Disappointed

[Link1]

I doubt anyone really cares on this site about this, and I feel like there's probably a chance that this post would be trashed. Either way, I feel like I've been getting more and more disappointed with this site.

And of course, the first thing anyone could say is, if you don't like it then leave! But I just figured I'd express my feelings before I did so.

When I first stumbled onto this site it looked very interesting and very alive. I've never been very into forums, but this looked different. I learned soon though that it was still a forum. I almost wish it was different. I feel like posts should be able to be deleted and you should be able to rate threads or something. Actually, you can rate can't you? If so, why can't you sort by highest rated? or other sorting methods.. they just would make things a lot better. And if you CAN do that then I'm missing something.

But that doesn't even really matter. That could just improve the site a little. But that's no reason to be annoyed. I became much more discouraged when I started to feel the different types of groups on getdare and how I was practically the bottom of the food chain. I had tried to use the ad system to find a mistress and realized quickly that it was hopeless. Even after being complimented on my second ad a few times, nothing happened. So I became annoyed because I realized that as a straight male, being on this site was going to be.. a bit worse. And of course the usual system of male sub, male dom, female sub, female dom. Lowest to highest demand. I felt pathetic.

But even worse then that. (that can't be helped can it?) I feel like there is.. pretty much a mod clique. All the mods and their best buds. They support each other and let them stand high and mighty over everyone else. And I'm not saying that these people aren't good posters or whatever. I'm sure they work hard. I just feel like the interaction between a mod or mod friend and myself or some other common member is like talking to royalty. You're being looked down on constantly on this site. And everyone loves grammar and well put together ideas. But I'm not really a writer. and so, I get looked down on because of that. cool? And then there's the Elite Member area. As if I didn't feel low enough. There's a constant reminder!

Like.. everything in this whole forum is a bunch of stuff either trying to please the people and earn favor for good posts, or please the mods with that, or please the girls because you're horny. Being who I am is useless on this site. (male, switch, taken. Not that I can't post my own amazing thoughts, but it's not going to get me far) XD

I don't know. Maybe it's just me who feels that way. I feel like considering the nature of this site. (sex, masturbation, scat??) anything should be ok. But one of my last posts got closed without an explanation. Clearly I was being too aggressive or SOMEthing. To me I felt like I was just trying to defend myself when someone directed something TO me. I certainly didn't feel like I was spamming or being offensive though. If anything I was feeling more hurt. But then the thread closed. Leaving me with little resolution! :3

Got a little off-topic there though. (as if someone isn't going to trash this though. If the mods don't like it, it gets trashed right? freedom of speech ftw) I can't really get every idea out. I'm just really not happy with this site anymore. It's been going downhill. I don't like the mods being so high and mighty. I don't like a lot of the people who seem like creeps or liars or whatever they may be. I don't like being pushed into that SAME group as all the general public on this site since no one cares about them. But I don't really feel like playing the game of "kiss up to the mod"

And really, I feel like on a perfect site, the mods are invisible. They ARE the site. They delete a post and send you a message about how the site doesn't like that. But with this site everything is on a personal level. It hurts. I hate when mods trash a post and are like.. TRASHED at the end of it. It's so in your face.. it just seems douchey. really.. posts that are trashed should just be.. gone.


but.. enough of my unorganized rambling. If anyone took the time to really read all of this it would probably be someone who either agrees with me somehow or someone who is active on the site. I have such a strong feeling that this will be TRASHED. Because that's just what this site seems to do in this sort of situation. I don't really feel like I'm breaking the rules though so if this is trashed someone should tell me exactly what I did to break the rules that are posted on the site. I'm certainly not yelling at any person. I only am talking about the site in general or the mods in general. But as people, I'm sure you're all very nice. This is just one person's point of view I guess. maybe it'll be helpful. >_>

[erick92]

As with all communities you tend to get cliques. If you feel like a mod is in a specific clique, that may not actually be the case. Think of it as a school. You have the geeky kids trying to suck up to the cool kids. When you see that person sucking up to the cool kids, you may think "Hey, that guy is cool, because he's talking to the cool kids!".

Social ladders happen in any community. You just need to try to find your place. I knew quite a few amazing people on this site before I started going more inactive. Although, I'm sure if you look around you can make some very close ties with people and actually enjoy yourself. Believe it or not, I found my girlfriend of 2 years on this site.

