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Join the latest fashion of Promises.
Ever tried one of my fap roulettes?
Did you know about PM dares? A nice and gentle way to start playing here.
You can get a lot of PM dares by sending them in the PM dare bashing game.
A word on sexism (or two)
I like to participate in threads, people asking for dares, tasks, rules, other contributions, possibly PM dares. I like to be creative and supportive. Recently I noticed that despite others I didn't contribute to a few threads with a certain shared attribute. I feel that I need to tell you why.
I am a sexist. Admitted. Guilty. But I still hate it. I am not sure if I am in support of certain gender quotas in real life. If at all, they should be for both genders, in example 40% men and 40% women required in parliament. Even if it doesn't make sense today, but possibly it does in the future, or over different professions like nursery and education. I can also imagine them one-sided and extreme for a limited period. Imagine a 50% or 90% women quota for the military for the next two decades. That would shake things up for certain. As a big experiment, it would even prove or disprove if gender-based buddy relationships and peer groups are a factor in gender discrimination.
I think everyone has the right to define the own gender identification only. You say you are a woman so you are. Who should know better than you? You don't need even to prove this. You say you are a man? So it is.
And so do I. I identify neither as a man nor a woman. If I had to pick a gender at all, it is γamma (something for later). I have a male body as far as medicine checked it (I don't remember any hormone or chromosome test, not any organ checkup). Other people perceive me as a male (except for three special occasions in life). I can change that with effort and a lot of courage. But I prefer not to. It's trouble without reward.
So when you put up different rules for women/girls and men/boys, you are not only sexist (which I am, too), but you also put me in trouble. Shall I just pretend to identify as a girl or pretend to identify as a boy? With my openness about my physics and my chosen avatar, any of these provokes resistance to my identification. Since I am not in the mood for that all the time, it's easier for me to just drop my activity there. There's enough left for me to do and play with.
In total, it's still your choice to put up different rules for boys and girls. You are sexist then, and that's fine at all. But maybe, just maybe, you don't need to. I hope I made you at least think about it. Thank you for your attention
Quote:
If you are a woman ... Girls may ...
I think everyone has the right to define the own gender identification only. You say you are a woman so you are. Who should know better than you? You don't need even to prove this. You say you are a man? So it is.
And so do I. I identify neither as a man nor a woman. If I had to pick a gender at all, it is γamma (something for later). I have a male body as far as medicine checked it (I don't remember any hormone or chromosome test, not any organ checkup). Other people perceive me as a male (except for three special occasions in life). I can change that with effort and a lot of courage. But I prefer not to. It's trouble without reward.
So when you put up different rules for women/girls and men/boys, you are not only sexist (which I am, too), but you also put me in trouble. Shall I just pretend to identify as a girl or pretend to identify as a boy? With my openness about my physics and my chosen avatar, any of these provokes resistance to my identification. Since I am not in the mood for that all the time, it's easier for me to just drop my activity there. There's enough left for me to do and play with.
In total, it's still your choice to put up different rules for boys and girls. You are sexist then, and that's fine at all. But maybe, just maybe, you don't need to. I hope I made you at least think about it. Thank you for your attention
Total Comments 8
Comments
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That kind of gender discrimination is very common on this site, and it makes sense. As a straight guy, getting tasks/dares from girls is more of a turn on than getting the same action from guys. I can see how that causes problems for you, but people are going to continue doing it because they want to encourage girls to post.Posted 12-30-2016 at 04:16 PM by Sain 
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Yes, I know. Nevertheless, I needed to express this. Maybe I shouldn't judge heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals not too harsh on their stereotypes.
Posted 12-30-2016 at 04:52 PM by CSasha
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Thank you for posting this! It describes a lot of how I feel about gender identity/roles/etc. and why I typically try to keep most of my posts gender neutral (they/their pronouns, etc.).
