I am a dictator and my law is ....

[Jaro]

I like that idea. I'll happily endorse it.

As your supreme ruler I hereby declare that you shall only be allowed to have your belly button cleaned by a professional belly button cleaner. And this belly button cleaner should be certified and be able to prove he or she has earned his degree at the National Belly Button Cleaners academy. You are never ever allowed to clean your own belly button yourself.

[iSpuds]

I'll endorse this. I rarely ever clean my belly button on purpose.

As High Imperial Overseer of All Things to be Seen Over, I decree that each yard larger than 50x55 feet must contain exactly three alpacas. At no point in time shall such a yard contain one or two alpacas, unless preceding an intended third. Four alpacas is one too many; five is right out.

[Runesmith]

As the Grand Imperial Visage of Darkness and Light, We strike down your ruling as being cruel to Alpacas - all sentient beings have a right to a foursome should they feel like it.

We hereby decree that leaving your pubic hair on the seat of a public toilet is punishable by a public pubic shaving carried out by a blind person afflicted with Parkinson's disease.

[iSpuds]

As Big Cheese of the Universal Fondue Party, I rescind that rule because...well...I don't shave and I can't say with 100% certainty that I've never done that...

And we of the Universal Fondue Party hereby decree that laxatives be tax-free. That's it. We're kinda...backed up over here.

[Runesmith]

As the All Powerful Multiplicator of the Divisive Hordes, I veto your proposal. The Universal Tax on Laxatives (commonly called "Lax Tax"), established after the bloody and brutal suppression of the heretic Universal Movement Movement, has been the prime mover of the stagnant universal commerce. I hereby appoint Sir Stefan of the Nether Lands to collect the said tax.

On a side note, I hereby prohibit the eating of ripe cheeses on Friday evenings. Limburger addicts may sniff an old sock while feasting on young Gouda.