Fiction: Chopper Down

Gamers · 06-08-2010, 08:00 PM

This is my first story so be nice! And yes, this story does have to do with TorD, although it might not be in the beggining. I will try to actually finish this story to as long as it is liked : P
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Crawling from the debree of the once was helicopter, Brandon scanned the surrounding destruction. To his left he say what use to be the cockpit, now a mess of shattered glass, mangled metal, and blood. He could just make out the outline of the slumped figure of the pilot against the smoke. Turning his head right he saw a hand sticking our of the rubble directly in front of him. Cold, unmoving against the night sky. to his right he could see the stewn bodies of his team mates, wether any of them were alive or not was past him. He could see Shawn's mangled body in the midst of a flaming pile, slowly burning away. Finally, he looked down at himself to check for any injuries. As soon as he saw his left leg, his jaw dropped open. Covered in blood with shredded pants, what he saw was horrifying. His leg was spilling blood out over the debree, but worse than that, a large gash cut deep into his leg, cutting the skin as well as the bone. Even the marrow was showing. As he started slipping into unconsiousness, he thought about the events of the night before...
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Sorry it is so short! It is getting late and i cant be up much longer.

rdcottman · 06-08-2010, 10:06 PM

no problem, this is a good story so far. please keep up the good work.

Memories for Life · 06-09-2010, 02:24 AM

Not to be nit-picking, but this preview seems a ghoulish way to lead into a ToRD story! A helicopter crash, with it's mangled burning bodies and various "debris" isn't a good lead into a fun story about truth or dare.

It's a fictional story so could you just start again with just the ToRD narration?

Cuffed · 06-09-2010, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Memories for Life

Not to be nit-picking, but this preview seems a ghoulish way to lead into a ToRD story! A helicopter crash, with it's mangled burning bodies and various "debris" isn't a good lead into a fun story about truth or dare.

It's a fictional story so could you just start again with just the ToRD narration?

Aww, leave him alone. It's about time we have some fresh stories on this site. Give him a chance you never know it might turn out to be one of the best stories on getdare. It's not like his spelling and layout is shocking either
Continue.

Memories for Life · 06-09-2010, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuffed

Aww, leave him alone. It's about time we have some fresh stories on this site. Give him a chance you never know it might turn out to be one of the best stories on getdare. It's not like his spelling and layout is shocking either
Continue.

As I watched my best friend screaming in agony as I watched him on fire while still alive, I realized I was smiling as I remembered the events of the night before...

As I looked at my body as I slid feet first into the wood chipper, my mind wandered to the fun time the night before....

As I slowly felt my skin melting from my body while sitting in the maniac's box of battery acid, I was able to see and hear my girlfriend's agony as her limbs were slowly torn from her body, I thought back gleefully to our fun time the night before....

Dicedarefan666 · 06-09-2010, 04:11 AM

He's not saying he's happy about the night before, and honestly, there are tons of cliché stories about happy go lucky TorD games, go read one of them, I want to read something interesting, so I'll watch this thread.

Memories for Life · 06-09-2010, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dicedarefan666

He's not saying he's happy about the night before, and honestly, there are tons of cliché stories about happy go lucky TorD games, go read one of them, I want to read something interesting, so I'll watch this thread.

Truth or Dare is originally a fun game played during gathering of friends. A story about playing a particular game will normally begin with how those involved came to know each other. This isn't a cliché, this a common prelude to introduce the reader to the characters of the upcoming story.

After reading an excerpt from a destructive helicopter crash in which his copilot is dead and the protagonist is bleeding to death himself, I would expect to look forward to reading further chapters of the events that lead to this crash. This is an excellent premise to a promising drama story but I would think it's completely out-of-place for this forum!

Gamers · 06-09-2010, 06:46 AM

It's not what you think it is Memories, and not every game of TorD ends well.

I'll try to do more in a bit : )

Memories for Life · 06-09-2010, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gamers

It's not what you think it is Memories, and not every game of TorD ends well.

I'll try to do more in a bit : )

I, personally, have never played a game of Truth or Dare where any participant was permanently injured or disfigured. There were lots of embarrassing situations at even the most extreme game but they "ended well"!

Please don't tell me the dare was to purposely crash your helicopter and hope you survive!

Gamers · 06-09-2010, 07:19 AM

I had the story planned out but I'll see what I can do to make it better for you Memories.
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* flashback to the night before *
Brandon had always been a good guy. Straight in the head, focused, and never went to far. But that night, the worste night possible, he lost control.