As for the elite members area, it's probably not as glorious as you think. Only a small percentage actually get in, and those people come and go as time passes by.

With the post trashing, I have to agree on that. It can get a little sickening, and almost looks childish at times, when the same old posts just go to rot in the same place. All it does is make the person that posted feel bad and ends up giving them a forever bad rep as the post just chills for the rest of the life of getDare. But I digress.

And, lastly, never suck up to a mod. I highly doubt it would get you or anyone very far, no matter how much it seems like. The mods are always there for you when you need their help with something, and you are always able to find some one that is glad and willing to help you no matter what.

Anyways, I hope you find your place. Wether it be on this site or somewhere else. Just know there is always going to be some one that enjoys similar things as you.

P.S.: I can never find a good female dom either. Meh.

[Slenderman - Doctor]

OP, you do have some good points, you know. I, too, dislike some of the ways things happen, such as "TRASHED" sometimes appearing so big and bold. It's like... just do it, there's no need for a fuss.

The other forum I visit is admittedly larger but, as you say, things are done quietly. As in, a mod may delete a thread and will then PM you about it. Just a small example. I know not every site works the same but I know what you mean and there is a "status" thing going on here at times.

The thing that annoys me most is when a thread gets locked with no apparent reason. A small "Locked for _____" would suffice, but sometimes they're just locked and you're left with the feeling (intentional or not) that a mod's closed it because they just don't agree.

And I really get the feeling this thread will be locked with the message "If you have issues with how the site is run, please contact a forum moderator/Depp"

[Dangerous]

I have nothing to say except that I agree with you. xD

[Rachie]

Originally Posted by Link1

I doubt anyone really cares on this site about this, and I feel like there's probably a chance that this post would be trashed.

I ALWAYS care about other peoples opinions and some of which mentioned below, may change the way i act.

Originally Posted by Link1

I feel like posts should be able to be deleted

BELIEVE The reason for this is to stop people, deleting threads as soon as someone disagrees with them, or if they are not getting their own way. Also if posts were deleted it can easily change the way of conversation, and make hard to follow.

eg) I agree with the user above etc etc (when the user above's post has gone, can appear to read tottally different)

Originally Posted by Link1

and you should be able to rate threads or something. Actually, you can rate can't you?

Correct, you can rate threads from 1 to 5

Originally Posted by Link1

If so, why can't you sort by highest rated? or other sorting methods.. they just would make things a lot better. And if you CAN do that then I'm missing something.

Am afraid to say you are missing something (you can) Quick explanation below, for more info please message me.

1) Go to a specific forum, eg) Truth or Dare stories (as an example)

2) There is an ORANGE bar with the titles - Rating - Last Post - Replies - Views

3) To see highest rated click "RATING" for the most recent replied to threads click "LAST POST" for most replies click "REPLIES" for most views click "VIEWS"

4) Scroll down below the Stickies and the threads are in order (most - least)

eg) Ratings at present = "HerPunishment" by Rogue.

Any other questions, feel free to ask

Originally Posted by Link1

I had tried to use the ad system to find a mistress and realized quickly that it was hopeless. Even after being complimented on my second ad a few times, nothing happened.

No need to feel at the bottom of the food chain, Even Moderators etc, have found it hard to find a slave / Mistress.

I'm sure Leopard (moderator) won't mind me using him as an example. After making a similar thread (Excellently written) found it difficult for some time finding a Mistress.

Patience is the key here, and i'm afrad i don't have any answers.

Originally Posted by Link1

But even worse then that. (that can't be helped can it?) I feel like there is.. pretty much a mod clique. All the mods and their best buds. They support each other and let them stand high and mighty over everyone else.

Now this part worries me slightly.

I have become friends with several mods, as i have with hopefully many members. I believe i have only 3 times sent any messages to any moderator (via other means than getDare) This was for proof reafding etc for the User Guide i created, and was before i became a moderator.

I try to help anyone thats asked for it, Several members are new, and others have rarely spoken too.

I have given infractions / warning to anyone that has required it. Even one of my close friends a couple of weeks ago.

Originally Posted by Link1

And I'm not saying that these people aren't good posters or whatever. I'm sure they work hard. I just feel like the interaction between a mod or mod friend and myself or some other common member is like talking to royalty.

This again hurts me slightly.

I read a post of yours a while ago (before became mod) asking about a user with a user name called LINK. ref you couldn' find him as he had made 0 posts.

