Tips, Ideas and Thoughts On Begging

IceMaiden · 04-21-2018, 10:31 AM

One thing I am not good at is begging. I always struggle with it - I rarely know what to say and the times I do I end up feeling silly and panicked it wont be good enough or I will do it wrong somehow.

AM wants me to improve on this and has asked me to learn everything I can about begging via some reading he will give me, my own research and reading and hearing other peoples thoughts. In a few days I am apparently sitting an exam on what I have learned.

So I have a few questions, if anyone would be kind enough to answer them.

For Dom's:

Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not?

Why do you like it when your sub begs?

Is there anything in particular that you do like your sub begging for? Why?

Is there anything in particular that you don't like your sub begging for? Why?

Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why?

Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why?

For sub's:

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?

Anything you try to exclude? Why?

Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel?

Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why?

Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better?

For all:
Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?

sir sam · 04-21-2018, 12:12 PM

Ahh!!! Fun questions!!!
For Dom's:

Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not?
Let's say "frequent". It's just part of the general dynamic. Mostly she begs for orgasm or touching when she is in denial.

Why do you like it when your sub begs?
First, if she wants something, she will need to ask. If she does not ask, beg, then I am intended to wait until she does. Just giving her before she begged feels kind of a waste.
Her begging emphasizes the fact that I am withholding her something she really wants so the domination deepens.
Then, my normal reaction will be NOT to pay attention to it and only give it when I feel time is there. That again feeds the sadistic feeling

Is there anything in particular that you do like your sub begging for? Why?
Not specifically. But begging for orgasm or touching when in denial seems to happen the most.

Is there anything in particular that you don't like your sub begging for?
No, she can beg for anything she wants.

Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why?
It's really up to her, but "pleeeeaaaaassseee" is really cute.
The fun is in her real well meant begging and my insensitivity to it. And, she knows it. She knows on the one hand she has to beg to get it and on the other hand it's completely useless.

Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why?
Nope, it's her choice. If I don't like it I will just tell she did herself a bad favour (it will get me a smile on my face)

For all:
Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?
Well.. It's fun. As explained above

IceMaiden · 04-22-2018, 12:07 PM

Thank you for your thoughts

If anyone else would be willing to share their thoughts I would be very grateful!

Pariahterror · 04-22-2018, 01:24 PM

I don't really like begging. For me it will be like getting something for free. You can beg for anything. I don't want to beg, and even if I do, I want to repay for it. Or bargain for something else.

Like I was very down one day and couldn't follow some rules for a day or two. But as soon as puppy was over it, I did the stuff of the rules I could do to be back at schedule. I couldn't write a report of two days, but wrote it over the four days.

I don't want to beg, and when it might be done to me, I might make it worse under certain circumstances.

But when does begging start, for me it starts when you don't get what you want. So first you'll be denied of something and you'll start begging by asking again and again.

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?
I will be adding "please" and that sort of word to make it begging, but puppy will mainly want to offer something in return.

Anything you try to exclude? Why?
Well, maybe you could start the offer lower than you think you would get it for. But otherwhise not.

Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel?
Being denied of something will make me more submissive. Being denied again would make me even more submissive. But I'll mainly accept my fate then. I just don't want to beg.

Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why?
When I get something by begging, it makes me feel cheap and less worthy. Having bargained makes me feel better since I would be doing something else in exchange.

Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better?
Depending on the Dom, compliments might work to get them in a better mood first. Make sure not to compliment too much as they can get annoyed or being put in a more sadistic mood.

Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?
It might be good for one dom, but it can work the other way on another Dom. But it sure can be effective used right.

IceMaiden · 05-09-2018, 11:12 AM

Thank you puppy for your answers!

AM had me do the exam a week or so ago and I scored 85% - which was MUCH higher than I thought I would get! I even took a totally wild guess at one question.

He wants me to take it or a similar one again as I improve and learn from his comments to my answers so if anyone else would like to share, again I would appreciate it!

Runesmith · 05-13-2018, 11:17 PM

Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not?

Yes, I do use it very frequently. To me, it's part of the degradation dynamic. Begging requires the sub to internalize that she (I will use the female pronoun here since my subs are always female) is in an inferior position, that I hold the power to deny her something, and that she needs to submit to my judgement. It's a very strong power dynamic.

Why do you like it when your sub begs?

