What defines a good master from a mediocre or bad one?

Dom Male · 10-03-2016, 12:51 AM

The question is exactly like the title says.

What do you feel makes a good master?

Is it one who demands your submission, or is it one who accepts your submission as a gift?

Does a good master punish harshly, or fitting the circumstances of the disobedience?

Does a good master build you up to knock you down?

cooperjess · 10-03-2016, 03:07 AM

I think that since people differ so much in their kinks, it's important that a dom and a sub can line up in what they want out of the relationship. A really harsh master might be what someone craves and plays off of, but might be too much for another.

Again, some people are more into a caring master sort of vibe, where others are drawn more to the humiliation and rough treatment.

So I think whilst everyone has their specific kinks, a good master is probably flexible enough to try out different approaches and find out what works best for the both of them.

IceMaiden · 10-03-2016, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dom Male

The question is exactly like the title says.

What do you feel makes a good master?

Communication. Trust. Flexibility. Honesty. Being willing to listen to their sub/slave. Knowing when to push and when to stop pushing.

Is it one who demands your submission, or is it one who accepts your submission as a gift?

Accepts as a gift. Submission is earned, not taken and anyone that has tried to demand it from me has recieved a mouthful about respect and protocol. Being a sub/slave does not make you everyone's sub/slave. (Unless you both want that and it's agreed, of course.)

Does a good master punish harshly, or fitting the circumstances of the disobedience?

Fit the crime, however it could still be harsh as well. It depends on what severity is needed and why.

Does a good master build you up to knock you down?

No. Why would you want to break down what you're supposed to love, protect and treasure?

LitDarkness · 10-03-2016, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dom Male

The question is exactly like the title says.

What do you feel makes a good master?

A good Master is a Master who you can trust, rely on, and you know will be there for you.

Is it one who demands your submission, or is it one who accepts your submission as a gift?

Accepts as a gift. The reason is, it is a gift which can be retracted at any time. Demanding gets you nowhere.

Does a good master punish harshly, or fitting the circumstances of the disobedience?

Depends. It really is what they feel is best. Yeah, the punishment should fit the crime but it may need to be harsh too. Depends on what is best for the sub.

Does a good master build you up to knock you down?

Build you up, there is no reason to knock you down.

SluttyPig · 10-03-2016, 07:13 PM

This varies from person to person... how can you define a good Master?

The only thing I have to say is that a bad Master is someone who is abusive/non consensual.

There's no such thing as a mediocre master... it's a learning process for everyone.

Daddydamo · 10-03-2016, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dom Male

The question is exactly like the title says.

What do you feel makes a good master?

One who listens, learns and guides his sub

Is it one who demands your submission, or is it one who accepts your submission as a gift?

Any Dom who demands submission simply doesn't understand the true beauty of the gift of submission. In my view to demand submission is tantamount to a form of rape an abhorrent crime !

Does a good master punish harshly, or fitting the circumstances of the disobedience?

Fitting the circumstances. A good Dom guides, teaches and mentors also, so often punishment can be as simple as displeasure depending on the subs psyche

Does a good master build you up to knock you down?

A good Dom will always build his sub up. After all it's the Doms job to help his sub to grow and develop, which if you think about it, should develop her into the sub he wants as well as the sub she wants to be

iSpuds · 10-04-2016, 06:42 PM

First, let's start with the fact that it's my belief that the title "Master," in the context of BDSM, is something that is earned through years of experience and/or mentoring wherein one is exposed to the various theories and methods associated with BDSM. With no mastery, there is no master.

Within a relationship, a sub may desire and choose to call their partner their "Master," and that is very much their prerogative, but it doesn't necessarily make that person a Master any more than naming your daughter "Apple" makes her a fruit.

That being said...I believe what makes a good master starts with what I believe makes a good person. Communicative, attentive, critically thinking, and patient are good traits to start with. From there, we can identify a plethora of traits that could all amount to a good Master-slave relationship, depending on the needs of the slave in question.

A desire to take leadership and responsibility for oneself and one's relationship is key in identifying a Dom-type (and later, a master), though secondary to the aforementioned traits when identifying a good Dom (i.e. wanting to Dom doesn't make you a good Dom - you have to work at it).

Mastery of the skills, theories, and techniques relating to BDSM play; an intimate understanding of and relationship with one's own sexual identity; an overall equilibrium within oneself that brings stability to one's goals and social environment; the experience and interpersonal skill required to guide and "mold" a fully grown adult; these are just a few of the qualities found in a good Master.

In short, the qualities of a good Master cannot be summed up in a few two-dimensional this-or-that Q&A's. It's a lot deeper than that.

Puppy boy · 10-04-2016, 09:17 PM

a Good or mediocre master can be explain in various ways and its all how you look at it. Most people just see as a position of authority over another being or multiple beings. Others see it as an Honor to be ones master such as Master of a Trade ( IE Martial Arts but not the topic ). I Simply see it As Someone who knows what they want, when they want it, how they want it without regards of what the obstacles are because they have the willpower to get what they want, one way or another.

iSpuds · 10-05-2016, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puppy boy

a Good or mediocre master can be explain in various ways and its all how you look at it. Most people just see as a position of authority over another being or multiple beings. Others see it as an Honor to be ones master such as Master of a Trade ( IE Martial Arts but not the topic ). I Simply see it As Someone who knows what they want, when they want it, how they want it without regards of what the obstacles are because they have the willpower to get what they want, one way or another.

