Why S/M is NOT for underage?

[yours_slave]

It’s a known bitter truth that many underage girls and boys are like to explore the S/m area and most of them are trying to be slaves or masters. There is nothing wrong in exploring that area when you become an adult. But S/m is strictly not for children. There are some reasons why I’m writing this.

1. I need to tell and do whatever I can do to protect kids from S/m and lustful people in the world. This thread may be insignificant and I may be insignificant in this community. But I want to do what I can.

2. As we all can see, getDare staff is putting so much effort to NOT to involve underage girls and boys in to S/m. They are doing an excellent job by banning the underage accounts who is trying to involve in S/m and by thrashing the underage S/m posts. I need to help them as much as I can.

3. Isn’t it so sad to see people are involving children to fulfill their lustful desires? I have a real ache inside me and I need to at least tell the world that there are people who don’t like it and we are trying our best to stop it.

As an underage girl/boy, why shouldn’t you participate in S/M?

If S/m is good for your age, why there is a legal age limit for that?

Well, the sentence above does not clear the main question. It’s another question rather than an answer to the main question. So I’ll try to clear it up more.

First, a person must involve in S/m with so much responsibility and with a good education about sexual activities. There is very less probability that children are having good education knowledge about sex and they are responsible persons. No offense for children here. There are some children who are responsible and educated than adults. But I’m talking generally.

Second, a person must grow physically to be ELIGILBLE to have sex. I hope everyone can understand what I’m telling here. I’m not good in Biological science so I’m not going to explain this in detail. If anyone is good in Biology, s/he is welcome to explain it.

Third, children must learn about rest of the things (Especially about the anatomy of human body and re production of mankind) before they peek in to S/m. S/m is not just sex and it’s not a game. It’s whole lot more than normal sex.

Fourth, S/m is not a Fairytale you are reading when you are going to bed. Masters are not Mickey Mouse and Slaves are not Scooby Doo. S/m is a really nice thing which a person can have so much pleasure with. But not to forget that if we hurry and if we fall in to wrong hands, there is nothing worse than that in your sexual life. If you involve with S/m activities in your child age and if you fall in to a trouble, are you capable of overcome the situation?

Above are some main points for why children should NOT participate in S/m. There are many.

If you encounter with a tragic situation in S/m lifestyle, when you are underage, you will never try that lifestyle again. So please be patience. Do things when it’s right time to do it. Do not hurry yourself. There are tons of things to try at your age but NOT S/m! Wait until you are ready for it. Do not eat the cake when your stomach is not yet ready to take it!

Is getDare is a good place for children?

Of course it is. Most of the people here really DO CARE about children. getDare is having a very high quality system to prevent underage users from falling in to S/m. As long as you do not participate in to S/m activities here, you are very welcome to hang with us. getDare is having many other interesting sections where all can participate and have fun. And don’t hesitate to ask any help or questions when you are in trouble or when you need an advice.

I’m an adult (24 years old, so yeah, I’m an adult I guess) but personally, Lounge is the section I like most. Believe me, it’s cool than S/m sections. I don’t know, just a personal thought anyway.

If you are an underage User, what should you do if someone here tries to involve you with S/m activity?

I really hope that you will never encounter with such a disgusting situation. Even if someone asks you anything about S/m, it may because s/he doesn’t know that you are underage. So just tell them that you are underage and if the person has a brain, s/he must understand what it means.

If someone is annoying you and repeatedly asking about involving in S/m, please IMMEDIATELY CONTACT A MODERATOR. I’m sure moderators will then take an appropriate action. Do not waste any second or do not hesitate to contact a moderator when you are in a trouble. getDare staff is always dedicated and helpful to children when it comes to illegal situations.

What should you do when you see there is an underage S/m activity going on?

If it’s a thread, use the report button and report the thread. It’s the fastest way to stop the activity.

If it’s in the chat, there is a link at the bottom of the page to report the incident. Use that link and report the incident.

If the situation is none of the above, please do contact a moderator.

As a getDarian, what is your responsibility on underage S/m problem?

Sometimes there are underage boys/girls are asking to be slaves. Please do not take them as your slave/master. Sad truth is half of the number of responses I got for my Master advert is from underage females. As everyone is rejecting them, they are in need of a slave/master. Explain them why you are not taking them as your slave/master. Do not ever contribute to the growing tragic underage S/m problem.

Message for Mods

Thank you very much for having such a good system to prevent falling underage users in to S/m. Please continue protecting them. Appreciate the good work which has done!

I cannot think where I should post this thread, but I need it to see by all users (Including underage Users). So that’s why I posted it in lounge. Be my guest and please move it to the appropriate section if this is wrong section to post it.