Believe it or not, begging doesn't come easy to people. Although religious people beg their god/s routinely (aka pray), begging for a favour from another human being requires completely adjusting their mindset. The first few efforts at begging always never come out right. In many cases, the sub would simply politely request than whole-heartedly beg. That whole-hearted begging requires the sub to be in the proper mental position. So when I hear the sub beg properly, it tells me that she is properly broken. And that's why I like it.

To be continued when time permits...

Jaro · 05-14-2018, 09:37 AM

So I have a few questions, if anyone would be kind enough to answer them.

For sub's:

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?
I use a lot of please and I try to include things like *looks at you with puppy eyes*. I also try to avoid words like 'want' and 'have to' because I feel they are too demanding. I also try to describe what I'm doing to myself or wearing that will amuse me. Finally, I try to include humor as I feel that humor helps in any situation.

Anything you try to exclude? Why?
Needy and demanding words like "want" and "need"

Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel?
Yes, definitely. It shows more clearly the difference between you and me and that I am beneath you.

Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why?
Yes very much. I LOVE to feel submissive and, more so, that you are above me, own me and decide my fate.

Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better?
Make it vivid. Try to use very describing words that really paint a picture. I want you to "see" me begging.

For all:
Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?[/QUOTE]
Definitely. It clearly shows the power dynamic in place. It makes the submissive feel more submissive and the Dominant more Dominant. It strengthens the relationship.

sir sam · 05-14-2018, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaro

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?
I use a lot of please and I try to include things like *looks at you with puppy eyes*. I also try to avoid words like 'want' and 'have to' because I feel they are too demanding. I also try to describe what I'm doing to myself or wearing that will amuse me. Finally, I try to include humor as I feel that humor helps in any situation.

Anything you try to exclude? Why?
Needy and demanding words like "want" and "need"

Mhhh... my pet can definitely learn things from you.

little pet · 05-14-2018, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sir sam

Mhhh... my pet can definitely learn things from you.

But those words are what I always use Sir.....

Runesmith · 05-14-2018, 08:24 PM

Continued...

Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why?

I don't look for specific words. Teaching a sub how to beg defeats the purpose, in my opinion. I prefer it to come direct from the sub's heart (ie. subconscious). Begging is a high degree of submission, and this should release any "blocks" in the sub's mind for using any phrases etc that they always wanted to use. Making them parrot phrases that you want to hear does not trigger such a release - it only adds a formal layer. There are those who like a formal layer of ritual in a D/s relationship (especially those insufferable pricks, the Goreans), but I believe in the opposite - it should free the sub to be who they are. Just like Jaro has his favorite phrases that make him feel subby, most subs discover their own ways of begging.

Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why?

No. Like I said, I let the sub discover herself through begging. I don't dictate how to beg.

Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?

It's a very effective tool. This is what ultimately determines whether the sub has the potential to be a true submissive. I engage it very early in the dynamic.

little pet · 05-15-2018, 03:56 AM

since I read Sir’s comment, I have been thinking about begging, and about how I do it.

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?
I always include a lot of “please, pleeeeeease”, and “Sir” at the end of each sentence, in order to be very polite. If I am to have a chance at all, to get what I want, I figure I have to be at my best behaviour. I try to describe my situation, and why I really really want what I’m begging for. When I’m on no touch denial, I will describe how horny I am for instance, and what it is doing to me, how it effects my ability to concentrate. And how being allowed to touch myself, however shortly, will help.

Anything you try to exclude? Why?
No, I don’t think so. Although, reading Sir’s comment, I might have to cut down on the “want” and “need”. Sometimes I go too far, or I nag too much, and I will end up with my nose on the floor to reflect on my behaviour, so I try not to get to that point.

Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel?
It can put me in a very submissive head space. Knowing I am lowering myself, degrading myself even, for a tiny little chance of getting what I want, makes me feel very submissive. Often, I don’t get what I’ve been begging for, and that makes the submission feel even deeper

Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why?
Yes, I love how it makes me feel, it is almost always futile and so it drives home the point that I have no influence or say whatsoever. Sometimes, Sir will grant something I’ve been begging for, be he will alter it, so that I won’t even really like it, and he is the one that ends up happy.

I think I’d like to “improve” on my begging. Reading this made me realise what a great tool it actually is. I sometimes feel I am out of things to say and it becomes repetitive. Maybe I need some training from Sir.

Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better?

Describing my desperate state always seems to please Sir. Really make it vivid. And also telling what I’d be willing to do for my request to be granted.

For all:
Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?
absolutely! It makes it crystal clear who is in charge. Who holds the power to grant or deny any wish the sub has.

IceMaiden · 05-15-2018, 08:57 AM

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and answers, it's given me a lot to think about!

Adare2018 · 07-16-2018, 07:51 AM

Hi Hi, well here I thought I'd have zero interest in communicating *at all* on this forum... but lo and behold... I guess this is a rather pertinent topic to chime in. *smile at Gamer... He knows why* ( ok so THAT could be a quote in my Sig... but I don't want to attract the PMs I'd get :/)

So this is a topic that has some newfound personal meaning to me. It was something I never expected to actually be into as I'm not into humilliation or degradation. That may color my replies a bit. A few people mentioned mental space and how that affects the sincerity. I'd say it also affects the method. When I beg it is less done to degrade myself and more to show how deeply he affects me, or to express desire.

For sub's:

Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why?
The main idea is for me to express: what is the desire, why is it desired, how much it is desired, what that desire does, what granting will do, what denial will do, then coming back around to acknowledging that he has the ability/ say to grant or deny. I acknowledge my obedience/ dependence, and end it respectfully. Unless he asks me to continue... then I end up reiterating or trying to expand on the desire aspect. I don't think "need is taken badly. Both my Sir and my Master really appreciate the concept of being deeply needed.

Anything you try to exclude? Why?
No? Nothing should be off limits in communicating desire. But repeating please is annoying and shows lack of creativity.

Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel?
*scrunched up lips* I font actually know. I think irl it might, depending upon physical position. I don't really think anything but my own mental attitude make me submissive. I should be clear I'm submissive, not slave.

Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why?
I like pleasing my Sir and my Master. Beggingis especially important to Master. It is essential for him. The fact that he likes the way I do, really makes me happy and that positive reinforcement makes a loop.

Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better?
I think it depends on the one you are petitioning from? Sir would NOT like being begged. He appreciates feeling needed and desired... but he would never ever appreciate feeling like he has the power to deprive. So for him, I focus on telling him how much the things he does, requests, and allows affect me. How much I need him to function. Etc.
For Master he DOES need to feel it is his purview to deny. That I will accept his word and that it is expected I won't get what I want only what he wants to give...and that expressing desire is futile but necessary. So knowing their motives and drives alters the way I approach things, the words I use, and my own headspace.

No, their areas of control do not overlap. It's not like Master says "No" so I go ask Sir. Lol. They have completely different areas of interest and control over me.

For all:
Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?[/QUOTE]
I think it is another form of specific communication. Like all communication it depends upon the capability of the communicator and the one receiving that communication to make it useful or pointless. I don't deal with poor communicators or people with low self awareness.

04-21-2018, 10:31 AM	#1
IceMaiden Truth or Dare Zealot Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Gallifrey Posts: 6,352 Blog Entries: 163	Tips, Ideas and Thoughts On Begging One thing I am not good at is begging. I always struggle with it - I rarely know what to say and the times I do I end up feeling silly and panicked it wont be good enough or I will do it wrong somehow. AM wants me to improve on this and has asked me to learn everything I can about begging via some reading he will give me, my own research and reading and hearing other peoples thoughts. In a few days I am apparently sitting an exam on what I have learned. So I have a few questions, if anyone would be kind enough to answer them. For Dom's: Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not? Why do you like it when your sub begs? Is there anything in particular that you do like your sub begging for? Why? Is there anything in particular that you don't like your sub begging for? Why? Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why? Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why? For sub's: Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why? Anything you try to exclude? Why? Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel? Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why? Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better? For all: Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not? __________________ ♡ My Stories. ♡ FAQ. ♡ AMA♡ Happily loved, owned and collared by AbusiveMaster. I Love This Girl Unconditionally. Always And Forever ♡ Get a rule from me here. NOTlooking for a dom/sub or to play a game, exchange dares, pictures etc! Last edited by IceMaiden; 04-21-2018 at 10:48 AM.

