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The Kink and I
For me, music has always been the melodic background to my current life. It doesn't always stay the same, sometimes it changes more, sometimes less and sometimes it repeats itself. And sometimes there are things that need more of my attention. Sometimes i have no time to enjoy the music.
But it will always be the music that has accompanied me.
And I think that's how it is with many things in our lives. But if you want to understand a person, you can't just look at this one aspect, because then you will only see one part and not the person.Posted 06-20-2024 at 09:23 AM by Damokles -
Wow... it's been a while...
Welcome back. I am glad that things are going well.
getDare does have a unofficial discord server. If you PM me I can try to get you the info.Posted 12-19-2022 at 03:48 PM by Butterfly -
Things Are Better
Glad to hear that things are looking up. Good luck on your search for a sub and I look forward to reading more. Where in Canada are you visiting?Posted 02-23-2019 at 09:59 AM by Butterfly -
Things Are Better
Quote:After being unemployed for the better part of three years i finally found something good!
Yay!Posted 02-23-2019 at 09:27 AM by Cstelle
Updated 02-23-2019 at 09:29 AM by Cstelle -
Things Are Better
Welcome back! I'm glad to hear your life is going in a positive direction. I also love blogs, so I'm gald you'll be writing some more soon! I look forward to seeing you around!Posted 02-23-2019 at 08:57 AM by Heart -
Caring So Damn Much!
@MasterMochaelNY - It's not a problem. Perhaps the blog doesn't read as i hoped it would. But i may well come and ask a few questions as the offer has been made
@Yasna - Good way to make clear some difference between the two. Yes i do agree with you, so it's nice to see i got the right meanings across in the end.Posted 06-11-2018 at 05:21 AM by KHdominant -
Caring So Damn Much!
You say your post was a "retrospective look at a past problem"; therefore my comment might not be relevant for you any longer. I felt uneasy while reading your post because you seemed to use "caring" equivalent to "insecure". The same behaviour – e.g. checking in on somebody, asking for feedback, negotiating carefully – can be motivated by either caring or insecurity (or a mixture of both). Consequently, the same behaviour can be perceived as caring (and competent) or insecure and as attractive in a dom or not. After reading your last lines I assume you agree. I'm just writing this to make sure that you and, for that matter, everybody else who reads it, doesn't think he has to stop or reduce caring to come across as confident. On the contrary, I think caring is a very attractive quality in a dom (as is confidence).Posted 06-11-2018 at 02:12 AM by Yasna -
Caring So Damn Much!
Quote:I think i used almost these exact words myself. That yes i was trying too hard to be perfect. But that upon realising this i started working on myself and ways to avoid the same problem's in the future.
Hence why i highlighted my two most recent relationships, where i started making these changes and there was a noteable improvement in the relationship and in myself.
And it's very similar to your analogy. I put more faith in my experiences and ability to Dom, and it was better. This was more of a retrospective look at a past problem, than commenting on where i am currently.Posted 06-11-2018 at 01:12 AM by MasterMichaelNY -
Caring So Damn Much!
Quote:
Hence why i highlighted my two most recent relationships, where i started making these changes and there was a noteable improvement in the relationship and in myself.
And it's very similar to your analogy. I put more faith in my experiences and ability to Dom, and it was better. This was more of a retrospective look at a past problem, than commenting on where i am currently.Posted 06-11-2018 at 12:29 AM by KHdominant -
Caring So Damn Much!
Your trying to be too perfect, you need to rethink the relationship, I want you to think the relationship this way.
You know the girl's Likes, dislikes, and limits. Now think this way. Your on a Motorcycle, your driving, and the girl is in the back. You have full control, she's on the bike for the ride. You control the speed, and the turning, and were your going, and the dam radio too. You know she likes rock, so you put on a rock radio station for her, that you both like. In her limits, she doesn't like getting wet. So you avoid puddles. If she gets uncomfortable, she can move around back there, and shift her ass. The bike might shake, but you have the wheel and straighten it out. But if you have no confident in your riding skills, your going to scare the crap out of her.
Now how do you get confident? There is only one way, by doing it. If you try to fake it, the girl is going to know. So the best thing to do, is be truthful with the girl when you start a relationship. Tell her the truth, that she is number 3, and your experence with 1 and 2. So that way when something happens, she will be understanding.
It just like riding skill, you have to do it. You can read all the books you want, or pretend that your zooming down the road, and leaning into a turn. But once you get on a bike, and do it, it's a whole different story.
What I would recommend to boost your on-line dom confidence . Go out and do it live, as in the way of munchies, or taking classes, like rope works, or a whip class, and chat with other people, especially the subs, and slaves.