Many underage Users will not listen to me because Horny is greater than Common sense (Quoted from Nellybell). But at least one will do. This thread is for that ‘One’.

[Manbearpig]

An excellent post. I am going to leave a copy here since this is probably where it can get the most views and most conversation going on about it. I have also copied and stickied this to the S/M thread as an FYI post.

[SirDraco7]

I applaud you for this. As I agree with many of your points, and would like to discourage underage activities as much as possible.

I Do disagree however with your comments about Why they shouldn't participate.
You are correct in what you said, however I believe that it will go over many of their heads. It's like saying "don't have sex until you are an adult or are married" Some Might listen, but a vast majority would not.

That and some other comments:
your first point.. there are many adults that I have met who are uneducated twits and some kids who are wiser and more mature than many 30 and 40 year olds. As such education and level of education or intelligence shouldn't be a part of the topic in my opinion.

second point - men can have sex as young as 11 I believe, and women(for obvious reasons) younger still. Girls can have babies as young as 11ish I believe? So pointing this point out also might lead some into thinking.. or knowing that they are ok to participate.

third and fourth - you don't explain or point out enough here to be useful.



There are boys and girls as young as 14/15 wanting to or desiring or playing with BDSM and such games. With books and movies and pictures that are so easy to get compared to when I was a kid I can't blame them really.
In my opinion you should focus on educating. Point out websites or resources that might help them or make them wait.
We can stop it here, on this site, but not in general.


Focus on 3 main points.

1) Safety. This is key. Especially for girls and even moreso for subs. Grind into them how submitting can lead to bad things. How being bound can lead to even worse things. How trust is very important. And how, at this age everyone is still growing and exploring sexually, that they shouldn't trust anyone sexually. At least not right off the bat and not for the first 6 months to a year at a minimum.
and go from there.

2) speed. Focus on encouraging them to slow down. If they are dead set on doing it, you can't stop them, so do your best to encourage them to take slower steps. Explain that they are in an experimental phase in their life. They should learn about everything and not jump right in. They should start slow, so that trust can be built up. They should go slow, so they learn what they like and dislike, and not bite off more than they can chew. etc.

3) Experience. This may seem odd and weird, but encourage them to focus on normal sex before exploring BDSM and S/M. learn and try different acts and positions and grow sexually before adding something crazy like BDSM into the mix. BDSM complicates things and can take away from things. Focus on YOU until you have more experience. then journey into BDSM where you need to focus on OTHERS. which brings much more responsibility. And I can imagine stress.



Just my opinion. I very much agree with the main theme and the rest of the document. Anyone 18+ should not be interacting with anyone younger for any reason.

[Maggy]

I think the major point made here was regarding the consequences of delving into the S&M world at such a young age.

It's true, your body isn't ready for that treatment, usually until one reaches the age of around 20. Sure, you can do it when you're maybe 17 or 18, but it'll leave marks that you just can't get rid of.

Then there are the people that specifically target you for your age. As masochistic as you are to step into submission, do you really want it to turn out that you've been manipulated, violated and generally used by someone three times your age? You may think you know the people you surround yourselves with but you'd be surprised how many of them simply lie to get what they want. It's called Social Engineering and it's considered an art form.

If you're one of the all too frequent group of people that lost their virginity before the legal age, I can see why it'd fill you with a sense of confidence. It may lead you to think "it doesn't matter if I start getting randy with this total stranger, it's not like I havn't had sex before." No offence, but at your age the men around you just arn't "big" enough to match the kind of strain that a real s&m session can put on your body...

However, all that "important" stuff being said, my biggest regret had nothing to do with physical consequences or legalities... When you delve into such a complicated fetish at such a young age, the appeal of that fetish grows on you. It gets to the point where, when you masturbate, you only really enjoy it when thinking about, in this case, S&M. Eventually, you get so used to it that you can't really enjoy a simple romantic night's worth of sex. You can ride your partner until orgasm, and they might even enjoy it... but you wont. You'll be craving pain and degradation as if it were a cigarette. To you, average sex would become like tofu or a veggy burger. Not real, not satisfying... It gets the job done, but you wont be happy. I strongly suggest you stay away and don't get yourself addicted, at least until you're old enough and you've at least tried something a little more mainstream... Otherwise you'll find your partner doesn't share the same interests as you and you'll be forced to lie to yourself for the rest of your time together.

It's just not worth it.

Sowisa.

[yours_slave]

Thank you for explaining what I have left out Maggy!

@ManBearPig: I'm glad that I could do something for getDarians. Thank you very much for your compliment and making it as a sticky!

[fred&ted]

Amazing post! I agreed with almost everything you mentioned, You obviously put alot of effort into this thread just to make people know why it is not for underage people.

