My Suggestions Regarding Underage S/M

[jlstockton25]

This site is called getdare, meaning it's a place for dares. I think if the s/m section was exported to Kink Talk, there would still be a fair amount of interest in this site. There are plenty of sites for s/m, not so much for truth or dare. The fact that no nude pics are allowed solves a lot of the issues surrounding underage users as far as getdare as a website is concerned.

I think the method that other site uses (scanned licenses) is as good a way as any to verify ages. It should be mandatory for everyone to have their age posted, but it would be a perk to see the person you are chatting is really is who they say they are. Verified users could have a gold star next to their avatar or something, proving they are who they are they are.

[lilysmaster]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

This site is called getdare, meaning it's a place for dares. I think if the s/m section was exported to Kink Talk, there would still be a fair amount of interest in this site. There are plenty of sites for s/m, not so much for truth or dare. The fact that no nude pics are allowed solves a lot of the issues surrounding underage users as far as getdare as a website is concerned.

I think the method that other site uses (scanned licenses) is as good a way as any to verify ages. It should be mandatory for everyone to have their age posted, but it would be a perk to see the person you are chatting is really is who they say they are. Verified users could have a gold star next to their avatar or something, proving they are who they are they are.

Agreed but this is a hassle, mods would have to verify these one by one. What about those that don't have a photo id? If you don't have a licence or id card you are screwed. Plus do you really trust the mods with all your personally information? Full name, address, what you look like. I mean I would not have a tremendous issue with it, but I am sure many people would.

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

Agreed but this is a hassle, mods would have to verify these one by one. What about those that don't have a photo id? If you don't have a licence or id card you are screwed. Plus do you really trust the mods with all your personally information? Full name, address, what you look like. I mean I would not have a tremendous issue with it, but I am sure many people would.

I can't imagine it would be that big of a hassle. There are plenty of mods, and a lot of this site is under 18 so they wouldn't do this anyway. For those over 18, a lot probably wouldn't want to be bothered to do it, but I still think it should be considered for those who do. If they offer to do it, and either no one wants to so it's pointless to offer, or way too many people want to and it's impossible to maintain they could just do away with it. No harm, no foul.

I don't know a single person over 18 with no photo ID. In the States, you have to have ID to do a ton of stuff (get a job, vote etc). It would be impossible to go very long without have some form of ID. And you're not screwed if you don't have one, I didn't say make it mandatory, it would still be optional.

And to solve the issue of trust with the mods, have a box to check that states the information is not to be used for purposes other than identity verification, and any other use would be illegal.

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

This site is called getdare, meaning it's a place for dares. I think if the s/m section was exported to Kink Talk, there would still be a fair amount of interest in this site. There are plenty of sites for s/m, not so much for truth or dare. The fact that no nude pics are allowed solves a lot of the issues surrounding underage users as far as getdare as a website is concerned.

I think this is might be an idea worth consideration on its own but I wonder whether it would contribute to solving the problem at hand because I suspect that most of the activity that is causing concern occurs outside of the s/m area.

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by Invisible

I think this is might be an idea worth consideration on its own but I wonder whether it would contribute to solving the problem at hand because I suspect that most of the activity that is causing concern occurs outside of the s/m area.

Well this thread was how to solve the underage s/m problem. For that, problem solved lol.

[nellybell]

Originally Posted by lilysmaster

A small portion of the problem is people lying about their age. So where this is not the main discussion I still find it valid and adding to the conversation and agree completely.

To clarify, not to sound rude, although you are not interested in it, many many U18s are, and resort to lying about age, or just doing it. Not sure if you realized that, if you did than okay. I do understand to topic was originally about U18s that don't want it but U18s are at just as much fault for it as 18+, we should just have more common sense to not get into it.

Actually, people lying about their age is a HUGE issue now that you have to sign up as 18+. I can assume that at least half of the underagers that look at this site still sign up except now they are underage but have the 18+ title.

While the linces idea probably works wonders, it will drive people away so bad or no one will simply do it. The idea scares the shit out of me really. The mods on this site are just regular people. While I very much trust most of the mods (the ones I don't I don't know) on here, I still would feel a little wierd giveing them that much info. That idea is compounded if you are brand new on the site and don't know anyone. If you're willing to give out that much info without knowing a single thing about the person you're giving it to, you need to take a step away from the computer and think about it for a few minutes. It is pretty crazy to do.