Okay but a rapist could be defined by the very same words and I don't consider a rapist to be good Master material. :P

Puppy boy · 10-06-2016, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iSpuds

Okay but a rapist could be defined by the very same words and I don't consider a rapist to be good Master material. :P

Well Rape is Illegal so therefor If Illegal stuff is a Limit for you which it should be for 99% of people they wouldn't be a good master if they don't respect the other. That make it better? :P

Dom Male · 10-10-2016, 11:26 PM

Thanks everyone for the replies.

The reason for asking the question was to show that people can have a range of views, none which are more right or wrong than yours.

Let us all enjoy each others quirks and just because your Kink isn't mine doesn't make you wrong.

10-03-2016, 12:51 AM	#1
Dom Male Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 111	What defines a good master from a mediocre or bad one? The question is exactly like the title says. What do you feel makes a good master? Is it one who demands your submission, or is it one who accepts your submission as a gift? Does a good master punish harshly, or fitting the circumstances of the disobedience? Does a good master build you up to knock you down? __________________ I am a dom who trains subs for service. I am reasonably easy going as a master, but when I punish you will know it. Likes most things Hard Limits: Public, Cam, Pics, Poo, shaving, cum eating. These are a work in progress and may be subject to change.

10-03-2016, 03:07 AM	#2
cooperjess Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: UK Posts: 202 Blog Entries: 2	I think that since people differ so much in their kinks, it's important that a dom and a sub can line up in what they want out of the relationship. A really harsh master might be what someone craves and plays off of, but might be too much for another. Again, some people are more into a caring master sort of vibe, where others are drawn more to the humiliation and rough treatment. So I think whilst everyone has their specific kinks, a good master is probably flexible enough to try out different approaches and find out what works best for the both of them. __________________ Jess \| 22 \| Bi AMAB. back after a long hiatus, active occasionally(?) - msg me, if you like

10-03-2016, 07:13 PM	#5
SluttyPig getDare Sweetheart Join Date: May 2016 Location: America Posts: 288 Blog Entries: 7	This varies from person to person... how can you define a good Master? The only thing I have to say is that a bad Master is someone who is abusive/non consensual. There's no such thing as a mediocre master... it's a learning process for everyone. __________________ Likes: humiliation, pain, orgasm denial, icy hot (mmm..) and degradation. Limits: family, scat, needles, permanent, restrictive bondage, pictures, illegal, or unsafe. My AMA with my Wolf82!

10-04-2016, 06:42 PM	#7
iSpuds Starchy Sadist Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 921 Blog Entries: 43	First, let's start with the fact that it's my belief that the title "Master," in the context of BDSM, is something that is earned through years of experience and/or mentoring wherein one is exposed to the various theories and methods associated with BDSM. With no mastery, there is no master. Within a relationship, a sub may desire and choose to call their partner their "Master," and that is very much their prerogative, but it doesn't necessarily make that person a Master any more than naming your daughter "Apple" makes her a fruit. That being said...I believe what makes a good master starts with what I believe makes a good person. Communicative, attentive, critically thinking, and patient are good traits to start with. From there, we can identify a plethora of traits that could all amount to a good Master-slave relationship, depending on the needs of the slave in question. A desire to take leadership and responsibility for oneself and one's relationship is key in identifying a Dom-type (and later, a master), though secondary to the aforementioned traits when identifying a good Dom (i.e. wanting to Dom doesn't make you a good Dom - you have to work at it). Mastery of the skills, theories, and techniques relating to BDSM play; an intimate understanding of and relationship with one's own sexual identity; an overall equilibrium within oneself that brings stability to one's goals and social environment; the experience and interpersonal skill required to guide and "mold" a fully grown adult; these are just a few of the qualities found in a good Master. In short, the qualities of a good Master cannot be summed up in a few two-dimensional this-or-that Q&A's. It's a lot deeper than that. __________________ No, I do not want to be your Mistress. No, I do not want to be your slave. So don't PM me about it! Likes, Limits, and Fantasies (click) A Domme with a Monkey. The Monkey, the Potato, and the Book of Truth (AMA) My PM Dares are Offline. I don't participate in unsolicited PM dares, so don't ask. "iSpuds used to be an onion before she realized that she wanted a simpler, layer free life. Gordon Ramsey himself agreed to perform the surgery, but when Nigella Lawson walked in during the middle of the procedure with a bottle of scotch, things went awry. Waking up as an iOS kernel trapped in a potato's body, iSpuds successfully sued the Food Channel for 13 quintillion Zimbabwe Shillings, and now lives in an exclusive, nano-sliver coated vegetable crisper." *-Runesmith* "On a scale of 1-10, what's your favorite color of the Alphabet?" "Prismarine!"

10-04-2016, 09:17 PM	#8
Puppy boy Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: United States Posts: 163 Blog Entries: 5	a Good or mediocre master can be explain in various ways and its all how you look at it. Most people just see as a position of authority over another being or multiple beings. Others see it as an Honor to be ones master such as Master of a Trade ( IE Martial Arts but not the topic ). I Simply see it As Someone who knows what they want, when they want it, how they want it without regards of what the obstacles are because they have the willpower to get what they want, one way or another. __________________ 21/M/ kik - Jaypup2k1 My Likes/Limits/Dislikes PM dares - Will Exchange a Task for a PM dare.. My Toys and Stuff. Please Use these to aid you in dares

10-10-2016, 11:26 PM	#11
Dom Male Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 111	Making my point Thanks everyone for the replies. The reason for asking the question was to show that people can have a range of views, none which are more right or wrong than yours. Let us all enjoy each others quirks and just because your Kink isn't mine doesn't make you wrong. __________________ I am a dom who trains subs for service. I am reasonably easy going as a master, but when I punish you will know it. Likes most things Hard Limits: Public, Cam, Pics, Poo, shaving, cum eating. These are a work in progress and may be subject to change.