Findom?

[Bratty_Princess]

Hello fellow mistresses/princesses/dommes/masters and submissive,

Over the last few days I have been thinking more and more about Findom, but for me the subject is quite controversial. I would like to know your opinion about it.

Dominants:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever do it? Would you?
3) How far would you be willing to push it?
4) Is it a turn-on for you?

Subs:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever participated in findom? Would you? Why? Why not?
3) Would it be a turn-on? How for would you push it? Why?

As I said, it is quite controversial for me, but secretly a bit of a turn-on. I would like your opinion

Princess Nikki

[Runesmith]

Findom is not acceptable in any form, except for one. The dom/mes who engage in findom are nothing other than prostitutes who have discovered a way to exploit naive and/or vulnerable people.

The only acceptable form of findom is called marriage. Try it. You get half of the victim's wealth after 2 years of living off them.

Edit: Okay, there's another version of Findom that Pariahterror mentioned below that I totally overlooked. I am fine with that version.

[dannyfanny720]

As a sub, i have done it before, it is a turn on, i feel its acceptable as a form of service and a showing of submissiveness. Usually after trust has been built.

[Pariahterror]

In my opinion there are 2 types of financial domination.

The first one which will be seen often is actually giving money to the dom. This is a thing I don't like at all and don't think one should do actually. But to each his choice.

Then there is the domination of your finances. Then you get actually a spending limit each week/month. This will limit you and makes you save stuff for fun things together. You can also have to ask permission to buy things.

This last option i would be willing to try sometime when my life is more in order.

as you might read, never had any experience in it.

Due to the humility of having less to spend and have to ask for certain stuff you actually hand over some control. Which I like

[theswitchyside]

I think it is safe to say that I am completely against the idea of Findom. I think it is one thing to pay for the services of a professional domme, but paying somebody is not something that I can get around to accepting.

Like Pariah said, the second description is perhaps something I might try, but again, doing that with a person you don't know or trust makes no sense to me. IF I ever get around to do this, it'll probably be with a RL partner.

On the whole, anyone who likes findom, I don't have aaannnyyyy issues with you. I don't like it and that's that

[amethyst353]

I'm uncomfortable with it because of how easy it seems to lend itself to taking advantage of vulnerable people. But really any form of power exchange can be abused, so I'm of the thought that my discomfort is my problem and I'm in no place to judge those who are into it.

[Bunnybun]

Dominants:
For me, I dislike the idea of donation findom. I think that the idea of controlling a person's finances is alright but it does take a lot of effort and responsibility. I think that the only way I would be comfortable would be in one of the whole prostitution dominant positions as other people mentioned XD
Someone paying for my work that I am putting into them. I think that being a dominant, at least with committed slaves is hard work, and requires a lot of time and emotional energy to handle especially when livelihood is at stake. For me being a switch it can often be overwhelming forming such bonds even with people online.
I feel guilty asking people for money in general or asking someone to buy me things even irl and knowing that someone else is suffering in a bad way because what I ask of them, is not what I want.
I will admit, if someone is annoying me especially on kik (one of the reasons I choose not to share it often), I will sometimes tell them I am a findom instead of just blocking them. That leads into a whole breakdown about how they can't pay but will find a willing person to pay in their stead.

Subs:
In the current definition of Findom, it is not acceptable. Giving people donations to be called a pig is not the way to go. I think the only time I would be interested in findom would be if I was in a committed marriage and put on a budget (I spend too much money on nice clothes haha). I think it's the feeling of not being in control. The twitter version of Findom? Hell no.

[herpderp42]

I was never interested in any way of findom. Neither as a sub nor dom.
As many people argued I believe however that financial control in a working relationship or a professional paid dominant is something else.


I don't like the idea of pushing money to the main focus in a dom-sub relationship even if the sub can financially afford it.

If somebody really wants to explore it I would suggest using an amount of money that has only symbolic meaning and can't hardly be the reason to keep such a relationship alive.
Another possibility could be that the sub has to safe a fixed amount of money each month and the dom/me has control how the money is spent (for example on toys or lingerie etc pp.). In this way the sub still uses the money "for him/herself" but can explore some kind of financial control.

[lilith_]

I am a switch so I will answer both! These answers are referring to serious people who know what they are doing and not idiots who put themselves in danger/put others in danger.

Dominants:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
Yes. Just like anything else that is consensual between adults is acceptable.

2) Did you ever do it? Would you?
Nope, I haven't done it but I am not saying no. You simply just never know! But I'm not particularily interested either.

3) How far would you be willing to push it?
As far as we are both comfortable pushing it. I wouldn't be comfortable financially breaking someone so I wouldn't go that far.

4) Is it a turn-on for you?
Not exactly, but I guess I can understand the power exchange that this type of dynamic has.

Subs:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
Same answer as before.