04-21-2018, 12:12 PM	#2
sir sam Distinguished Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Location: Europe (gmt+1) Posts: 795 Blog Entries: 51	Ahh!!! Fun questions!!! For Dom's: Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not? Let's say "frequent". It's just part of the general dynamic. Mostly she begs for orgasm or touching when she is in denial. Why do you like it when your sub begs? First, if she wants something, she will need to ask. If she does not ask, beg, then I am intended to wait until she does. Just giving her before she begged feels kind of a waste. Her begging emphasizes the fact that I am withholding her something she really wants so the domination deepens. Then, my normal reaction will be NOT to pay attention to it and only give it when I feel time is there. That again feeds the sadistic feeling Is there anything in particular that you do like your sub begging for? Why? Not specifically. But begging for orgasm or touching when in denial seems to happen the most. Is there anything in particular that you don't like your sub begging for? No, she can beg for anything she wants. Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why? It's really up to her, but "pleeeeaaaaassseee" is really cute. The fun is in her real well meant begging and my insensitivity to it. And, she knows it. She knows on the one hand she has to beg to get it and on the other hand it's completely useless. Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why? Nope, it's her choice. If I don't like it I will just tell she did herself a bad favour (it will get me a smile on my face) For all: Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not? Well.. It's fun. As explained above __________________ M, Europe, dominant Proud owner of sweet little pet Want to read? my pets 2016-awarded story

04-22-2018, 12:07 PM	#3
IceMaiden Truth or Dare Zealot Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Gallifrey Posts: 6,352 Blog Entries: 163	Thank you for your thoughts If anyone else would be willing to share their thoughts I would be very grateful! __________________ ♡ My Stories. ♡ FAQ. ♡ AMA♡ Happily loved, owned and collared by AbusiveMaster. I Love This Girl Unconditionally. Always And Forever ♡ Get a rule from me here. NOTlooking for a dom/sub or to play a game, exchange dares, pictures etc!

04-22-2018, 01:24 PM	#4
Pariahterror Prodigy Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: Netherlands Posts: 4,401 Blog Entries: 21	I don't really like begging. For me it will be like getting something for free. You can beg for anything. I don't want to beg, and even if I do, I want to repay for it. Or bargain for something else. Like I was very down one day and couldn't follow some rules for a day or two. But as soon as puppy was over it, I did the stuff of the rules I could do to be back at schedule. I couldn't write a report of two days, but wrote it over the four days. I don't want to beg, and when it might be done to me, I might make it worse under certain circumstances. But when does begging start, for me it starts when you don't get what you want. So first you'll be denied of something and you'll start begging by asking again and again. Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why? I will be adding "please" and that sort of word to make it begging, but puppy will mainly want to offer something in return. Anything you try to exclude? Why? Well, maybe you could start the offer lower than you think you would get it for. But otherwhise not. Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel? Being denied of something will make me more submissive. Being denied again would make me even more submissive. But I'll mainly accept my fate then. I just don't want to beg. Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why? When I get something by begging, it makes me feel cheap and less worthy. Having bargained makes me feel better since I would be doing something else in exchange. Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better? Depending on the Dom, compliments might work to get them in a better mood first. Make sure not to compliment too much as they can get annoyed or being put in a more sadistic mood. Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not? It might be good for one dom, but it can work the other way on another Dom. But it sure can be effective used right. __________________ Male, 28, Dutch, puppy Likes: Denial / Spanking / Petplay / body writing / Sensory Deprivation / Crossdressing / Hidden public / Hypnosis Neutral: Diapers / Messy / Cornertime / Bladder control / Pee / pictures Curious: Humiliation / Self-bondage / hidden public outing Dislikes: Linewriting Limits: Permanent / Family / Face / Video/Cam / Illegal For more: Likes / toys PM dares Progress of 1000 thread KIK: Pariahterror

05-09-2018, 11:12 AM	#5
IceMaiden Truth or Dare Zealot Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Gallifrey Posts: 6,352 Blog Entries: 163	Thank you puppy for your answers! AM had me do the exam a week or so ago and I scored 85% - which was MUCH higher than I thought I would get! I even took a totally wild guess at one question. He wants me to take it or a similar one again as I improve and learn from his comments to my answers so if anyone else would like to share, again I would appreciate it! __________________ ♡ My Stories. ♡ FAQ. ♡ AMA♡ Happily loved, owned and collared by AbusiveMaster. I Love This Girl Unconditionally. Always And Forever ♡ Get a rule from me here. NOTlooking for a dom/sub or to play a game, exchange dares, pictures etc!