I spent 15 minutes the other day (02.06.11) finding the user and messaging his profile, so you could clarify something. (Again this time was spent out of the goodnees of my heart and tried to open / start a conversation)

I have recieved NO reply back whatsoever, and felt my time was waisted.

I recieve countless messages daily and try to reply to all of these (except the minority that are scams etc)

If you ever want to chat, start a conversation, if i am available i will chat back etc.

If i started a conversation with everyone i believe people would soon get annoyed.

Originally Posted by Link1

And everyone loves grammar and well put together ideas. But I'm not really a writer. and so, I get looked down on because of that. cool?

I'm deeply sorry about this, and i am dyslexic (probably tell by the amount of mistakes in this)

However what i refer to mainly, is people using "Text Speech". This infuriates me, as it takes me forever to decipher what someone is saying.

I also have trouble with abbreviations, however this is just myself, and don;t moan when people use, as there is often a good reason.

Originally Posted by Link1

And then there's the Elite Member area. As if I didn't feel low enough. There's a constant reminder!

Please don't think to much about this. I can't go into much more for rules reasons.

Originally Posted by Link1

Like.. everything in this whole forum is a bunch of stuff either trying to please the people and earn favor for good posts, or please the mods with that, or please the girls because you're horny.

Yes there are people who make good posts, and many of which are friends with. I'm not so gulable that when someone says "........ is the best person for advice etc" i let them off with anything they do.

As i have mentioned earlier i HAVE previously banned / given infraction / warned, people who i classified as friends etc.

I also think several people have made great threads, however are not on my Friends list (Doctor, Depp, Softeyes to name just a few)

Originally Posted by Link1

Being who I am is useless on this site. (male, switch, taken. Not that I can't post my own amazing thoughts, but it's not going to get me far) XD

Suggestions / thoughts are always welcome, we can't promise to do everything that's suggested, but i (and sure most of the mods) will always sit down read/listen to the concerns anyone has, and the suggestions people make.

I will not always comment, but often message the user instead, or remember the idea for future use.

Originally Posted by Link1

But one of my last posts got closed without an explanation. Clearly I was being too aggressive or SOMEthing. To me I felt like I was just trying to defend myself when someone directed something TO me. I certainly didn't feel like I was spamming or being offensive though. If anything I was feeling more hurt. But then the thread closed. Leaving me with little resolution!

Several people reported the thread,

You asked a question, and got the same type of response from several/multiple people. You explained your reasonings each time (correctly done), but everyone was saying the same thing, I don't know if you got the answer you was looking / hoping for, but again you are welcome to your opinion.

Originally Posted by Link1

(as if someone isn't going to trash this though. If the mods don't like it, it gets trashed right? freedom of speech ftw) I can't really get every idea out.

That is not the case at all.

People use the report feature, and we then take action. If you ever feel you are hard done by please message a moderator and ask.

Originally Posted by Link1

I'm just really not happy with this site anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that, anything i can do to help, feel free to suggest

Originally Posted by Link1

I don't like a lot of the people who seem like creeps or liars or whatever they may be.

Most people would agree with this

Originally Posted by Link1

But I don't really feel like playing the game of "kiss up to the mod"

So does that mean i won't be getting a kiss

We are hear to help, not to bed!

Originally Posted by Link1

I hate when mods trash a post and are like.. TRASHED at the end of it. It's so in your face.. it just seems douchey. really.. posts that are trashed should just be.. gone.

Sitting back and thinking about this, i particially agree. However Not a single person has ever brough this to my attention

Example of the last thread i trashed
http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthrea...177#post470177

Yes you can see i am guilty for displaying TRASHED in larger letters and in bold.

However i believe / hope

I have also helped the user by refering them to the correct area with a link etc.

I have always said / posted when i have trashed a thread. This way if anyone has any problems with this they can private message me.

All threads that i have trashed have been reported first often by multiple users.

I may now change by way slightly, (say trashed, in usual font) if that pleases users.

When threads are trashed YOU CAN STILL view them, unlike deleted posts. I also believe the post count for any / all users on the thread still stay the same. This is different if the thread is deleted.

Rarely is a thread deleted unless there is good reason, or it has been posted duplicate etc. If a thread has several posts on it, it will nearly always be Trashed instead.