2) Did you ever participated in findom? Would you? Why? Why not?
No, but I absolutely love the idea of being pimped. I'd love to make money out of sex work and give a percentage to my Dom. But I wouldn't want the classic findom relationship where someone drains my bank account. To begin with, it's already drained by life

3) Would it be a turn-on? How for would you push it? Why?
The scenario I described above is a HUGE turn on and I'd love to try it one day. We have talked about this half seriously, I don't know if we will actually go through with it, but to be honest, I'd absolutely love it. We agreed to talk about it again when I am free of my debt! We wouldn't push it too much, basically we just like the idea of it being completely "wrong", "flithy" and a huge "tabboo", so the amount of money doesn't matter as much.

[atownesq]

Originally Posted by Bratty_Princess

Hello fellow mistresses/princesses/dommes/masters and submissive,

Over the last few days I have been thinking more and more about Findom, but for me the subject is quite controversial. I would like to know your opinion about it.

Dominants:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever do it? Would you?
3) How far would you be willing to push it?
4) Is it a turn-on for you?

Subs:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever participated in findom? Would you? Why? Why not?
3) Would it be a turn-on? How for would you push it? Why?

As I said, it is quite controversial for me, but secretly a bit of a turn-on. I would like your opinion

Princess Nikki

Always a controversial subject, and I'll bite from the sub's perspective.

I do think it's acceptable if done responsibly between consenting adults. It becomes unacceptable when done under false pretenses, or with the motivation being to ruin the sub solely for the Dom's advantage without actually caring for them. Unfortunately, I think this is more common and gives the fetish a bad name, so to speak.

I have not and would not do it. It's a limit for me personally. I do enjoy buying my Domme gifts and paying for things if we were to go out, just like I do in my vanilla relationships, but the moment it's demanded or expected it becomes a huge turnoff. I like to think my submission is compensation enough, and that the Domme truly enjoys what I do for her and enjoys my company in general. I don't think I could submit to someone if I thought their motivation for Domming was financial reasons.

[Butterfly]

Originally Posted by Bratty_Princess

Hello fellow mistresses/princesses/dommes/masters and submissive,

Over the last few days I have been thinking more and more about Findom, but for me the subject is quite controversial. I would like to know your opinion about it.

Dominants:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever do it? Would you?
3) How far would you be willing to push it?
4) Is it a turn-on for you?

Subs:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
2) Did you ever participated in findom? Would you? Why? Why not?
3) Would it be a turn-on? How for would you push it? Why?

As I said, it is quite controversial for me, but secretly a bit of a turn-on. I would like your opinion

Princess Nikki

So I am going to start by saying that I wrote a blog about financial domination here ... https://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=87398

I agree that there are two different types of findom.

In the first, the Sub pays the Dom through tributes/gifts to show their devotion and/or pay for services. I think that there is a big difference between paying a professional for their services, and being forced to give gifts. I don't agree with this type of findom.

The second involves the control of the subs finances. This can be a very powerful form of domination, and if done right, can be amazing. It can help an impulsive sub to stop spending their money on frivolous things, it can help them save or pay off debt, or it can just be used as a tool for control.

I have participated in some form of findom as both a sub and a domme. As a sub, I was not permitted to spend more than $20 at any one time without my Doms permission. As a Domme, I have (up until recently) controlled the finances of my sub. He both had an allowance for groceries each week as well as not being allowed to spend more than a certain amount on one item without permission.

Both of these experiences were really good. It is a turn on for me because my biggest kink is control, and this was a great way to both give up and exert control in a D/s relationship.

[IceMaiden]

Dominants:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
I think it is acceptable if done correctly. Financial control is a great tool to help your sub save, pay off debt, become better handling money if they aren't very good with it and another element of control. I think paying a professional for their services is absolutely fine. I do not think it is okay for a dom to demand gifts and tributes solely for the purpose of domming someone or to ruin someone's finances/life. I view findom (excluding a professional) and financial control as two entirely separate things where one can be used with good intentions and the other I think is completely wrong.

2) Did you ever do it? Would you?
Yes. Butterfly linked the blog explaining how we worked with Jaro on financial control.

3) How far would you be willing to push it?
I was happy with how we handled the financial control we experienced. I didn't and don't want to go any further than we did.

4) Is it a turn-on for you?
Yes. Everytime Jaro had to ask us for permission to buy something it was another reminder of the control we had over him.

Subs:
1) Do you think it is acceptable? Why, why not?
Yes, if it is to help the sub in the ways I mentioned above. No if it is required for someone to be a dom.
2) Did you ever participated in findom? Would you? Why? Why not?
I currently have to ask my dom for certain things along with keeping a daily expenses record of everything I buy for him to see. I have been doing this for many, many months now. When I have spare money he will tell me how much to put away and save from it.
3) Would it be a turn-on? How for would you push it? Why?
As a sub, I don't find it a turn on at all but I also don't find it awful. Though I might get a little pouty if I really want something and he says no. But he will only say no to things I want, not to things I need. I guess I'm indifferent to it as a kink in the sub role and the only reason we do this at all is because I am TERRIBLE with money. So it helps me to pay bills on time, save money for emergencies, or for something expensive that I want.