05-13-2018, 11:17 PM	#6
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	Do you use a lot of begging in your relationships? Why/why not? Yes, I do use it very frequently. To me, it's part of the degradation dynamic. Begging requires the sub to internalize that she (I will use the female pronoun here since my subs are always female) is in an inferior position, that I hold the power to deny her something, and that she needs to submit to my judgement. It's a very strong power dynamic. Why do you like it when your sub begs? Believe it or not, begging doesn't come easy to people. Although religious people beg their god/s routinely (aka pray), begging for a favour from another human being requires completely adjusting their mindset. The first few efforts at begging always never come out right. In many cases, the sub would simply politely request than whole-heartedly beg. That whole-hearted begging requires the sub to be in the proper mental position. So when I hear the sub beg properly, it tells me that she is properly broken. And that's why I like it. To be continued when time permits... __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

05-14-2018, 09:37 AM	#7
Jaro A filthy maggot anal whore Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: Netherlands Posts: 7,456 Blog Entries: 299	So I have a few questions, if anyone would be kind enough to answer them. For sub's: Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why? I use a lot of please and I try to include things like looks at you with puppy eyes. I also try to avoid words like 'want' and 'have to' because I feel they are too demanding. I also try to describe what I'm doing to myself or wearing that will amuse me. Finally, I try to include humor as I feel that humor helps in any situation. Anything you try to exclude? Why? Needy and demanding words like "want" and "need" Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel? Yes, definitely. It shows more clearly the difference between you and me and that I am beneath you. Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why? Yes very much. I LOVE to feel submissive and, more so, that you are above me, own me and decide my fate. Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better? Make it vivid. Try to use very describing words that really paint a picture. I want you to "see" me begging. For all: Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?[/QUOTE] Definitely. It clearly shows the power dynamic in place. It makes the submissive feel more submissive and the Dominant more Dominant. It strengthens the relationship. __________________ Worm owned by Princess Butterfly ♦ Likes & Limits ♦ Toys ♦ AMA ♦ Check out my truths and dares here

05-14-2018, 08:24 PM	#10
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	Continued... Is there anything you especially like being done/said with the begging? Why? I don't look for specific words. Teaching a sub how to beg defeats the purpose, in my opinion. I prefer it to come direct from the sub's heart (ie. subconscious). Begging is a high degree of submission, and this should release any "blocks" in the sub's mind for using any phrases etc that they always wanted to use. Making them parrot phrases that you want to hear does not trigger such a release - it only adds a formal layer. There are those who like a formal layer of ritual in a D/s relationship (especially those insufferable pricks, the Goreans), but I believe in the opposite - it should free the sub to be who they are. Just like Jaro has his favorite phrases that make him feel subby, most subs discover their own ways of begging. Is there anything you especially dislike being done/said with the begging? Why? No. Like I said, I let the sub discover herself through begging. I don't dictate how to beg. Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not? It's a very effective tool. This is what ultimately determines whether the sub has the potential to be a true submissive. I engage it very early in the dynamic. __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

05-15-2018, 03:56 AM	#11
little pet getDare Succubus Join Date: May 2016 Location: Under Sir's thumb Posts: 1,572 Blog Entries: 85	since I read Sir’s comment, I have been thinking about begging, and about how I do it. Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why? I always include a lot of “please, pleeeeeease”, and “Sir” at the end of each sentence, in order to be very polite. If I am to have a chance at all, to get what I want, I figure I have to be at my best behaviour. I try to describe my situation, and why I really really want what I’m begging for. When I’m on no touch denial, I will describe how horny I am for instance, and what it is doing to me, how it effects my ability to concentrate. And how being allowed to touch myself, however shortly, will help. Anything you try to exclude? Why? No, I don’t think so. Although, reading Sir’s comment, I might have to cut down on the “want” and “need”. Sometimes I go too far, or I nag too much, and I will end up with my nose on the floor to reflect on my behaviour, so I try not to get to that point. Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel? It can put me in a very submissive head space. Knowing I am lowering myself, degrading myself even, for a tiny little chance of getting what I want, makes me feel very submissive. Often, I don’t get what I’ve been begging for, and that makes the submission feel even deeper Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why? Yes, I love how it makes me feel, it is almost always futile and so it drives home the point that I have no influence or say whatsoever. Sometimes, Sir will grant something I’ve been begging for, be he will alter it, so that I won’t even really like it, and he is the one that ends up happy. I think I’d like to “improve” on my begging. Reading this made me realise what a great tool it actually is. I sometimes feel I am out of things to say and it becomes repetitive. Maybe I need some training from Sir. Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better? Describing my desperate state always seems to please Sir. Really make it vivid. And also telling what I’d be willing to do for my request to be granted. For all: Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not? absolutely! It makes it crystal clear who is in charge. Who holds the power to grant or deny any wish the sub has. __________________ Female, 35, bi pet happily owned by Sir Sam My DIY thread My stories My Art My Blog Toys I own Likes: Humiliation, gags, anal, clamps, hidden public, spanking, cornertime, bondage, pet play, denial, messy. Dislikes: Pacifier, nettles, crotchropes, toothpaste, atm, pee control, line writing, tack bra and panties, ice cubes. Limits: scat, pictures/video, family, public

