that I forget, but I feel as though I might be faking it. As though I want this to work so badly that I essentially pretend to be in trance. It's very confusing.
...

So, I bite my nails. I bite them past the skin until they bleed then I bite the skin. It's not super fun and I've done it since I was a kid.

The boy toy hasn't been trying to help me break the habit (simply because I told him I wasn't going to) but he has started making me paint my nails. Usually pink, because he's a jackass.

I really like having small reminders of his dominance. Little rules that I have to do everyday just because Sinister told me to. It's fun and makes me...

This is gonna be a very rambly blog since I tend to ramble when I'm embarrassed and dear god this was mortifying.

So, a question arose in chat earlier tonight, 'What happens if you wear a diaper in the shower?'. Well, no one in chat had done it, so my lovely babysitter (Red, hi Red!) decided to volunteer me as a guinea pig. Woopee. Of course, I bitched and complained about it because that's what I do, but eventually Red laid down the law. So, I accepted, for science

And...

The worst is when the call ends. When you've got those few moments of silence right after you both exchange the 'have a great day, bye, I love you's. That is the hardest part. Even though you know you have to leave or you'll be late to class or you know he is falling asleep as you talk. Hearing that silence after static, after his breathing, after saying goodbye like it's the last time you'll ever be able to speak, it's rough.

Long distance is the worst, 0/10 would recommend. The time...