Would people stop being so rude on other peoples threads!

[slaveblondie]

Okay, so I've been here a while. And I've begun to find something slowly changing about the site and the way the users interact with each other. I'm sure I'm about to hit a raw nerve here, with both the people who agree and don't agree with what I'm about to say.

Here's my problem and it's the users on this site, who seem to take it upon themselves to judge and comment on the actions and decisions of other people, in a negative, judgemental, and to be honest, very rude way. Since when has this site been a place where peoples idea's and requests are to be comdemned by other users, simply because they may not agree with it? I won't name any names, but a thread was made in the 'request punishment section' along the lines of 'I've cheated' Someone actually wrote in response 'You digust me' purely because they had asked for punishments from the getdare community. Now I may be wrong, but I think a very large proportion of the site are probably cheating on partners, even if purely in the sense that they come on here, and their partners don't know. Now I am sorry if people disaagree with me, but since when had getdare been a community that judges peoples decisons based on their sexual preferences and how those particular people deal with their own private relationships.

Personally I am getting sick of some users behaving this way, and I have stopped coming on as much as I used to. This used to be a place I found safe and informative. I now find that there is a growing culture of condemnation towards some people. Now please don't get me wrong, I am not referring to the users who suggest safer ways to do dares or punishments, or to dissuade or condemn idea's that are dangerous or lifethreating, to themselves or other people. In fact, I find that side of the site brilliant. I am merely referring to the judgmental attitude some users have when they don't agree with someone, or they read soemthing that they would maybe not do themselves etc. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. I really wish this would be more controlled by admin, though I do feel they do a great job anyways sorting out the site and running it for us already. I just wish there could be some way of stopping this negative backlash that some posts get. To be quite honest, if you think that something is morally wrong then that is fine, but the people posting obviously don't feel that way, and that doesn't make either of you in the wrong or right. If you don't morally agree with someone, then you are completely within your right not to, but you don't have the right to lecture other people.

I don't understand why people can't just advise, not condemn.

Okay rant over,

SB xx

[yours_slave]

I completely second this thread...except I don't think moderators here can do much quality job than what they are already doing. Even the moderators can stop the rudeness up to some point. Otherwise people will call it as a'Halting the freedom of speech'. So I really don't think they can engage with that rudeness problem more than what they are currently doing. I don't know. Just my two cents. But I 100% agree with your other points.

[doubledownrob]

This is a problem that has to be fixed by the community, not the mods. I strongly disagreed with the negativity in that thread, but the response is to call them out (such as with this post), not to get the mods to censor people. Much as i wish they wouldn't, people have the right to be dicks. its the price we pay for an otherwise excellent site.

[yours_slave]

Originally Posted by doubledownrob

This is a problem that has to be fixed by the community, not the mods. Much as i wish they wouldn't, people have the right to be dicks..

I'm totally with you on this two points. People will pay for what they have done sooner or later. I read an article and saw there are 'benzene' like things producing in our body when we are being rude. And it's not good for our health. I'm worse when it comes to Biology and I cannot find that post now. If anyone know about that, please feel free to share.

Anyway you still can report such a rude post according the site rules.

Originally Posted by depp

* Content *
Don't flame - be respectful to other users. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. Keep criticism constructive.
Use proper spelling and grammar as best you can. "AOL speak" will get your posts removed. Eg. "d0 u w4nt ne darez d00d?"
Don't use this site to advertise any service or site you may have.
Posted links must be appropriate for a wide age range or pertain directly to the discussion. Linking to a bondage resource would be fine. Linking to a porn site would not be.
Please use the private messaging system to post content that might offend others.
Try to keep safety and respect for human life in mind when posting.
Please keep threads on topic. This includes not nitpicking other people’s posts. If someone’s post sucks, then so be it. If it breaks a rule, then report it.
Inappropriate contact between adults and minors on this site will result in a ban and may result in the contacting of authorities.

- Quoted from the thread 'getDare Posting Rules [read before posting]'

There are many things we follow and many techniques we use when it comes to formal online communication, such as we don't use all capital sentences (Because it's same as yelling at someone in real life). But as getDare is a community, there are different kind of people here and we don't have to be OVER polite here (We are talking here in a informal way). However I would like to suggest all the members to double check your posting before you hit the 'Submit Reply' button, when you are in a angry mood. Just a suggestion. Only Interested people can try that!

[depp]

If you see people being really mean, please report. I'm not always around to catch things but I try and someone will see your report.

