Should I continue?

[LittleRayRay]

I was going to try to post it on another site and this site, and I was wondering if I should continue or not.

I was a girl who didn’t get out much, a girl who would just go to cheerleading and come home and study. I wasn’t a nerdy girl or anything like that, and I am still quite popular. But I was just different from who I am now. My mom used to say that behind every happening, a story lurks in its shadow. This is the story about what changed me forever.

The fall of last year is where this story takes place, and until that time I had only kept one secret from my mom. She used to say that my hair looked like a bucket of Strontium salt on fire. Red hair usually makes for a red temper, but not for me. The color red to me means health, courage, and a few other things. I thought of health because of my ample size, it was perfect- never a stretch mark like when my sister got them, or even a scar. Everything was smooth and creamy, except for one thing on the dip in my back, just above my ass. My feet were small, with pretty turquoise painted toenails most of the time; and my ankle styled a charm bracelet except for things like cheerleading and showers. It had little treasures from all over the world hanging on.

The girls I hung out with were on the cheer squad, and they all had more or less of the same build as me. The only girl that did things that the others thought as vulgar was a girl that was a little smaller then us-and we were all around 5’7”. Her name was Whitney Sampson; she was 5’5” and was the only one that wasn’t a virgin. She had sugar cherry blonde hair and 34b breasts, which fit her figure perfectly. Then, of course there was Tahnee Thanes, the tallest of the group who had a pixie blond hair cut and a great pair of long tan legs. She loved track, and every meet the team went to she would be a lap ahead of everyone when she was running in the mile. Once, her time was five minutes. Jan Vang was also on the Track Team and she was a girl who would say things she thought, when she thought them. Jan had black hair, which she kept in lusciously loose curls most of the time and she always worse her Jesus bracelet, even doing high jump.

My friends and I usually had a sleepover every other Friday. It rotated between Jan, Whitney, Me, and Tahnee. The weekend that this story is about, took place in Whitney’s cottage about a quarter mile from her house. We had just finished off a bag of Doritos and quarter of a bottle of Krug when Whitney’s brother, James, walked in. He had dark blond hair, startling blue mysterious eyes, and an amazing aurora about him. His hands were big, strong, and were marked with years of scars. He was 6’2” with a sexy voice straight from the movies. It melted in my ears.

What do you think? Keep it or scrap it? I have a plot outline, and lots of ideas. I think it would go in the 18+ though, for what I have planned lol.

[GoogleMaster]

The characters are well set up. I can picture what they look like. Keep going. I would love to see what adventure these girls get themselves into.

[Jacques]

Ooh (grrr- not) first response-

In short- no one here should be able to tell you whether to continue or not- ultimately, if you have ideas and you enjoy- you should keep writing even if no one says so- the only person whose opinion matters is you.

In long- your introduction already shows far better grasp of english and narrative than most, and the fact you've even written a 'prologue' is encouraging- there are hints in what you've written that you've planned further ahead and that you've considered the characters in more depth than "so and said- let's play truth or dare," "blah blah sexual stuff blah blah who cares...."

The only thing I might even add is that, unless it's integral to the plot, making an entire story 18+ excludes a lot of people from reading it who might otherwise enjoy it. If you have the patience, writing alternative chapters to those with 18+ content might allow more people to enjoy your story.

In any case- personally I like what you've written and think you should keep going- but what I think doesn't really matter at the end of the day....

[mrjd3000]

SOunds like it could be really good. I'd certainly like to hear more!

[moxie]

It seems promising to me.

[ShinyDemon]

I'd say most definately continue - the start is excellent, and if you keep this up it will be very well received by the readers.

[BettyBoop]

This sounds like it will be good, I don't usually read the stories here but this intrigues me.