[Non-Fiction] Beer+Cock+Pussy+Dog+Revenge=DAMN!

[Duttypunk]

This all happened 5 years ago (when we were all 12-15, i was 14)

Me and some of my m8s (4 bois, 8 girls) were playing a fairly standard truth or dare game at this old warehouse thing, this game lasted through most of the night and, obviously, we got more and more intoxicated as we played. Now me and my bois are purile at the best of times and this night was no exception.

At first we just dared the girls to kiss eachother and get their clothes off and finger themselves, shouting "WUPBOIIIIIIIII" everytime they did it and the girls dared us to give eachother handjobs and dry hump (which we do together anyway). Then an idea struck one of my bois (for now I'm gonna call him Freddy), "Zoe (fake name), lick the dogs asshole!"

We all had a bit of a "what the fuck" moment and just as we were about to pretend he didn't say anything, Zoe surprised us all by crawling over to the dog and plunging her tounge deep into the dog's ass. What was even more surprising was how sexy the whole thing was, not just for me but apparently for the dog as its "lipstick" came out.

We then all preceeded to dare eachother to do loads of stuff regarding the dog's cock such as licking it, kissing it, rubbing our own cocks against it, the dog was loving the attention.

Then Zoe told Freddy to do something particularly strange, she stopped paying any attention to the dog and, instead, dared Freddy to make out with Shelly (his own sister). After the stuff with the dog this was, like, no big deal so he went through with it.

I think Zoe must have got me and my bois group pschology down because we immediately, almost in unison, told him to fuck his sister. This was something he wasn't too happy with (duh) and he outright refused. She was kinda past the point of communication and just kinda rolled with whatever we did so we knew she'd just let it happen

Only problem was (for him anyway) he was still clearly erect so we just debagged him and basically forced him to do his sister. We didn't have to do much before he realised he was too weak, too drunk and too horny to stop us so he eventually started fucking her.

Zoey then led the dog to Freddy and tried to get the dog to fuck him in the ass which Freddy didn't object to at all (he had recieved anal sex before but still it was a fucking shock). Unfortunately (for our amusement) she couldn't get the dog to co-operate so she did something worse! She got one of those anti rape condom things, turned it inside out, wore it like a glove and fisted him.

Us bois just then took turns fucking him in the ass and then we beat him up abit. He passed out (from the booze, not the beatings) and we just left him there with his sister hugging him naked.

I went back and found Freddy about mid-day the next day passed out in the same place in a pool of blood, shit, cum and his own vomit (the only one that wasn't around his ass).

I stripped myself, flipped him over onto his back and dry-humped him whilst french-kissing him and his vomity (is that even a word) mouth, he kinda woke up but was too disorientated to figure out what was going on.

Another one of my bois filmed the whole thing (minus the morning after), everyone at our school got a copy and we beat him up publicly for it.

The best part: He still came to the next TorD party!

[Dravién]

And then you woke up.
Nice try, but it's obviously fiction.

[Mythologist]

And if not, I can't imagine there weren't some SERIOUS consequences shortly afterwards.

[MasterPain]

shock value = lame

this is about as bad as gilbert gottfired "aristrocrat joke"

This joke almost always has these elements—alternative versions may change this form, but such versions tend to assume that the audience is already familiar with the joke:[citation needed]

The setup: The joke always begins with a family act going in to see a talent agent.
Those who meet the agent can include the whole family, or just one family member (usually the father).
The agent asks (sometimes after saying that he is not interested, and a plea from the father) what they do.
If the whole family is present, the act may be performed for the agent, rather than described.
There is also the possibility of a neutral observer telling the tale of seeing the performance to the talent agent.
The act: It is described in as much detail as the teller prefers.
While most tellings follow one of a few basic forms, the description of the act is meant to be an ad lib.
Traditionally, the description is crude, tasteless, and ribald. The goal is to cross social boundaries, and acts such as violence, incest, rape, pedophilia, coprophilia, bestiality, and murder are common themes.
The punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is: "The Aristocrats!"
The punchline may be modified in some variants, but generally such variants are told only in a context in which the original joke is known.
Because the sense of what an aristocrat is has faded in many countries, the final line may simply be seen as the end of a rather bawdy joke rather than a punchline. In some regions the name of the act is "The Sophisticates" or "The Debonaires".
The humor of the punch line is in the contrast between the abject horror of the scene described with the unexpectedly noble title "The Aristocrats".
Some versions of the punchline contain the set-up line "What the heck do you call an act like that?" followed by the punchline "I call it 'The Aristocrats'." The added set-up value of this version of the joke, in which the pitchman misunderstands the meaning of the phrase "What the heck do you call [that]?" as a request for information, when it is in fact meant to be an expression of incredulity or bewilderment, is lost in other tellings of the joke, with the simpler but less sensible question asked by the agent: "What do you call your act?"