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

I can't imagine it would be that big of a hassle. There are plenty of mods, and a lot of this site is under 18 so they wouldn't do this anyway. For those over 18, a lot probably wouldn't want to be bothered to do it, but I still think it should be considered for those who do. If they offer to do it, and either no one wants to so it's pointless to offer, or way too many people want to and it's impossible to maintain they could just do away with it. No harm, no foul.

I don't know a single person over 18 with no photo ID. In the States, you have to have ID to do a ton of stuff (get a job, vote etc). It would be impossible to go very long without have some form of ID. And you're not screwed if you don't have one, I didn't say make it mandatory, it would still be optional.

And to solve the issue of trust with the mods, have a box to check that states the information is not to be used for purposes other than identity verification, and any other use would be illegal.

Yes, not being compulsory, this would definitely have merit.

[Invisible]

I should add that ID being necessary is the same over much of the world.

[jlstockton25]

Originally Posted by nellybell

Actually, people lying about their age is a HUGE issue now that you have to sign up as 18+. I can assume that at least half of the underagers that look at this site still sign up except now they are underage but have the 18+ title.

While the linces idea probably works wonders, it will drive people away so bad or no one will simply do it. The idea scares the shit out of me really. The mods on this site are just regular people. While I very much trust most of the mods (the ones I don't I don't know) on here, I still would feel a little wierd giveing them that much info. That idea is compounded if you are brand new on the site and don't know anyone. If you're willing to give out that much info without knowing a single thing about the person you're giving it to, you need to take a step away from the computer and think about it for a few minutes. It is pretty crazy to do.

Lots of people are verified on that other site. Like I said, make a box to check that states it's only to be used to verify your identity, with legal action taken for improper use. Or, just edit out your address and last name when you scan it in. There's no reason to share that, the picture and birth date are what's important.

[Invisible]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

Well this thread was how to solve the underage s/m problem. For that, problem solved lol.

What I meant was that there is alot of s/m activity going on outside of the s/m area. So moving it wouldn't solve the problem.

[nellybell]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

Lots of people are verified on that other site. Like I said, make a box to check that states it's only to be used to verify your identity, with legal action taken for improper use. Or, just edit out your address and last name when you scan it in. There's no reason to share that, the picture and birth date are what's important.

I'm more or less talking about what will go through people's minds, or what should go through people's minds when it comes to giving out so much information.

Just because something says that they aren't going to use it doesn't always make it so. Not only could you have a creep as a mod that could use that information to stalk some poor girl, the information could probably also be stolen and sold off. I'm sure there are people out there that would be interested. You could never know that your information was used even if you did click some legal thing, can't complain if you don't know. The site could very easly be running a scam, and agian you would never know.

For those who also don't have a scaner? Can't edit it that way, maybe paint. But if you can edit things out, you can also edit things in. Someone with prety simple skills in photoshop could probably change a dtae or a picture or probably even steal a pictures of a licence offline and you could probably never be the wiser.

It's a bit of a scary idea, or at least should be for someone being asked for such info. Onto of that, there are still ways around it.

[lilysmaster]

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

I can't imagine it would be that big of a hassle. There are plenty of mods, and a lot of this site is under 18 so they wouldn't do this anyway. For those over 18, a lot probably wouldn't want to be bothered to do it, but I still think it should be considered for those who do. If they offer to do it, and either no one wants to so it's pointless to offer, or way too many people want to and it's impossible to maintain they could just do away with it. No harm, no foul.

I don't know a single person over 18 with no photo ID. In the States, you have to have ID to do a ton of stuff (get a job, vote etc). It would be impossible to go very long without have some form of ID. And you're not screwed if you don't have one, I didn't say make it mandatory, it would still be optional.

And to solve the issue of trust with the mods, have a box to check that states the information is not to be used for purposes other than identity verification, and any other use would be illegal.

Correct is is pretty much mandatory, but what you are saying would only add a "Verified" title solving little to nothing, people will still do it.

Originally Posted by jlstockton25

Well this thread was how to solve the underage s/m problem. For that, problem solved lol.

People will still do it.

Originally Posted by nellybell

Actually, people lying about their age is a HUGE issue now that you have to sign up as 18+. I can assume that at least half of the underagers that look at this site still sign up except now they are underage but have the 18+ title.

While the linces idea probably works wonders, it will drive people away so bad or no one will simply do it. The idea scares the shit out of me really. The mods on this site are just regular people. While I very much trust most of the mods (the ones I don't I don't know) on here, I still would feel a little wierd giveing them that much info. That idea is compounded if you are brand new on the site and don't know anyone. If you're willing to give out that much info without knowing a single thing about the person you're giving it to, you need to take a step away from the computer and think about it for a few minutes. It is pretty crazy to do.