Originally Posted by Link1

but.. enough of my unorganized rambling. If anyone took the time to really read all of this it would probably be someone who either agrees with me somehow or someone who is active on the site.

I like to think of myself as Active.

I agree with several things you have said, and disagree with others, as you can see

Originally Posted by Link1

I have such a strong feeling that this will be TRASHED. Because that's just what this site seems to do in this sort of situation.

Not at present

Originally Posted by Link1

I don't really feel like I'm breaking the rules though so if this is trashed someone should tell me exactly what I did to break the rules that are posted on the site. I'm certainly not yelling at any person.

I can not see anywhere that you have broken any rules at present. The thread may eventually get closed / locked, once it has run it's course. Especially if everyone is posting worthless comments on here and just saying i agree etc.

Originally Posted by Link1

I only am talking about the site in general or the mods in general. But as people, I'm sure you're all very nice.

I am sure you are very nice too.

If you ever want anyone to chat to, or if you have a problem, just ask. That goes to anyone else

Originally Posted by Link1

This is just one person's point of view I guess. maybe it'll be helpful. >_>

Thank you for sharing your views, and somethings may be rectified in the future.

Love Rachie
x x x x

[Ranzid]

I would say TLDR .. but rachie posted so i did ..

of course there are social groups . .but theres no big conspiracy between mods (except the site lead...whom we do not speak about .. shhh they know all act normal)

im relativly new to the site and have found 90% of people to be more than helpful , mods and non mods equally , I back rachies point about deleteing posts... this was introduced on a forum i was on and the exact thing happened, if people didnt like what as posted the thread suddenly disappeared which left alot of people asking "what was X on about there is no thread of giraffe porn?"

also please cut the mods some slack here , they have to read a helluva lot of posts and when someone posts something wrong or against the rules you cant expect a sit down and chat about how you feel about it, just chill .. and move on.

[Link1]

Thank you all very much for the posts. They made me feel 500% better. I'm glad I'm not just being looked at as a flamer or a troll or whatever the internet calls it. XD

I especially want to say thank you and I'm sorry to Rachie. Firstly, It was totally awesome to learn that you could organize posts by rating or however you wanted. THANK YOU!

Also I suppose the deleting posts and threads idea makes sense. so consider myself satisfied there as well.

Now.. as far as the whole mod clique is concerned I only see this rarely in posts. At one point though, I was attempting to use the getdare chat pretty often. And I'm glad it's an option.. make no mistake. I just feel like there are so many people on the chat who only want to talk to certain people that it's just a little upsetting when you say hi or say something on a topic being talked about and no one says anything in return. I'm sure there are a lot of annoying people on the chats, but I eventually stopped using it and came out with my idea of the mod groups. Personal frustration, but I don't think I'm completely wrong either.

(it's hard not to think about the elite member area. I don't consider myself elite in any sense, but I feel like if it's really a complete secret that no one can even TALK about what goes on there, that the area should be invisible to the public eye somehow. It just feels.. taunting.) ._.

I don't know what else to really say. I'm sorry if some of my post is just pure frustration in word form or something like that. I didn't even plan on writing that much, but it was 5:00 in the morning and I was feeling crazy. 0.o

So.. yeah. thanks for reading. Thanks endlessly for your replies. I feel a lot.. better. :3

[Star Shadows]

As a member for almost two years and a member who can give an 'active' view on the site I felt like I should comment from a long-standing non-mod point of view. Some of what you said concerns me. While there is the general view of "like it or lump it" this isn't the case with most members- many people do care about what you think. Myself included.

Originally Posted by Link1

When I first stumbled onto this site it looked very interesting and very alive. I've never been very into forums, but this looked different. I learned soon though that it was still a forum. I almost wish it was different. I feel like posts should be able to be deleted and you should be able to rate threads or something. Actually, you can rate can't you? If so, why can't you sort by highest rated? or other sorting methods.. they just would make things a lot better. And if you CAN do that then I'm missing something.

People have time and time again suggested that you should be able to delete posts and threads yourself, and depp has always gave the same reasonable response.

"We used to allow users to edit and delete all their personal posts at any time. This was causing conversations to break up and users to abuse editing in attacks on other users. As it stands now, you have a day or so to make edits to your posts. This is to preserve the conversation in it's entirety."