[Kewai]

Thank you, I completely agree with everyone here; some people can just be plain rude and offensive. I am not a perfect person, but if I see something that I don't like or disagree with I will either reply in an appropriate, polite manner or not reply at all

I don't want to sound over-negative but I agree, some people's attitude can disgust me. Here is an example

Originally Posted by sexyboi

The stories have been decreasing in skill, namely because your all very very shit writers. I, along with people who can actually spell, would appreciate it if you didn't write a story if you have no fucking clue how to spell or use proper grammar. Thank you wankers, goodbye.

I know that by posting on this thread I wont achieve much. But I beg you; If you have bothered to read this please, please think before you post.

I love this site and don't want to see it dragged down by people who do not have the decency to think before they post.

I apologize for the bluntness of my post, but I wanted to share my opinion

[rhode64]

Hey if we were all the same it would be a very boring world and people are entitled to live and do as they like as long as it doesnt affect anyone else .Ours is not to judge .If you have an opinion thats fine .However there is no need to be rude or judgemental.
We are all here to have fun so please no nastiness.

[CollaredBlondie]

If you're going to quote me, at least name me.

I later went on to partly explain why I was so rude; not every reason but I don't see why I should have to explain every last reason to a bunch of people who probably don't care.

Also; I'm not like some users who post something rude every other post. That's probably one of the few times I've lost my temper. Yes, I could've done it more tastefully, and I probably would've done if the original subject matter was different.

[Invisible]

I can only speak for myself but as one of the people that contributed to the rudeness on that thread there are times on this site that you do see crap that makes you react.

Being rude is not the best reaction and I do regret my role in that, but there you go - we are all human.

[theone]

Some things have a very fine dividing line and the dividing line between freedom of speech and anarchy is very fragile. What one person regards as liberty and liberation another sees as fault and lawlessness.

It is difficult to always know a person’s intent from their comments on an internet board like this and some people do tend to make judgements based on unsubstantiated assumptions. We all have our own values and principles it’s how we handle them in interactions that counts.

Yes things have got wildly and dangerously out of control before and I have seen some long standing members leave under some distress. It’s a shame when this happens because they have shown some degree of trust to the community only to find that getDare is not always that place where you can be yourself. There is a wide range of people and ages here and suspicion is rampant because of the many real problems.

Categories exist within the structure and if you don’t fall into the required mould then you will be regarded with suspicion, that’s just how it is.
There is really only one answer and that is don’t let the judgement of others infringe on your own experience and sensibilities. Some people like to do things just for effect, they like the drama that their comments provoke. The same people soon get bored when you don’t “play” with them.

My own input is that I try to be friendly and helpful and frequently resort to using the trusty tool of cynicism. Although Im not around here that much now. It's not as friendly a place as it used to be.

Having said all that some people do post dangerous and irresponsible stuff here and that sometimes invokes comment.

[yours_slave]

It's never okay to be rude, in person or online. But it's a fact of life that we have to learn to accept because we cannot change other people, only our ownselves and our perceptions. Even though we can change others, I don't see we can do it in getDare and I'm not here to teach lessons and I'm sure most of the people here are not for that.

After CB has replied, I searched that thread and I read it. I'm glad I didn't see that thread otherwise I'll have a 'Temporary posting probation'. In that case, I'm completely with her. That thread was actually disgusting. She could have replied to that thread in a much polite manner. But I don't see why should she bother to control her anger. That thread deserve it. I don't think we have to be polite for EVERY disgusting threads and there are situations, people MUST talk rude when something actually bad happens here. Now, at least the OP of that thread knows not all the people here are interested in giving dares for a women like her. I usually don't encourage rudeness. But in this special case, Yes, I don't see any wrong. Otherwise people will think all the people are like that.

P.S Don't reply to me before you read that post. And I'm still with slaveblondie's points. It's just, what she has said don't apply to CollaredBlondie's Post. There are many rude users out there who are normally rude to even NORMAL threads. So this thread is still valid for SUCH users.

[slaveblondie]

Hey,

CB I didn't mention your name because I didn't think it was appropriate. I don't agree with anyone commenting in that way towards anyone. Yes there are many other example, but as you are a distinguished member, it was not at all to the standard I expect from you. I found it incredibly rude and for someone that has clearly built up a reputation on here, ( a good one may I add) I thought it was completely out of line. As another user wrote further down in that thread, there are many reasons as to why they could have written that. It is not anyones place to judge, I'm sure we all do things that other people wouldn't approve of. It was distasteful and I don't really see how you can justify it by saying you 'lost your temper'.

But it is not purely about that specific thread, I do agree it needs to be more of a community effort. It does happen everywhere in many threads, in all the different forums. Perhaps users could slightly chide the people who do flame other peoples threads, in an effort to show them that it's not okay here.

I don't know the absolute solution, but if users are more aware of it, then it's easier to tackle.

SB xx