[Fiction] ✖✖ St. Krystal's School for Girls: The Fox & The Hedgehog ✖ (Incomplete)

[Destiny15]

It took me a while to catch up but I love your story. The part about the class confused me until I read the comments, I guess thats what I get for forgetting to read titles. I can't wait to read more.

[PinkHeart]

O_O A.... Odd turn of events.

[Feudal]

Nice! ;-) Not had a chance to check in for a while - but I love the story you are creating Leo.

[Leopard]

Originally Posted by b0ris

I think I speak for more readers then just myself when I say that I can easily forgive you that tiny "worried of" mistake. There is much worse grammar out there and this wasn't even the story itself.

Even though English is only my third language, I'm often baffled by the amount of mistakes against very basic rules: he=>his she=>her for example; I'm not even talking about there/their/they're...

And then, my dear friend Leo, it is very nice to read another part of your one of your stories. So, once again: thank you.

It's sad but the people with terrible and spelling and grammar are not the people for whom English is a second or third language. I would love it if native speakers would show the same appreciation for English as those learning it after their own native language.

And for everyone who says it doesn't matter: it's a shame you think so little of communication and connecting with others.

Originally Posted by angel's heart

after reading this story, a question pops into mind: Who is your favorite character?

It actually changes quite a bit. When I began the story, Evie was the only PoV character, so naturally she was my favourite, but the moment Nicole appeared, she instantly took over. More recently my favourites have been Hannah and Emily.

With that in mind...

[Leopard]

I'd really appreciate it if anyone who's reading my story would take a few moments to answer a few questions for me! Answers can be as simple or long and complex as you like - any sort of feedback is much appreciated.

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?

4. What's your favourite scene?

5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.

[Star Shadows]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?
Yea I love it- and not just because im bias- its really well written and interesting throught, and unlike a lot of the stuff on here its understandable and considered rather than a load of jibberish.

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?
Either Nicole or Alyssa though both of them together is even better I just really love how their characters behave and how they think. *that and I may have a slight fictional crush on them*

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?
The teacher dude that Alyssa submits to, he freaks me out, but thats kinda the point, i dont think i really have a least fave though.

4. What's your favourite scene?
The Nicole and Alyssa scenes around 34-44 ish ( i know some of them are the other side of the plotline but shh) they are superbly written
5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.
Not sure xx

[Vela]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?
Yes, I love this story! Your writing is amazing and the plot line is yummy.

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?
I like Hannah, because she seems really cute and silly, and I like how she tries to keep up with the older/more experienced girls.

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?
I think Gemma is kinda boring. It's not that I don't like her, I just think her character is underdeveloped.

4. What's your favourite scene?
I like the very beginning train scenes when Evie frisks and has her randevu.

5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?
Not really.

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.
I'm not sure. I like the way it's headed now. :3

[DoUReallyWantToKnow]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?
I love this story! It is well-written, engaging, damnsexy as Hell and the best story on here. What makes it stand out most from the others is the way that the story flows seamlessly & entertainingly from scene to scene, keeping the reader's constant interest, and how it mixes just the right amount of sex & kinkiness with plot, which is something that many truth-or-dare stories lack; you take the story slow and describe in detail how everything plays out, effectively as if it was an erotic novel rather than just a story.

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?
I love so many of them but I think that I would have to say Hannah; the way that she deals with the whole sex-thing, which is very new to her, is hilarious & clever at the same time. It's also nice to have someone to whom the characters can explain things, because through that method you can explain things to the reader. I also love her relationship with Emily, and how Emily herself has a sort of split-personality - the slightly shy, self-conscious girl and the dominant ruthless one she becomes when aroused. I also love Evie, just because of her pluckiness (like when she dared herself at the beginning of the story, and also recently when she chose to grit her teeth and strip off rather than protest)

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?
Alyssa's master-like figure is someone I'm not rushing to see more of, although that's of course up to you. I find in a world of wonderful original characters that you've created, he sticls out as a stereotype, and to be honest one of the things I love about this story is the fact that it features primarily female characters. Am kinda sick to death of 'master' figures in other stories... bring on the lesbians! ;D lol

4. What's your favourite scene?
I love so many of them but my favourite has to be the poker-truth-or-dare game that the girls play in the train carriage. I learned how to play poker for one thing lol ;D but it's also got just the right amount of everything; plot, suggestiveness & then all-out sex. The extra rules that they kept adding in were entrancing, and I just really loved that scene in general. Also loved Evie daring herself at the start, the second game where Evie had to change the pillows (genius; just the right balance of humour & torture), Alyssa giving Nicole the enemas, and (just because of the cliffhanger...) the most recent scene, in the classroom.

