Question for the guys....

Madame_paradox · 01-02-2012, 02:59 AM

This doesn't really qualify as a truth, so that's why it's here and not in truth.

I'm curious.

I asked my hubby to give me some ideas for me to service him using one of two positions sitting propped up or laying flat on my back. I was trying to be playful and get his creativity flowing......

He wouldn't do it. Even got mad at me. Told me I should be coming up with the ideas....

I'm tired of being the creative one, actually bored of it.

What would you guys have said in this situation? Would you have thrown some ideas out?
What ideas would you have?
Any help is appreciated

T-Moze · 01-02-2012, 08:21 AM

Laying down is so "everyday" :P Sitting up actually increases pleasure (at least for me).
A fun one is have him do handstand and try to make him cum before his arms get tired (stand close so he doesn't squirt all over the room, but rather on your breasts or something).

Madame_paradox · 01-04-2012, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Moze

Laying down is so "everyday" :P Sitting up actually increases pleasure (at least for me).
A fun one is have him do handstand and try to make him cum before his arms get tired (stand close so he doesn't squirt all over the room, but rather on your breasts or something).

I just went through abdominal surgery a month ago and still healing. I guess I should have mentioned that.

I mostly was curious about whether I was out of line asking him this......my boyfriend (I am polyamorous) said that was ridiculous that my husband was acting so silly!

T moze: very creative ideas. Thanks for your reply

Anyone else? Pretty please?

Bittenkiss · 01-24-2012, 10:58 AM

sigh. lazy lazy subs, always just lying there with an expression of "go on then, do me" on their faces like a big fat sack of spuds.

But, if you have such a relationship and he insists you come up with ideas..... do just that

and make one of them some form of public humiliation where he has to explain what you wanted anyway to someone/some forum site/etc.

Personally I'd have been annoyed as hell. The sub does what they're told or (politely) asks to be allowed off the task at hand (for whatever reason). Then you let them off, work something else in. But the sub demands and gets angry, not good.

You now need a constructive sit-down talk with hubby to see where you both think your relationship is and where it's going. If he's expecting to demand that you do all the work, you can rightly expect to be annoyed, he needs to know that and to understand that whatever dynamic you have, its not one where the sub abuses to domme (or 'tops from the bottom'). If he wants to top, let him (or get someone in to be topped).

If he can't come up with ideas, and he's anxious about that failing, then he needs to tell you as much so you can understand him. The alternative is that you'll both get disappointed and start to drift in different directions.

Feudal · 01-24-2012, 12:05 PM

Have to say I kinda agree with Bittenkiss...

The only thing I would add is to develop Bittnekiss's point about your husband maybe being scared of failing.

That sudden strong defensive outburst *might* very well hint that he has some issues regarding his creativity.

Rather than launching straight into a talking to about the role of subs etc.... another alternative might be to explore his feelings about the request and see what you find out.

Could be that you can do more to support him in his creative endeavors, maybe initially by structuring the task even more than you did, or it could be that the way you delivered the task shattered the D/s dynamic for him - i,e, did he think you were asking him take control rather than just providing ideas.

Its an interesting situation - I'd be curious to know how you resolve it.

Good luck!

01-02-2012, 02:59 AM	#1
Madame_paradox Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: utah Posts: 14 Blog Entries: 4	Question for the guys.... This doesn't really qualify as a truth, so that's why it's here and not in truth. I'm curious. I asked my hubby to give me some ideas for me to service him using one of two positions sitting propped up or laying flat on my back. I was trying to be playful and get his creativity flowing...... He wouldn't do it. Even got mad at me. Told me I should be coming up with the ideas.... I'm tired of being the creative one, actually bored of it. What would you guys have said in this situation? Would you have thrown some ideas out? What ideas would you have? Any help is appreciated

01-02-2012, 08:21 AM	#2
T-Moze Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 36	Laying down is so "everyday" :P Sitting up actually increases pleasure (at least for me). A fun one is have him do handstand and try to make him cum before his arms get tired (stand close so he doesn't squirt all over the room, but rather on your breasts or something). __________________ 22/m Likes: pee, minor/mild public, extreme outdoor with semi risk of getting caught (generally at night or semi deserted places), humiliation, pain, embarassment, excitement Dislikes: anal, friends, selfbondage (scared of not getting free) Limits: poop, edging, family, school/job (noticeable), permanent scarring, crossdressing, longer than 2 hours

01-24-2012, 12:05 PM	#5
Feudal Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: UK Posts: 129 Blog Entries: 3	Have to say I kinda agree with Bittenkiss... The only thing I would add is to develop Bittnekiss's point about your husband maybe being scared of failing. That sudden strong defensive outburst might very well hint that he has some issues regarding his creativity. Rather than launching straight into a talking to about the role of subs etc.... another alternative might be to explore his feelings about the request and see what you find out. Could be that you can do more to support him in his creative endeavors, maybe initially by structuring the task even more than you did, or it could be that the way you delivered the task shattered the D/s dynamic for him - i,e, did he think you were asking him take control rather than just providing ideas. Its an interesting situation - I'd be curious to know how you resolve it. Good luck! __________________ (D/s) - Manners, imagination, control, challenging taboos. - Rudeness & abuse of any kind. Feel free to PM me - IF you're interestING, not just if you're interestED. "There is no absolute."

01-24-2012, 10:58 AM	#4
Bittenkiss Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: UK Posts: 171	sigh. lazy lazy subs, always just lying there with an expression of "go on then, do me" on their faces like a big fat sack of spuds. But, if you have such a relationship and he insists you come up with ideas..... do just that and make one of them some form of public humiliation where he has to explain what you wanted anyway to someone/some forum site/etc. Personally I'd have been annoyed as hell. The sub does what they're told or (politely) asks to be allowed off the task at hand (for whatever reason). Then you let them off, work something else in. But the sub demands and gets angry, not good. You now need a constructive sit-down talk with hubby to see where you both think your relationship is and where it's going. If he's expecting to demand that you do all the work, you can rightly expect to be annoyed, he needs to know that and to understand that whatever dynamic you have, its not one where the sub abuses to domme (or 'tops from the bottom'). If he wants to top, let him (or get someone in to be topped). If he can't come up with ideas, and he's anxious about that failing, then he needs to tell you as much so you can understand him. The alternative is that you'll both get disappointed and start to drift in different directions.