Just keep in mind, the bike. Your in charge, she in for the ride. Got any questions, hit me up thru my PM.Posted 06-10-2018 at 11:27 PM by MasterMichaelNY
Updated 06-10-2018 at 11:30 PM by MasterMichaelNY (spelling) -
Caring So Damn Much!
Quote:I find confidence sexy and it does go hand in hand with domination. However, I don't find asking questions or checking in with me a sign of weakness. I think that is a sign of strength. Some "doms" get into a mindset where they think they are a God and that they can do no wrong and they don't need to listen to anybody or ask any questions because they are THE Dom and blah blah blah ...
I do understand getting into your own head. I think Doms need reassurance too. Especially in the beginning of a relationship. When you are learning about each other there is always a lot of negotiation and correction ... I start to think that I am a bad sub when I constantly have to say No this doesn't work because ... or that is a limit because ... but those things happen. Fumbling around is a part of learning about each other. So taking time to reassure each other might not seem very Domly and sexy, but it really does make the difference.
Good luck with everything.
That feedback is important to me, especially in an online relationship. I can't always see someone to read their body language or hear
their voice. Those are major clues to how someone is doing.
And due to past mistakes i like to make sure my Sub is feeling comfortable and ok. After a while it doesn't need to be so constant as i learn someone.
Eg. my on/off relationship has almost no check-ins to see how she's doing, because i've learnt her and know she'll speak up if something is not doable or good.Posted 06-10-2018 at 10:05 AM by KHdominant -
Caring So Damn Much!
I find confidence sexy and it does go hand in hand with domination. However, I don't find asking questions or checking in with me a sign of weakness. I think that is a sign of strength. Some "doms" get into a mindset where they think they are a God and that they can do no wrong and they don't need to listen to anybody or ask any questions because they are THE Dom and blah blah blah ...
I do understand getting into your own head. I think Doms need reassurance too. Especially in the beginning of a relationship. When you are learning about each other there is always a lot of negotiation and correction ... I start to think that I am a bad sub when I constantly have to say No this doesn't work because ... or that is a limit because ... but those things happen. Fumbling around is a part of learning about each other. So taking time to reassure each other might not seem very Domly and sexy, but it really does make the difference.
Good luck with everything.Posted 06-10-2018 at 09:57 AM by Butterfly -
Best Quotes
@Jaro - Not quite the "ride" intended, but it's rather adaptable apparently
@IceMaiden - I could have quoted that whole speech because it's goddamn amazing! And i could have easily done 30 quotes just from Buffy because it's a fantastic showPosted 05-24-2018 at 11:47 AM by KHdominant -
Posted 05-24-2018 at 10:16 AM by IceMaiden -
Best Quotes
Quote:"Ride as much or as little, as long or as short as you feel. But ride!"
- Eddy MerckxPosted 05-24-2018 at 08:43 AM by Jaro -
Posted 05-19-2018 at 12:00 PM by KHdominant -
Posted 05-18-2018 at 05:16 PM by Butterfly -
Future Blog Topics
I'm going to do Quotes soon and maybe another non-kink blog in the next two weeks to get myself back into habits of writing more herePosted 05-18-2018 at 01:23 PM by KHdominant -
Posted 02-18-2018 at 03:10 AM by BlueCookies -
Titles
Indeed, titles are great but only if you are actually in a D/s relationship. I love calling my misses "Princess" and "Goddess". I personally like the classic "Mistress" too, but my misses don't which is respected of course.
Personally, I don't like any of the usual male titles: "Sir", "Master", "Daddy".... If I ever were to be a Dom (which is not very likely as I'm mainly submissive) it would be hard thinking of what I'd want my sub to call me.Posted 02-16-2018 at 08:23 PM by Jaro -
Titles
I personally do not like anybody calling me a title at all unless we have entered into a relationship of some sort. This goes for both Domme titles and sub titles.
I also will not call somebody Sir or Master without entering into a relationship. Respect is something that is earned, and those titles are something that hold a lot of respect.Posted 02-16-2018 at 06:37 PM by Butterfly -
Posted 01-29-2018 at 03:22 PM by KHdominant -
Hello Kitty
I am where you were - a kink that appears harmless but also I don't see the appeal. Thanks for this posting ... I now at least see the appeal, so thanks.Posted 01-27-2018 at 05:38 PM by subScoot -
Future Blog Topics
Pet Play blog done earlier today!
Already this list has been a massive succes in getting me to post more, yayPosted 01-26-2018 at 03:14 PM by KHdominant -
Best of 2017
I was doing this off memory (because if i couldn't remember something it couldn't be best) and Nothing Without You stood out more than Magnetised (as did Human Behavior, but not that horrible re-release of Don't Come Home). So minor mistake on my part.Posted 01-02-2018 at 09:23 AM by KHdominant