I believe it is a big issue too, but did not want to make an assumption that it is. As long as I am not the only one believing it, I will stand by it. I agree if you would so readily give that info to someone, who is nothing but a normally person you need to step back and think. Now that being said the check box would kinda solve the issue by not at the same time... how can it be proven? Now if it were a professional verification site, it would cost 20 bucks a verification, that is just over the top.

Originally Posted by Invisible

What I meant was that there is alot of s/m activity going on outside of the s/m area. So moving it wouldn't solve the problem.

Yes, but as long as it is outside of getDare, getDare is no longer responsible.


In short no matter what is done there will always be a problem, maybe an idea or two will come from this thread but I foresee it being closed when it gets to the point where it is going in circles.

[Aivey]

I think we're still making too much of a big deal with this problem and that we're relying too much on the site and its moderators to keep ourselves safe. In my opinion, general safety is the site's responsibility, but for things such as ages, it really isn't this site's job to babysit us, and we should be able to use our own judgement to keep ourselves safe.

Going onto the original topic, people who do engage in underage s/m will do so no matter what. It isn't the fact that the site isn't doing enough, but more because the people themselves don't have enough sense, are too lazy, or don't care enough to verify people's ages. For the people who actually care, they'll ask "Hey, are you over eighteen?" and will also respond truthfully to such questions. However, the problem doesn't lie with the people who do care, but the people who don't. There will always be people who purposefully solicit underage users for their own sick reasons. Having the age out there really won't help at all.

As for the license thing, it probably won't work very well. For one, not everyone who is over eighteen have photo identification. Though jlstockton25 might not know anyone over 18 with no photo identification, I on the other hand, do. Though compulsatory for people who live in the states, there are many people who don't live in the states. Though I'm not 18 yet, I am American. However, the only identification I have is my passport, which I don't think is something I will willingly scan and send to a site. I won't be getting any ID cards or licenses till I get back to the states, which I won't until I'm about 19 or so. I know quite a few people in the same situation as I am, and therefore, I can safely say that not everyone over 18 has photo identification that they can give out. Second problem would be what nellybell has stated. License verification will cause people to turn away from the site. Anonymity is something that makes this site special, we get to be who we really are, and we won't have to worry about people knowing who we are. If we were to hand out identification, there's always this fear that a moderator or someone might recognize us as someone in real life, and that's quite undesireable. Finally, another problem that we'll have to deal with is fake licenses. Most of my friends back in the states have fake IDs, and it's really no big deal. If we were to be scanning IDs, it'd also be extremely easy for people to create fake information. As you can see, although these solutions might solve the current problem, but would only open up new ones. They really won't work as people will always find ways around them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't get why people are trying so hard to make the site solve all their problems. The only thing that the site needs is a single disclaimer out there stating "underage s/m is not allowed". The site shouldn't be and isn't responsible for anything that's being done behind the site's back when it comes to fake ages and such. People will always find their ways around the site's rules, and making new policies and regulations will only make the site a place filled with censorship, dictatorship and various other undersireable things within a community, and yet it still won't solve our problems. I don't see how hard it can be to use our own judgement to keep ourselves safe, which is what the site is striving for in the first place. When engaging in s/m, you can always ask how old your partner is, and use your own methods to verify their ages. People over 18 can kindly decline and report anyone under 18 who request for underage s/m things, and people under 18 can decline and report anyone who's over 18 who are requesting for s/m things. For the older people soliciting underagers, it really isn't about not knowing their age, but not caring that they're under 18. The same goes with dares. If and underage kid recieves a dare that they're uncomfortable with, they can very well state "I'm under 18", and I don't see why people can't ask for the daree's age when giving sexual dares. The site isn't omniscient and we ourselves know our own situations that we're in much better. It saddens me to see how people's own judgement and common sense have deteriorated so much to the point of relying on everyone else to keep themselves safe.

[sweetsong]

Warning: I skimmed through some of the super long posts. >.>

This is a text based site. Anyone above 13 can talk about anything they want in text. It's not "against the law."

If someone is soliciting you for images or just generally pestering you, you just report it to a mod and/or block them. Why is that hard? If you don't want to read the messages because you're irritated then just delete them without reading them and realize it's part of the territory.

I personally think the complaints that were made against the site were making a big deal out of nothing and this thread is making a big deal out of nothing, but that's just me.

[wanderlustboy32]

This entire site should just remove underage kids. It's not a good place for the ages to mingle.