It also lends to my reasoning behind why I often opt to refer to myself as a "Dom" as opposed to "Domme" (this is a recent change). I, myself, have a pretty dissociative attitude towards my own gender: I'm comfortable with my "equipment" and all, but I don't associate my gender with my "identity," if that makes sense. It's like, freckles. You don't identify someone by their freckles unless you're, like, a coroner or something. So it drives me nuts with the whole Male Dom/female sub motif that tends to present itself in the BDSM community. And I just feel like, you know, is it really difficult to write and interact without making assumptions about people's gender? I, myself, find it pretty easy, despite coming from a rather conservative background that makes a big deal about binary gender roles.
The worst thing that could possibly happen is that you learn the actual gender identity of the person you're addressing. Then what? The world explodes? Your dick shrivels and dies and you're no longer the man you thought you were? Buttrape? Nah, I don't think so!
Posted 12-30-2016 at 05:17 PM by iSpuds
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I do think some of the threads here like Boys vs Girls, Denied by girls, Denied by guys etc are a bit unfair, seeing that some people might not want to disclose or be sensitive to identifying themselves as a particular gender to participate!!Posted 12-30-2016 at 05:24 PM by nina@
Updated 12-30-2016 at 05:31 PM by nina@ -
I like your freckles example. Unfortunately, many people still apply lots of attributes to my secondary equipment, then assuming my primary equipment, and then assuming my gender based on that. Those attributes even differ from person to person. I wouldn't have any issues with gender if it wouldn't come with different expectations and associations, but I guess that's the whole point of it, especially sexually. It's the natural desire to find a suitable pickup, and you start with a potential one, isn't it?
And here's where I have to admit I made my own Boys VS Girls version. The rule, that everyone chooses which side to play for, makes me feel much more comfortable. Plus the game balances each team numbers instead of assuming a probably often but not always true assumption that there are more 'Boys' playing then 'Girls'.
That said, I don't see any problems with special offers under conditions available for everyone. So except for stating "XYZ if you are a woman or girl" how about "if you refer to yourself with female pronouns and are fine if others also do"? I would even be less offended by "if you have a vagina" as long as it's meant that honest and that person or game has no problems with men with vaginas. In the sense of "Some women have a penis. Some men have a vagina. Get along with it."Posted 12-30-2016 at 05:44 PM by CSasha
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I'm certainly down with separating gender from genitalia! If I want to give a dare or task that involves a clitoris, obviously, I'm addressing people with clitorises - regardless of gender identity. Same for people with penises. That seems like perfectly reasonable logic.
In a GvB type of thread, again, it's no business of mine if someone wants to join the "girls" squad in my thread while identifying as one of the "boys" in someone else's thread. These momentary, virtual sexual encounters don't merit "gender verification," honestly. (The thought sounds kinda Nazi-ish, actually!)Posted 12-30-2016 at 07:37 PM by iSpuds
Updated 12-30-2016 at 07:39 PM by iSpuds -
It's not like you have to be or prove gender in GvB. That would be Nazi-ish indeed...lol. Anyone can join any team they want too irrespective of anything and can change team for every game but the point is they still have to choose to join either the Girls' team or the Boys' team for that game and some might not be comfortable in joining as a girl or a boy.. So like Cass once said in her BvG analysis that we could have had a Top vs bottom.. something like that instead! Anyway's I'll stop digressing this well written blog entry of Cass with GvB talk now!Quote:Originally Posted by iSpuds
In a GvB type of thread, again, it's no business of mine if someone wants to join the "girls" squad in my thread while identifying as one of the "boys" in someone else's thread. These momentary, virtual sexual encounters don't merit "gender verification," honestly. (The thought sounds kinda Nazi-ish, actually!)Posted 12-30-2016 at 09:01 PM by nina@
Updated 12-30-2016 at 09:10 PM by nina@ -
Is it digressing though? GvB is a prime example of promoting a gender binary! I used to very much enjoy those "Farms" and "Schools" (aside from the ones that were "girls only" or "boys only") that let you pick a role (such as a type of animal or a type of student/school faculty) because those roles by their nature don't assume gender. Maybe imaginary roles (Werewolves vs. Vamps, Teachers vs. Students, Crips vs Bloods...whatever ) would make an interesting alternative.
Posted 12-31-2016 at 04:13 AM by iSpuds