[yours_slave]

Originally Posted by fred&ted

Amazing post! I agreed with almost everything you mentioned, You obviously put alot of effort into this thread just to make people know why it is not for underage people.

Thank you very much for the encouraging words! Yeah I have spent half the day time of my day off to prepare that thread. I had to constantly check spellings and grammar mistakes. But I really needed to post that thread. So I took my time

[Philosophical]

Originally Posted by Maggy

However, all that "important" stuff being said, my biggest regret had nothing to do with physical consequences or legalities... When you delve into such a complicated fetish at such a young age, the appeal of that fetish grows on you. It gets to the point where, when you masturbate, you only really enjoy it when thinking about, in this case, S&M. Eventually, you get so used to it that you can't really enjoy a simple romantic night's worth of sex. You can ride your partner until orgasm, and they might even enjoy it... but you wont. You'll be craving pain and degradation as if it were a cigarette. To you, average sex would become like tofu or a veggy burger. Not real, not satisfying... It gets the job done, but you wont be happy. I strongly suggest you stay away and don't get yourself addicted, at least until you're old enough and you've at least tried something a little more mainstream... Otherwise you'll find your partner doesn't share the same interests as you and you'll be forced to lie to yourself for the rest of your time together.

I'd like to thank you for sharing this.

More really needs to be said about the problems of addiction and dependence to BDSM - it's entirely possible to go so far down the rabbit hole that you can't get back out on your own, sometimes a person won't even realise they've fallen in.

It doesn't just effect younger people either, it's effected me too in the past.

[Star Shadows]

This is a really valuable post to the site; and one I wish id seen when I was 16. I was one of the many that learned the hard way that S/M really isn't for the underaged.

A lot of what has been said, from not being physically ready down to simply not being aware of the dangers that face them. But also for so many reasons I found out first hand.

Along with the points made about the fact that not everyone here is a nice person, and the risks of being hurt, and not knowing what to do about it there is also the element that Maggy raised so well. The risk of dependency can be very high, and it isn't pretty. It's one of the main reasons that I am now so strongly against it. I ended up really badly dependant on it when I crashed out of my relationship. I felt like I couldn't live without a dom, and ended up submitting because I felt I had to, rather than because I wanted to.

Believe me, as much as the lifestyle seems so alluring now and it seems like something you cannot wait to get involved in, it is not worth it. There are so much more important things that you could be doing, so much more fun that could be had. Dont get caught out. The law is the law for a reason.

[Maggy]

Glad to know I'm not just talking rubbish. I actually, for a while, thought it was unusual that one could become so dependant on a fetish for degradation just to have a successfull relationship; that there might be something wrong with me.

A while ago, however, I watched a movie that- when it comes to an addiction to bdsm- describes things pretty accurately. If anyone's having doubts about wether or not one could try something like this and be able to give it up, I strongly suggest you watch Secretary, based on the short story "Bad Behaviour" by Mary Gaitskill. If ever there was a generic biography for the lives of those trapped in this bdsm world, this would be it.

[Star Shadows]

Originally Posted by Maggy

Glad to know I'm not just talking rubbish. I actually, for a while, thought it was unusual that one could become so dependant on a fetish for degradation just to have a successfull relationship; that there might be something wrong with me.

A while ago, however, I watched a movie that- when it comes to an addiction to bdsm- describes things pretty accurately. If anyone's having doubts about wether or not one could try something like this and be able to give it up, I strongly suggest you watch Secretary, based on the short story "Bad Behaviour" by Mary Gaitskill. If ever there was a generic biography for the lives of those trapped in this bdsm world, this would be it.

I know people RL from the lifestyle that because of reasons xy or z and often starting too early they now cant experience sexual satisfaction in "normal" circumstances, some in a far more severe way than others so yea its a very real thing.

[Dark_Delight]

All your points fall apart when we are talking about 15 to 17 yo people.

[Star Shadows]

Originally Posted by Dark_Delight

All your points fall about when we are talking about 15 to 17 yo people.

I was 16 when I became dependant on s/m. as were many of the people I know rl who had similar problems. They still pose a risk,

[Maggy]

Yeah, most people here tend to keep this lifestyle to themselves and I wasn't really aruond anyone that was into it. I pretty much went through the whole of high school, right up till today thinking I'm the only person I know that has any idea what it's like. But I guess that'll all get listed in that half arsed blog of mine xD

Anyway, I think yours_slave deserves a medal and this thread should definitely find somewhere permanent when the conversation begins to slow. That way people'll see it even if they join up afterwards.

[Dark_Delight]

Originally Posted by Star Shadows

I was 16 when I became dependant on s/m. as were many of the people I know rl who had similar problems. They still pose a risk,

No more then a 20 to 30 yo