With the music from Michael's Ipod blasting, they all jammed in the humvee duringthe ride back to base. It was a day like usual, they were just sent out to do a perimeter check. Nothing much ever happened there. When they were almost to the stopping point Shawn spoke up.
"Hey, it's my birthday today, and our shift us almost up to! Know what this calls for!? A celebration!" Everybody chuckled, something about Shawn made them do so whenever he got excited. But with the combination of the two facts, a celebration was impossible to avoid.
"Huh, I guess we could do that. We ain't doin nothin tomorrow", Josh, the super tuff guy wanna be, replied finally.
"Great! I have a suprose for you guys when we do it to!"
No sooner had he said this than the humvee came to a stop and he jumped out ans walked away. Leaving the team wondering what the suprose was.

marlow · 06-09-2010, 09:20 AM

Carry on gamers and ignore the people trying to do you down. Its all good stuff - we now want to see the connection between the story and the flashback so u have got our interest. just do your own thing!

marlow · 06-11-2010, 07:46 PM

we want moire Gamers!!! Plz? Its good so far but plz do the next chapter!! We are waiting in suspense and in a state of being turned on! LOL

Gamers · 06-14-2010, 08:18 AM

Brandon was revived by the loud noise all around him. It took him a moment before he realized that he was being dragged by his backpack and that his leg had also been wrapped. He struggled to get his head around to look at his captor but could see nothing. He was as helpless as a fly in a web. His injured leg hit a bump and he yelped loudly. His captive stopped and looked back at him.
"Ahh, so you have finaly decided to join the living, have you? I thought I had lost you there for a bit." He had a heavy accent that Brandon could not place. As he spoke he hoisted him up so he could walk himself. Brandon turned to look at his captor as they walked. He had a yellow and red armored suit aposed to his own black suit. He recognized the colors but could not remeber what they were.
He gad no clue were they were going and did nor care either. Hecwas happy to be alive for the moment. Finally they reached their checkpoint and they stopped. Brandon instantly knew were he was. But before he could say it a rifle butt slammed into his head, sending him bak into the well of memories. The last thing he thought before he blacked out was the uniform color of his captors. He had been captured by the SkULLEN!

Memories for Life · 06-14-2010, 01:57 PM

No.Sixteen Characters

Gamers · 06-18-2010, 10:43 PM

Security with items coming into or out of outpost 13, so it was not suprising that Shawn was able to get hold of sone beer, which none of them had had in a long time. Brandon, the rest of the team, and a couple gals from some other teams showed up. Each of them sat, stood, or laid around, each with a beer in hand, and enjoyed themselves. As the night progresssed people started getting board, but also drinking alot more. As the night progressed Brandon started wondering about the surprise. Finally he spoke up and asked Shawn about it, who smiled for aimute before answering.
"Well as ye can see, I made sure we had at least a couple of chicks over 'ere. Reason being is I knew we would get bored later," he finished the statement after with a mischievious smile, "so I planed a little game."

06-08-2010, 08:00 PM	#1
Gamers Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 40	Chopper Down This is my first story so be nice! And yes, this story does have to do with TorD, although it might not be in the beggining. I will try to actually finish this story to as long as it is liked : P -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crawling from the debree of the once was helicopter, Brandon scanned the surrounding destruction. To his left he say what use to be the cockpit, now a mess of shattered glass, mangled metal, and blood. He could just make out the outline of the slumped figure of the pilot against the smoke. Turning his head right he saw a hand sticking our of the rubble directly in front of him. Cold, unmoving against the night sky. to his right he could see the stewn bodies of his team mates, wether any of them were alive or not was past him. He could see Shawn's mangled body in the midst of a flaming pile, slowly burning away. Finally, he looked down at himself to check for any injuries. As soon as he saw his left leg, his jaw dropped open. Covered in blood with shredded pants, what he saw was horrifying. His leg was spilling blood out over the debree, but worse than that, a large gash cut deep into his leg, cutting the skin as well as the bone. Even the marrow was showing. As he started slipping into unconsiousness, he thought about the events of the night before... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry it is so short! It is getting late and i cant be up much longer.

