Your Thoughts on Neglect

[Komodo Jones]

For all the subs and doms out there, what are your thoughts on neglect? Is that a suitable punishment or does that cross the line into cruelty? Has anyone here ever had a situation where they either were neglected or neglected someone. I've dealt with this experience before and just want to know what other people think.

[pranadevil]

That depends on what you mean by neglect... because to me, neglect would mean you aren't looking after the well being of the sub, and are therefore not doing your duties to said sub as a dom.

However if you really mean something similar to, say, corner time where they are to sit alone and not talk to anyone, that can be a good punishment for say, a masochist who would relish the pain of a "normal" punishment.

[Komodo Jones]

In this case I mean the totally shutting down your attention/duties to either the sub or dom and not even telling them about it. In my particular case, it was a combination of neglect and empty promises.

[pranadevil]

In that case I would feel it direspectful towards the sub. At the very least the sub should know what is going on, and if there is going to be no contact for a while, there should be a reason for it, and that reason should be known so that the sub understands and learns from it.

Without knowing that the sub is supposed to be punished, the sub will not know they did wrong, and just wonder what is going on.

As a Dom I hate it when a sub just seems to vanish, even if things are not working out I would at least like to be spoken to so I understand, as I just find it disrespectful to stop talking for no reason whatsoever.

In the situation you are talking about though, I would count that as actually neglecting their duties as a Dom because they are not discussing things with the sub, and are therefore ignoring the needs of said sub.

[Anjelen]

Neglect... is simply a No. Any relationship starts with (at least )two people and needs at least that many to continue.

As a form of discipline, though, i consider it, personally, -the ultimate- punishment for any sub - though the punishment must fit the crime.

A sub who forgets his or her place will find him or herself put back in it in the swiftest way possible.
A sub who has been disobedient gets disciplined. Swats to the rear, dear!
A sub who has been disrespectful gets lines, or mantric duties.
A sub who has been inconsiderate gets a day of micro-management.
Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.

A sub who has been disinterested or plain neglectful for a prolonged period, might find her/himself at the receiving end of my neglect; and even then i will tell them up front how long i am going to be ignoring their validity of existance.

Fortunately for me, i haven't yet had to ignore anyone. I'm sure it would be less-than-fun for me, as well...

[cboy]

I'm not a fan of extended neglect (not interacting with Mistress). It kills me that I don't know when she'll be on, seldom too. But when we are having a slave session on my webcam, neglect is the best form of punishment (I absolutely hate it!). She sometimes will turn off my webcam until I complete the requisites for a task. If I'm bad or do a task poorly, she has me bow down to her for a period of time.

[Powerstrip]

I've found many potential masters/mistresses on here who have simply dissapeared. I don't see it as neglect, they just weren't commited to being a master/misstress, which I suppose is O.K. if they try it and decide it's not for them, however, a simple "sorry it's not working out" kind of message would go a long way, but to simply dissapear and never mention anything is just a pain in the bum!

As to it beign a punishment, say you ignore them for a week or something (thinking online relationships here) it is effective I think because the slave will have plenty of time to think about what they did in the first place and make sure they don't do it again as neglect time could increase for repeated offences (and if it gets to a point well that's it, you don't listen to me then no relationship here kind of thing).

[Trauma]

i feel like my mistress is neglecting me at the moment. we are currently away from each other, and she hasn't contacted me in a little while or replied to an e-mail i sent her. i don't know if i did something wrong or she is just busy. i hope she gets in contact soon, i don't want to lose her as my mistress.

[Rei515]

To me, a punishment should befit the circumstance, or the action the slave made to deserve it. If a slave isn't doing what their Owner told them to do, why should a Master/Mistress even bother paying any mind? But if the slave made a mistake such as...(random) cumming on a tuesday when You said thursday, there is no reason why the slave should be neglected. A little correction will do.

Another form of neglect, one that i've dealt with, is where my Master didn't know how to Master. i literally wound up sending Him lessons and messages on how He can be a better Owner. Why i went through that? i have no idea and it was very harmful to me. It took awhile to get out of that relationship because of the "clingyness" and also for me to get back into a slaves role and mindset.

But for a Dom or sub to completely dissapear as neglect...that is absolutely wrong. People put their hearts into relationships like these...if Y/you must end it, be fair and face Y/your problem instead of running away from it.

[Kage]

Neglection as a punishment? I feel that to play with someones emotions and mind like that is quite cruel. I would think it a better punishment to play with their bodies (not like that ).

Whenever my slave is naughty, she gets a spanking with a belt till I feel she's had enough.

[SimplySynful]

I do my best not to neglect my slaves, and do a pretty good job at not doing so. Therefore I would never use neglection as a punishment unless, I would no longer going to be their mistress. Things such as that would only occur during extreme circumstances.

Showing neglect towards your Master/Mistress is another story.

I don't feel the need the punish my slaves to harshly, if they can't get time available for us, due to things such as family matters and vacation.

On the opposing hand, if I ask a slave to meet my at a certain time, and he agrees to that time, and he is late. I do feel the need to dish out a little punishment. This could be considered minor neglect.

[MyValentine]

what does neclect / neglection means?

[Spun sugar]

I think that in order for it to be a suitable punishment the slave must know that a) they are actually being punished and b) know what the punishment is for, if a Master/Mistress just randomly started to ignore the slave I think it's a bit cruel because the slave has no idea what's going on, what they've done, or what they can do to fix it. I know that for me if I haven't gotten an email or had a session with Master in awhile I start to get anxious and upset, I can only imagine my state if Master ignored me completely.