Giving users the ability to delete their posts meant that arguments and conversations would become disjointed when people began to delete threads and flaws came up in the flow of threads, and the database all together. (A thread on this is >> Here<<)

As for viewing threads by rating, as Rachie said, this is actually possible. Its largely why the rating is there.

Originally Posted by Link1

I became much more discouraged when I started to feel the different types of groups on getdare and how I was practically the bottom of the food chain. I had tried to use the ad system to find a mistress and realized quickly that it was hopeless. Even after being complimented on my second ad a few times, nothing happened. So I became annoyed because I realized that as a straight male, being on this site was going to be.. a bit worse. And of course the usual system of male sub, male dom, female sub, female dom. Lowest to highest demand. I felt pathetic.

As you said the male sub, male dom etc... is TYPICAL to most sites relating to BDSM. Though i am unsure the female sub and dom is that way but meh petty arguments. This is all simply based on supply and demand. As a FACT there are more male slaves than female ones this means that male slaves are less popular. there are few places where this will not be the same.

Originally Posted by Link1

But even worse then that. (that can't be helped can it?) I feel like there is.. pretty much a mod clique. All the mods and their best buds. They support each other and let them stand high and mighty over everyone else. And I'm not saying that these people aren't good posters or whatever. I'm sure they work hard. I just feel like the interaction between a mod or mod friend and myself or some other common member is like talking to royalty. You're being looked down on constantly on this site. And everyone loves grammar and well put together ideas. But I'm not really a writer. and so, I get looked down on because of that. cool? And then there's the Elite Member area. As if I didn't feel low enough. There's a constant reminder!

Most people don't look down on members. Mods don't look down and they aren't conspiring. They are all friendly- and just people, you can talk to them just like anyone else. And as has already been said the good writing is more directed at people "hu feel da ned 2 tlk lyk dis" You seem to write coherently and in full sentences. Again people wont look down on you for this.

Originally Posted by erickj92

As for the elite members area, it's probably not as glorious as you think. Only a small percentage actually get in, and those people come and go as time passes by.

And also- I am a member of the elite section, and you know what... from someone who is there... it is shit. Nothing happens... at all... ever. So really there is no real benefit to being there. It used to be active but then the section grew dead because we didn't want to exclude other members. So no it isn't magic or special or super desirable. Its just a dead place with unused posts that has been almost scrapped several times... don't let it get you down.

Originally Posted by Link1

Being who I am is useless on this site. (male, switch, taken. Not that I can't post my own amazing thoughts, but it's not going to get me far) XD

Noone on this site is useless (unless you tlk lyk dis) Just because you may not be able to be someones sub or do dares or whatever doesnt make you useless.


[QUOTE=Link1;471278] I'm just really not happy with this site anymore. It's been going downhill. I don't like the mods being so high and mighty. I don't like a lot of the people who seem like creeps or liars or whatever they may be. I don't like being pushed into that SAME group as all the general public on this site since no one cares about them. But I don't really feel like playing the game of "kiss up to the mod" [quote]
1)its the internet- people lie and creep simply because its easy
2) I would like you to look at my pms, and my thread and see how many of that is people not caring about the general public? look at nelly's threads, people do care if you know where to look. Some general public are busy with fuck knows what but there are some, like myself, Rachie, lady c etc etc that do genuinely care for the mass populus of the site- and not because we suck up to mods.
Most of the site is general public. there are what... 15 mods. People in this community care for one another. It might be subtle, but if you need help people will help, if you have a question someone will help answer it. People on the site do care for the general population of the site. Its part of being a community. So just as the trashed thing hurts you that hurt me.
3) you dont have to suck up to the mods just follow the rules.

Originally Posted by Link1

Because that's just what this site seems to do in this sort of situation. I don't really feel like I'm breaking the rules though so if this is trashed someone should tell me exactly what I did to break the rules that are posted on the site.

Sometimes if a thread gets to a point- especially in ones like this, and similar, where a point has been reached, or there is a risk of starting arguments then the mods will close a thread to keep the peace. I doubt it will get trashed if you have serious concerns.


As a final point to my more than threepence of opinion on the site and whatever, If you do decide to stay, if you ever need help, or a friend, or someone to talk to then please do not hesitate to contact me via PM, and know that I will always answer as soon as I am in a position to do so.

[daremaster 1]

Originally Posted by Rachie

I ALWAYS care about other peoples opinions and some of which mentioned below, may change the way i act.