5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?
I have found the whole story thoroughly engaging & excellent, though I'm slightly many disapointed that we didn't see more of the second poker game. Alyssa's punishing of Nicole took centre stage there & I kept hoping for an Evie update instead, but that was just good writing as you'd created a great cliffhanger haha


6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.
This story has so much potential that there are so many things that I'd love to see it do, but I'm sure that you have plenty of cool stuff waiting ahead, Leo It'd be nice to see more of Hannah and Emily, concerning both their relationship and Hannah's new roommate... I also like the idea that the school uses a more humiliating or physical form of punishment than is conventional (e.g. I don't know, tied to an outside statue and left there naked for being impertinent for example? I'm not sure, you're the expert). I like that you use a mix of sex with mild bondage & torture to spice their games up, and it would be interesting to see other dares come into play now that they have arrived at the school. Keep up the current balance & add in whatever else comes into your mind, and that's good enough for me!! ;D Just to say, Leo, I am a huge fan of your writing. This is really great quality stuff - keep it up!

[iceman713]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?
yes, there is so much details in the story that i can get lost in it

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?
Evie, because she is so innocent

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?
The Dom Teacher, he has a very pretty girl on her knees in front of him and he doesn't like her at all

4. What's your favourite scene?
The first evie train scene

5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?
None at all

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.
More evie being in control

[Destiny15]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not? Yes I love it. When I first saw the title I skipped past it but one day I started reading it and I couldn't stop. Your writing is amazing , I am in love with the characters, and the plot always stays so interesting.

2. Who is your favourite character? Why? I love Nicole. She is so strong and I am always so excited to see what happens to her next.

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why? At first I would have had to say Alyssa, but now I don't think I hate any of your characters.

4. What's your favourite scene? My favorite scene would have to be where you hear what happened from Nicole's perspective of when her and Evie met.

5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand? No I can't get enough of your story.

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes. I can't wait to see what happens between Evie and Nicole, but what ever you do in the future is going to be great.

[owlart]

1. Do you like the story? Why/Why not?
I live the story Leo! The quality of the writing is so good, and the character development, plot and the way the story keeps swapping from one girl to another is just perfect! It's a joy to read.

2. Who is your favourite character? Why?
Oh, a hard one, but possibly either Evie or Emily. I love the way there's that mix of dominant and submissive within them. Plus, you're never quite sure what they're going to do, or how far they'll go next!

3. Who is your least favourite character? Why?
Definitely the teacher guy, he's creepy.

4. What's your favourite scene?
Probably the scene where Evie gets the crotchrope and has to make the beds. I can't help wondering if you'd tried out that scene with someone first?


5. Were any bits really boring, or that you didn't understand?
Nothing's boring, and I'm sure anything that's maybe not completely clear now will be cleared up in chapters to come.

6. Are there any scenes that you'd like to see (more of)? i.e. Character romances/kinks/fetishes.
No, I think you're doing just fine as it is, looking forward to reading lots more of this story! Thanks Leo!

[Leopard]

Originally Posted by owlart

4. What's your favourite scene?
Probably the scene where Evie gets the crotchrope and has to make the beds. I can't help wondering if you'd tried out that scene with someone first?

Yes, someone did have to try it - several times ^^ not sure if she'd want me posting the report on here though xD

Thanks for all the feedback everyone - and remember, if there are negative things, you're quite welcome to say them - the stuff that could be improved actually helps a lot more with making the story better.

Part 52 will be up tonight/tomorrow, just redoing a few parts.

[Leopard]

Evie

Evie dropped her bra to the floor, where it was quickly scooped up by a waiting classmate.

The girl stared up at Evie's breasts, her eyes hungry, a gaze that spoke of a strong desire to cause pain.