06-09-2010, 04:11 AM	#6
Dicedarefan666 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 403	He's not saying he's happy about the night before, and honestly, there are tons of cliché stories about happy go lucky TorD games, go read one of them, I want to read something interesting, so I'll watch this thread. __________________ Likes: Light to moderate pain - Giving dares - Asking questions Dislikes: Hard pain - Jacking off - Semi-public - Wedgies Hates: Extreme pain - Urine - Full Public - Involving other people Limits (Will never do these) Permanent damage - Involving Family - Scat - Involving Animals - Crossdressing - Eating Gross stuff

06-09-2010, 07:19 AM	#10
Gamers Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 40	Chopper down I had the story planned out but I'll see what I can do to make it better for you Memories. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- * flashback to the night before * Brandon had always been a good guy. Straight in the head, focused, and never went to far. But that night, the worste night possible, he lost control. With the music from Michael's Ipod blasting, they all jammed in the humvee duringthe ride back to base. It was a day like usual, they were just sent out to do a perimeter check. Nothing much ever happened there. When they were almost to the stopping point Shawn spoke up. "Hey, it's my birthday today, and our shift us almost up to! Know what this calls for!? A celebration!" Everybody chuckled, something about Shawn made them do so whenever he got excited. But with the combination of the two facts, a celebration was impossible to avoid. "Huh, I guess we could do that. We ain't doin nothin tomorrow", Josh, the super tuff guy wanna be, replied finally. "Great! I have a suprose for you guys when we do it to!" No sooner had he said this than the humvee came to a stop and he jumped out ans walked away. Leaving the team wondering what the suprose was.

06-14-2010, 08:18 AM	#13
Gamers Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 40	Chopper down Brandon was revived by the loud noise all around him. It took him a moment before he realized that he was being dragged by his backpack and that his leg had also been wrapped. He struggled to get his head around to look at his captor but could see nothing. He was as helpless as a fly in a web. His injured leg hit a bump and he yelped loudly. His captive stopped and looked back at him. "Ahh, so you have finaly decided to join the living, have you? I thought I had lost you there for a bit." He had a heavy accent that Brandon could not place. As he spoke he hoisted him up so he could walk himself. Brandon turned to look at his captor as they walked. He had a yellow and red armored suit aposed to his own black suit. He recognized the colors but could not remeber what they were. He gad no clue were they were going and did nor care either. Hecwas happy to be alive for the moment. Finally they reached their checkpoint and they stopped. Brandon instantly knew were he was. But before he could say it a rifle butt slammed into his head, sending him bak into the well of memories. The last thing he thought before he blacked out was the uniform color of his captors. He had been captured by the SkULLEN!

06-14-2010, 01:57 PM	#14
Memories for Life getDare Devil Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 1,012	No.Sixteen Characters Last edited by Dare861; 07-07-2010 at 12:55 PM.

06-08-2010, 10:06 PM	#2
rdcottman Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: soon to be San Francisco Posts: 140	no problem, this is a good story so far. please keep up the good work.

06-09-2010, 02:24 AM	#3
Memories for Life getDare Devil Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 1,012	Not to be nit-picking, but this preview seems a ghoulish way to lead into a ToRD story! A helicopter crash, with it's mangled burning bodies and various "debris" isn't a good lead into a fun story about truth or dare. It's a fictional story so could you just start again with just the ToRD narration?

06-09-2010, 06:46 AM	#8
Gamers Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 40	It's not what you think it is Memories, and not every game of TorD ends well. I'll try to do more in a bit : )

06-09-2010, 09:20 AM	#11
marlow Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK near London Posts: 32	Carry on gamers and ignore the people trying to do you down. Its all good stuff - we now want to see the connection between the story and the flashback so u have got our interest. just do your own thing!

06-11-2010, 07:46 PM	#12
marlow Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK near London Posts: 32	we want moire Gamers!!! Plz? Its good so far but plz do the next chapter!! We are waiting in suspense and in a state of being turned on! LOL

06-18-2010, 10:43 PM	#15
Gamers Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: U.S. Posts: 40	Chopper Down Security with items coming into or out of outpost 13, so it was not suprising that Shawn was able to get hold of sone beer, which none of them had had in a long time. Brandon, the rest of the team, and a couple gals from some other teams showed up. Each of them sat, stood, or laid around, each with a beer in hand, and enjoyed themselves. As the night progresssed people started getting board, but also drinking alot more. As the night progressed Brandon started wondering about the surprise. Finally he spoke up and asked Shawn about it, who smiled for aimute before answering. "Well as ye can see, I made sure we had at least a couple of chicks over 'ere. Reason being is I knew we would get bored later," he finished the statement after with a mischievious smile, "so I planed a little game."