BELIEVE The reason for this is to stop people, deleting threads as soon as someone disagrees with them, or if they are not getting their own way. Also if posts were deleted it can easily change the way of conversation, and make hard to follow.

eg) I agree with the user above etc etc (when the user above's post has gone, can appear to read tottally different)




Correct, you can rate threads from 1 to 5




Am afraid to say you are missing something (you can) Quick explanation below, for more info please message me.

1) Go to a specific forum, eg) Truth or Dare stories (as an example)

2) There is an ORANGE bar with the titles - Rating - Last Post - Replies - Views

3) To see highest rated click "RATING" for the most recent replied to threads click "LAST POST" for most replies click "REPLIES" for most views click "VIEWS"

4) Scroll down below the Stickies and the threads are in order (most - least)

eg) Ratings at present = "HerPunishment" by Rogue.

Any other questions, feel free to ask




No need to feel at the bottom of the food chain, Even Moderators etc, have found it hard to find a slave / Mistress.

I'm sure Leopard (moderator) won't mind me using him as an example. After making a similar thread (Excellently written) found it difficult for some time finding a Mistress.

Patience is the key here, and i'm afrad i don't have any answers.



Now this part worries me slightly.

I have become friends with several mods, as i have with hopefully many members. I believe i have only 3 times sent any messages to any moderator (via other means than getDare) This was for proof reafding etc for the User Guide i created, and was before i became a moderator.

I try to help anyone thats asked for it, Several members are new, and others have rarely spoken too.

I have given infractions / warning to anyone that has required it. Even one of my close friends a couple of weeks ago.



This again hurts me slightly.

I read a post of yours a while ago (before became mod) asking about a user with a user name called LINK. ref you couldn' find him as he had made 0 posts.

I spent 15 minutes the other day (02.06.11) finding the user and messaging his profile, so you could clarify something. (Again this time was spent out of the goodnees of my heart and tried to open / start a conversation)

I have recieved NO reply back whatsoever, and felt my time was waisted.

I recieve countless messages daily and try to reply to all of these (except the minority that are scams etc)

If you ever want to chat, start a conversation, if i am available i will chat back etc.

If i started a conversation with everyone i believe people would soon get annoyed.



I'm deeply sorry about this, and i am dyslexic (probably tell by the amount of mistakes in this)

However what i refer to mainly, is people using "Text Speech". This infuriates me, as it takes me forever to decipher what someone is saying.

I also have trouble with abbreviations, however this is just myself, and don;t moan when people use, as there is often a good reason.



Please don't think to much about this. I can't go into much more for rules reasons.



Yes there are people who make good posts, and many of which are friends with. I'm not so gulable that when someone says "........ is the best person for advice etc" i let them off with anything they do.

As i have mentioned earlier i HAVE previously banned / given infraction / warned, people who i classified as friends etc.

I also think several people have made great threads, however are not on my Friends list (Doctor, Depp, Softeyes to name just a few)



Suggestions / thoughts are always welcome, we can't promise to do everything that's suggested, but i (and sure most of the mods) will always sit down read/listen to the concerns anyone has, and the suggestions people make.

I will not always comment, but often message the user instead, or remember the idea for future use.



Several people reported the thread,

You asked a question, and got the same type of response from several/multiple people. You explained your reasonings each time (correctly done), but everyone was saying the same thing, I don't know if you got the answer you was looking / hoping for, but again you are welcome to your opinion.




That is not the case at all.

People use the report feature, and we then take action. If you ever feel you are hard done by please message a moderator and ask.



I'm sorry to hear that, anything i can do to help, feel free to suggest




Most people would agree with this




So does that mean i won't be getting a kiss

We are hear to help, not to bed!



Sitting back and thinking about this, i particially agree. However Not a single person has ever brough this to my attention

Example of the last thread i trashed
http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthrea...177#post470177

Yes you can see i am guilty for displaying TRASHED in larger letters and in bold.

However i believe / hope

I have also helped the user by refering them to the correct area with a link etc.

I have always said / posted when i have trashed a thread. This way if anyone has any problems with this they can private message me.

All threads that i have trashed have been reported first often by multiple users.

I may now change by way slightly, (say trashed, in usual font) if that pleases users.

When threads are trashed YOU CAN STILL view them, unlike deleted posts. I also believe the post count for any / all users on the thread still stay the same. This is different if the thread is deleted.