05-15-2018, 08:57 AM	#12
IceMaiden Truth or Dare Zealot Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Gallifrey Posts: 6,352 Blog Entries: 163	Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and answers, it's given me a lot to think about! __________________ ♡ My Stories. ♡ FAQ. ♡ AMA♡ Happily loved, owned and collared by AbusiveMaster. I Love This Girl Unconditionally. Always And Forever ♡ Get a rule from me here. NOTlooking for a dom/sub or to play a game, exchange dares, pictures etc!

07-16-2018, 07:51 AM	#13
Adare2018 Account Banned Join Date: Jul 2018 Location: Take a look, It's in a book Posts: 34	Hi Hi, well here I thought I'd have zero interest in communicating at all on this forum... but lo and behold... I guess this is a rather pertinent topic to chime in. smile at Gamer... He knows why ( ok so THAT could be a quote in my Sig... but I don't want to attract the PMs I'd get :/) So this is a topic that has some newfound personal meaning to me. It was something I never expected to actually be into as I'm not into humilliation or degradation. That may color my replies a bit. A few people mentioned mental space and how that affects the sincerity. I'd say it also affects the method. When I beg it is less done to degrade myself and more to show how deeply he affects me, or to express desire. For sub's: Is there anything you always include with your begging? Why? The main idea is for me to express: what is the desire, why is it desired, how much it is desired, what that desire does, what granting will do, what denial will do, then coming back around to acknowledging that he has the ability/ say to grant or deny. I acknowledge my obedience/ dependence, and end it respectfully. Unless he asks me to continue... then I end up reiterating or trying to expand on the desire aspect. I don't think "need is taken badly. Both my Sir and my Master really appreciate the concept of being deeply needed. Anything you try to exclude? Why? No? Nothing should be off limits in communicating desire. But repeating please is annoying and shows lack of creativity. Does it make you feel more submissive? If not, how does it make you feel? scrunched up lips I font actually know. I think irl it might, depending upon physical position. I don't really think anything but my own mental attitude make me submissive. I should be clear I'm submissive, not slave. Do you like the way it makes you feel? Why? I like pleasing my Sir and my Master. Beggingis especially important to Master. It is essential for him. The fact that he likes the way I do, really makes me happy and that positive reinforcement makes a loop. Do you have any tips on what makes begging good, rather than just simply asking for something? Why do you think those make it better? I think it depends on the one you are petitioning from? Sir would NOT like being begged. He appreciates feeling needed and desired... but he would never ever appreciate feeling like he has the power to deprive. So for him, I focus on telling him how much the things he does, requests, and allows affect me. How much I need him to function. Etc. For Master he DOES need to feel it is his purview to deny. That I will accept his word and that it is expected I won't get what I want only what he wants to give...and that expressing desire is futile but necessary. So knowing their motives and drives alters the way I approach things, the words I use, and my own headspace. No, their areas of control do not overlap. It's not like Master says "No" so I go ask Sir. Lol. They have completely different areas of interest and control over me. For all: Do you think begging is an effective tool in d/s? Why/why not?[/QUOTE] I think it is another form of specific communication. Like all communication it depends upon the capability of the communicator and the one receiving that communication to make it useful or pointless. I don't deal with poor communicators or people with low self awareness.