Shivering, unsure whether she was afraid or aroused – probably a bit of both – Evie brought her hands up to cover her breasts.

'Stop wasting time covering yourself,' the teacher snapped. 'Get those disgusting granny panties off so that we don't have to look at them again.'
Evie did as she was told, hooking her fingers into the sides of her panties, then frowned. She could feel a warmth spreading through her crotch. That didn't make any sense. Why would she get wet now?

Fuck it, Evie thought, angry now. Angry at the situation she was in, angry at her body for apparently enjoying it. Let's just get this over with.

Bending over double to slide her panties down, Evie stepped out of them, rebelliously tossing them in the waiting girl's face.

'Utterly cultureless,' the girl sniffed in a nasal, posh voice. She turned on her heel and marched to the front of the classroom, disposing of Evie's underwater in the bin.

Evie watched her go, the realisation dawning that as embarrassing as the underwear had been, she had nothing at all to cover her anymore. Unconsciously her hands moved to cover herself.

'You like being naked on display for the class so much that you've even started masturbating in front of us all?' The teacher asked in a surprised tone. Evie still couldn't see him, but she was sure he had one raised eyebrow. He was just too cliché not to.

'I'm not—' Evie began, but then stopped. She was!

She'd never intended to touch herself, only cover up. Yet her traitorous fingers had hooked up into her slit, pressing against the hood of her clit and began rubbing in small circles. And now that she'd started, she couldn't seem to stop herself.

'Get down from there, slut,' the teacher snapped. 'Up to the front of the class.'

Evie did as she was told, hopping lightly down from her desk, extremely red-faced now realising that she'd apparently lost all control of her ability to not masturbate, continuing to rub herself even as she walked to the front of the classroom.

'She's still going,' she heard the teacher mutter derisively to the other students. As Evie turned to face the class, her fingers still working at her clit, the teacher raised his head took look at her. 'I will not stand for this sort of behaviour, Miss Crow,' he told her.

'I— I can't help it,' Evie stammered, confused at her inability to control her own body, baffled as to why she was even aroused in a situation like this. It was as if she wasn't just being given orders, but that her physical movements themselves were literally under someone else's control.

'Yes, yes, I know,' the teacher replied, shaking his head. 'You're just that much of a horny slut. Fortunately I have just the thing to put you to use.'

'What would that be, Sir?' Evie asked, her voice catching on a particularly lovely sensation shooting up through her body.

'There's a student group from our brother school touring the grounds today,' the teacher said. 'You can entertain them for the afternoon. We'll tie you to a desk at the back of the class so that you're not too much of a distraction, and let each one take you in turn. I'm certain your fellow students will find your moans and then screams a most compelling reason to concentrate on their studies, the way you seem unable to.'

Evie's eyes went wide. She wanted to pretend she was horrified, but it wasn't true. The idea of a series of cocks to fuck her sounded seriously appealing right now.

She slid two fingers inside herself, well aware of what she was doing this time. It wasn't like there was any point hiding that she was masturbating when her fingers would apparently continue to do so whether she wanted or not. And she was very wet.

'Maybe having thirty or so cocks pound your dirty asshole will satisfy a slut like you,' the teacher said.

Evie blinked.

'Thirty?' she gasped. In my ass? All of them?

'I don't remember the exact number of visiting boys, but I'm sure you'll keep count and report to the class later on,' the teacher told her, approaching the desk. He brushed past her and took his place at the top of the class. 'We can't have them using your cunt, of course – no doubt a filthy whore like you would simply ask for more when they're done with you. You can't even keep your own fingers out of it now, while being lectured before the class. So we'll take you to the textiles room first, have one of the girls there sew it up.'

I— sew— what?!

[owlart]

Originally Posted by Leopard

Yes, someone did have to try it - several times ^^ not sure if she'd want me posting the report on here though xD

lol, it sounded as though you'd tried it one on someone! I'm sure she'd rather you didn't post the report up here though, even if it would make interesting reading!


Thanks for the new Chapter, superb quality in the writing, as ever! Looking forward to reading the next few parts...

[Clarabelle]

Very nice chapter Leo and an interesting turn of events cannot wait for more