Rarely is a thread deleted unless there is good reason, or it has been posted duplicate etc. If a thread has several posts on it, it will nearly always be Trashed instead.



I like to think of myself as Active.

I agree with several things you have said, and disagree with others, as you can see




Not at present



I can not see anywhere that you have broken any rules at present. The thread may eventually get closed / locked, once it has run it's course. Especially if everyone is posting worthless comments on here and just saying i agree etc.



I am sure you are very nice too.

If you ever want anyone to chat to, or if you have a problem, just ask. That goes to anyone else



Thank you for sharing your views, and somethings may be rectified in the future.

Love Rachie
x x x x

Thanks Rachie, you even helped me a little.

[alpha]

Yeah, I agree with some of the stuff you've brought up. I would have to say though that overall the mods are always nice and they do their job well. I do agree that there are some other members however that seem to roll in their own clique on the chat and will pretty much ignore you, but that's pretty much how it is in any group (they kind of shun the newcomers until they've been around for a while, usually not on purpose though.)
Just my $0.02.

[sweetsong]

Nobody likes a whiner. There aren't any "cliques" either. o.O I talk to new people all the time.

Just be confident and be yourself and you'll make friends. People don't always respond to me when I talk either, so I just keep saying things until I find something they like.

[Mephistopheles]

just confirming a few things:

the elite area is largely dead and mostly defunct. nothing important or interesting happens in there. we don't do anything interesting with it. it contains a bunch of lounge-type threads that often go a month or two without any posts. you are missing absolutely nothing. the reason we never talk about it is because it is boring and dead and mostly useless not because it is an awesome secret.


there are definite social groups on the site but they aren't the result of mod favoritism as far as I have seen. people just tend to form little cliques as social animals. c'est la vie.

[The Natural]

I've tried to comment on this thread two different times in 5+ paragraphs each, I just can't find the right wording, so I'll keep it simple and anyone who has a question about my opinion can ask it.

Cliques do exist, but they don't always include mods. Maybe one or two who I won't mention, but it doesn't mean they have anymore power or anything... but then again, why care? This website doesn't count for anything; you can't put it on a resume. However, that doesn't mean there isn't great fellowship to be found here. It really is like a high school.

[Id.]

Originally Posted by The Natural

I've tried to comment on this thread two different times in 5+ paragraphs each, I just can't find the right wording, so I'll keep it simple and anyone who has a question about my opinion can ask it.

Ha, the same thing happened to me! I understand what he's getting at but have been unable to figure out what can or should be said about it.

Originally Posted by Link1

Now.. as far as the whole mod clique is concerned I only see this rarely in posts. At one point though, I was attempting to use the getdare chat pretty often. And I'm glad it's an option.. make no mistake. I just feel like there are so many people on the chat who only want to talk to certain people that it's just a little upsetting when you say hi or say something on a topic being talked about and no one says anything in return.

I have felt this too in the chats sometimes. But I think more than anything it's a natural consequence of more senior members knowing each other better because they have been here longer than you and I. I don't think it's reasonable to expect the same rapport with newer members like us that they share with people they have been chatting with regularly for months or years. No one should feel subordinate to those who have simply been around longer and made more acquaintances here.

Nor should we feel pressured to impress the mods and their friends. There is plenty of interaction to go around, and I have never felt any sense of deliberate elitism here. I have found the site to be very lively and fulfilling despite not knowing any of the mods. I suppose the mod system is imperfect like anything else, and I think anyone who has been here even a short while will probably engage in some overzealous "back seat moderating" from time to time. But these kinds of things occur in any community, and I wouldn't worry about it.

As for the gender and sub/dom demographics, I don't think there is much that can be done other than being proactive, outgoing, and patient. It's hard to find someone truly compatible regardless. Just because females may have more people contacting them does not necessarily mean that it will be any easier to find what they are looking for. So keep at it and I'm sure you will be able to find the people that share your interests.

[Slenderman - Doctor]

Originally Posted by Mephistopheles

the elite area is largely dead and mostly defunct. nothing important or interesting happens in there. we don't do anything interesting with it. it contains a bunch of lounge-type threads that often go a month or two without any posts. you are missing absolutely nothing. the reason we never talk about it is because it is boring and dead and mostly useless not because it is an awesome secret.

Glad this has been mentioned, a couple of times now.

In fact, I don't even see why it's still part of the site. That's how useless it is.