The corrupted wish game.

[sir stefan]

Granted,
They all think you are a real nice lady, they think you are smart and want to be your friend. You start blushing and don't know what to say and get fired.

I wish my jetlag would not wake me up so early

[Runesmith]

Granted. Instead the jet lag wakes you up very late ever day. Day 1 - your boss is concerned and asks you to take a rest. day 2 - your boss is not looking happy. Day 3 - he is definitely pissed. Day 4 - you are fired.

I wish Trump would have a nervous breakdown and run naked and screaming across the white house lawn just before he gets sworn in.

[Wolf007]

Granted, but it gets out of control pretty soon. You can't shut down their voices in your head and develop chronic insomnia. After a while you're just a shadow of the person you once were. Ultimately you just can't take it anymore and you decide to join a mental institution...they can do no more than drug you severely for the rest of your life.
You still know exactly what every customer in the world wants though.



I wish every good-looking women in the world would be really attracted to me...

[Wolf007]

Goddamn, i don't know how, but it happened.

No worries, Runesmith:


Granted, after he gets sworn in, the insanity continues...Trump decides to nuke Germany because he feels there are too many butterflies flying around during the summertime. You are one of the first people to die from nuclear fallout...


I still wish all the beautiful woman of the world would find me very attractive...

[Runesmith]

Granted. They find you very attractive. In fact, they find you so attractive, that they start having doubts about their own attractiveness. They think they are not worthy of you at all. With their self-esteem crushed, they turn to the man they find least attractive - me, for nights of meaningless, submissive sex to prove to themselves that someone still finds them attractive.

I wish we could solve global warming but still enjoy mild winters.

[Wolf007]

Granted! And as the mild winters continue, the insects are able to reproduce and mutate the whole year round. This is how the flies rapidly evolve into a flesh eating breed of killers who prefer to feed on soft human tissue.

And so, on this mild winter morning, you wake up with an itch in your throat...that's the moment you realize you're being eaten from the inside out...


I wish i had two female slaves at my permanent disposal who would willingly agree with everything i tell them.

[Runesmith]

Granted. They always agree with you, but they never do anything correctly. They burn your shirts when they iron, destroy your vacuum cleaner trying to vacuum the water out of the kitchen they flooded trying to cook... And finally, managed to slit your throat trying to shave you.

I wish I had enough free time to use up my vacation entitlement this year.

[Wolf007]

Granted! You decide to take advantage of your vacation to reload your batteries, so you leave on a last-minute trip to China . (you've taken a real interest in the national cuisine such as fried monkey and toasted rat)

While walking around the local prostitution neighborhood, you accidentally step on the toes of local mob boss Takanagi. You immediately apologize but because of your mediocre knowledge of the Chinese language, you insult him deeply.

Things go really from bad to worse when you start bowing without keeping your head lower than his...

No one has ever heard from you again since that day.



I wish to win the lottery with a minimum amount of 100 000 000 €...i'll accept dollars too though.

[Runesmith]

Granted. However, the winning stub for Euro Jackpot is in your pants pocket, and your disobedient slaves decide to wash the pants. You hold the soggy bits of paper in your hand and weep.

I wish that I would be powerful enough to fear assasination instead of mere murder.

PS: Takanagi is a Japanese name. There are no red light districts in China (the communist party doesn't approve of prostitution businesses - only "sauna clubs"). Chinese do not bow.

[sir stefan]

Granted, you fear assisination and take precautions. Unfortunately you get randomly murdered by pure bad luck in some pub.

I wish i would not be so tired at a friday evening

[Hammarling]

Granted. No longer are you tired on a Friday night. However you are no longer able to sleep, ever! Enjoy your waking nightmare as your body slowly fails to cope with the unending consiousness....

I wish i could finish writing this short story

[Runesmith]

Granted. Your hands take on a life of their own, and tap out the story at blurring speed. The unnaturally rapid movement wear down your finger joints leaving your hands crippled for life. The short story is terrible, and uses the word "moist" 17 times in one paragraph. The critics tear you apart. Both Tic Tacs and Donald Trump sue you simultaneously for libel, bankrupting you. But yeah, the story is done

I wish it will be sunny and warm tomorrow in Baden-Wuerttemberg.

[Wolf007]

Granted. It didn't take much of an effort by the way since apparently "the (almost) allways sunny" weather is allmost a guarantee over there.

Because of the obvious warm and sunny weather in Baden-Wuerttemberg,
you end the day with a hike at the black forest. After about 5 kilometers, you find yourself completely lost. (you should have stayed on the path, but...)

Suddenly your environment turns upside-down and you get launched in a tree by your leg. You just stepped in a hidden trap, intended for the bear who was spotted last week (yes, after many years). Luckily there's no sign of this flesh-hungry animal, so you start screaming. Unfortunately this attracts the several wild boar packs who are on the hunt for food.

When the arrive, you laugh at them because they can't reach you up there, hanging in the tree. Too bad you don't pay attention to the squirrels who are biting the rope...


I wish next week is less boring than last week.



Ps: thanks for pointing out my major China-Japan mix up! At least you DID eat some monkey while in China.

[Runesmith]

Granted. Next week, while Obama is in Peru, Trump takes over the White House in a coup, as he is impatient to take over power, and orders the air force to shoot down Air Force One as it enters US air space. Taking advantage of the confusion, Kim Jong Un launches a cross border invasion of South Korea. Mistakenly thinking that Tokyo is the capital of North Korea (and insisting he knows better than the generals) Trump orders full scale nuclear retaliation. As Japan is nuked for the third time by the Americans, Godzilla finally wakes up and lays waste to the West coast. Putin annexes the Baltics. Oh, and a micro black hole crashes in to the sun, unleashing an X8 class solar flare right at Earth, completely frying it. Exciting stuff, huh?

I wish I could get a massage today. My shoulders are killing me.

PS: nice research on that previous wish. Although, don't be misled by what the Baden-Wuerttemberg tourist bureau posts on their website - those bastards lie. Why do you think this region has the highest number of inventors in the world? Because people have nothing else to do while sitting at home because of the rain or wind or snow. I mean, why else would someone come up with the idea for a cuckoo clock or a match stick, for instance, let alone those abominations called automobiles?

[hornyyoungslut]

Granted but the masseuse was quite inexperienced so she dislocated both shoulders in the process.

I wish I has more Jamaician beef patties.