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Join the latest fashion of Promises.
Ever tried one of my fap roulettes?
Did you know about PM dares? A nice and gentle way to start playing here.
You can get a lot of PM dares by sending them in the PM dare bashing game.
Interview time: Anger
Posted 08-12-2020 at 01:30 AM by CSasha
Tags anger, assumptions, clearly a dude, dr cass, expectations
Dr Cass: *grumpily* Today in the studio ...
Anger: Woah. Where has the announcer gone? What happened?
Dr Cass: I am pissed.
Anger: Obviously. But why?
Dr Cass: Bad experience. Once again.
Anger: Tell me. Spit it out. Relief helps.
Dr Cass: I had that user yesterday, offering control over a toy of his. Bad manners. Still, I jumped on the offer. Communication delay, back and forth, it was getting late. He offered cam in addition. Then finally, he asked for cam in return. When I refused as I generally do, especially on first contact, he offended me. He said "clearly a dude".
Anger: Ah. One of those.
Dr Cass: Yeah.
Anger: Usually you notice them and they don't bother you. Not as much at least.
Dr Cass: What a waste of time! Aaaargh!
Anger: Whom are you mad at?
Dr Cass: A lot at him. But then at me.
Anger: Do you think you could have known better, or should have known better?
Dr Cass: Yes. The signs were obvious.
Anger: Like?
Dr Cass: His blunt user name. Hijacking a thread. Choice of words.
Anger: Then why did you do it?
Dr Cass: Maybe pity? And being active as in giving so everyone gets a bit more out of getDare. I just made another good experience of playing with a dear online friend here and he offered to return the favor.
Anger: Dr Cass always trying to make friends. Pity is not a good motivation though. Even that user can care for himself, don't you think?
Dr Cass: *nods*
Anger: So about that "clearly a dude" statement. I know you are not a dude. Why did it hurt so much?
Dr Cass: It was the gender issue again. I had the impression he assumed I may be a woman. Because of my user name and avatar. Many probably do, but I love both.
He didn't say he was looking for a woman. I didn't have the usual brief look at his profile which tells in one detail. So I didn't know.
He didn't even ask if I was, just bluntly assumed, and then accused. I was so angry I blocked him right away.
Anger: And of course that doesn't change anybody. But maybe it gave back a sense of protection and control.
Dr Cass: Sure it did. I feel like I could have reacted better, like I should have. Like saying something.
If he would have stated that requirement at least once, we both could have spared plenty of time. And nerves.
I never know what people expect or assume, but my experience shows me often it's a lot in regard of gender. And I hate that.
Anger: What would have liked to say instead?
Dr Cass: I would have liked to say: "You are rude. You hijack people's thread for getting attention. You ask for cam in the last moment instead of honestly stating that you require a proof in advance. You accuse instead of asking. I am a real person and hate to be disrespected like you just did. You have been a waste of time and a source of anger."
I did reply that I never stated I was anything. I didn't look at his profile but he obviously didn't do so neither. My gender entry is not "female"!
Anger: Would you behave any different next time?
Dr Cass: I would like to not go for a toy control with somebody I haven't had previous satisfying communication. Talking/chatting/texting with them is fine. Giving a dare without a proper response is way less effort and emotional for me than consenting on any kind of direct play with a new contact. Talk first, play if it fits.
Anger: Feeling better now?
Dr Cass: Yes. Time to go for you then I guess. ... Thank you, anger. You have been a great listener.
Anger: Woah. Where has the announcer gone? What happened?
Dr Cass: I am pissed.
Anger: Obviously. But why?
Dr Cass: Bad experience. Once again.
Anger: Tell me. Spit it out. Relief helps.
Dr Cass: I had that user yesterday, offering control over a toy of his. Bad manners. Still, I jumped on the offer. Communication delay, back and forth, it was getting late. He offered cam in addition. Then finally, he asked for cam in return. When I refused as I generally do, especially on first contact, he offended me. He said "clearly a dude".
Anger: Ah. One of those.
Dr Cass: Yeah.
Anger: Usually you notice them and they don't bother you. Not as much at least.
Dr Cass: What a waste of time! Aaaargh!
Anger: Whom are you mad at?
Dr Cass: A lot at him. But then at me.
Anger: Do you think you could have known better, or should have known better?
Dr Cass: Yes. The signs were obvious.
Anger: Like?
Dr Cass: His blunt user name. Hijacking a thread. Choice of words.
Anger: Then why did you do it?
Dr Cass: Maybe pity? And being active as in giving so everyone gets a bit more out of getDare. I just made another good experience of playing with a dear online friend here and he offered to return the favor.
Anger: Dr Cass always trying to make friends. Pity is not a good motivation though. Even that user can care for himself, don't you think?
Dr Cass: *nods*
Anger: So about that "clearly a dude" statement. I know you are not a dude. Why did it hurt so much?
Dr Cass: It was the gender issue again. I had the impression he assumed I may be a woman. Because of my user name and avatar. Many probably do, but I love both.
He didn't say he was looking for a woman. I didn't have the usual brief look at his profile which tells in one detail. So I didn't know.
He didn't even ask if I was, just bluntly assumed, and then accused. I was so angry I blocked him right away.
Anger: And of course that doesn't change anybody. But maybe it gave back a sense of protection and control.
Dr Cass: Sure it did. I feel like I could have reacted better, like I should have. Like saying something.
If he would have stated that requirement at least once, we both could have spared plenty of time. And nerves.
I never know what people expect or assume, but my experience shows me often it's a lot in regard of gender. And I hate that.
Anger: What would have liked to say instead?
Dr Cass: I would have liked to say: "You are rude. You hijack people's thread for getting attention. You ask for cam in the last moment instead of honestly stating that you require a proof in advance. You accuse instead of asking. I am a real person and hate to be disrespected like you just did. You have been a waste of time and a source of anger."
I did reply that I never stated I was anything. I didn't look at his profile but he obviously didn't do so neither. My gender entry is not "female"!
Anger: Would you behave any different next time?
Dr Cass: I would like to not go for a toy control with somebody I haven't had previous satisfying communication. Talking/chatting/texting with them is fine. Giving a dare without a proper response is way less effort and emotional for me than consenting on any kind of direct play with a new contact. Talk first, play if it fits.
Anger: Feeling better now?
Dr Cass: Yes. Time to go for you then I guess. ... Thank you, anger. You have been a great listener.
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