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Old 09-17-2016, 03:24 AM   #1
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Default Are desperate male subs driving female members away ???

I had one desperate girl, not long ago, write me and thank me for the dares but she was getting out of getDare because of the number of requests to be a guys mistress and when she said no it turned into hateful abuse.

She was fun, she has gone. So I wanted to know how bad it was.

First I watched signatures of new female members who were looking for fun. Initially it may not say that person is not looking to be owned or own someone, but it very quickly gets added to the signature.

Next I wrote to some of the girls for feedback. New members initially and then a couple of the older female members and the pattern quickly emerged.

A thread would be posted asking for dares.
PM box would light up like a roman candle with requests to be owned. In boxes would get filled up. (Within minutes in some cases, depending on time of day.)

Reactions varied:

1. Some ignored the requests and the follow up shit that came through but stopped general play until it calmed down. The ones who took this action are generally 21+
2.Some ignored the requests and deleted the requests, even if it meant that he stubborn ones had to be deleted several times over
3. Some were polite in saying no and would then receive abusive/hate mail in return.
4. Others went underground and kept in touch with the few people they had met, until they felt they could emerge and enjoy the site without hassle.
5. And the final group? they wouldn't have replied because there was only ever one message on their thread, the request for fun and the public reply of, do you want to be my mistress?

This is not good guys. Kink Talk is already a predominantly male site and most of the girls except mistresses stay away from it.

Do you really want getDare to be the same ?

Come on girls/mistresses share your experiences.
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Old 09-17-2016, 07:32 AM   #2
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I wouldn't say that they're "driving me away" but they're making my experience on getDare less exciting, annoying me, and sometimes even cause me to take breaks.

There are a lot of things that desperate submissive males do on getDare that push people away from this site. Here are just a few:
  • The basic "looking for a mistress kik me @ ______" spamming PMs
  • Sending a dare that is against my limits, and tell me to send one back "if I like it"
  • Spamming threads of the same dare because no one replies
  • Posting "ads" but only posting their kiks
  • Sending several PMs throughout the day or week
  • "I need permission to cum mistress" PMs
There are so many other things that annoy me on the daily basis. I wish that they would realize that they are impacting the site tremendously, how their actions are causing many users to become inactive and quit, etc.

And sometimes, when they don't get their way, they become aggressive & rude. That's the worst. I don't feel like getting attacked because I'm not willing to be a mistress to a random stranger, because I'm not willing to send a PM back, because I'm not willing to do everything they want me to do. It's honestly unfair.

But that's just me.
call me Car.

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Old 09-17-2016, 08:41 AM   #3
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I hope everyone knows there is such a thing as an ignore list. Use it. I do.
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Old 09-17-2016, 09:05 AM   #4
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Well,.. it sucks... I can only hope the nice guys are able to make up for the others.

mhh, would be nice to have a "quick fuck-off reply button"
- you can make custom text
- just press that button to respond with that text
- and next time response of that guy comes into "fuck-off mailbox"
(you may never read, but if bored you could)

you could make custom text like:
"you are a stupid asshole not to read my profile before pm-ing, next time you wil be banned"
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Old 09-17-2016, 09:26 AM   #5
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Even being a male, i've gotten some weird pm's...some guy kept asking my kik and wanted me to "use" him, just didn't answer though.

So i can surely believe that girls here regularly experience harassment. It's so sad. Makes me mad actually.
They fuck it up for the good guys here...luckily i think there are lots of good ones to though.

That being said...i'm not sure what there can be done about it.


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Old 09-17-2016, 09:30 AM   #6
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Default male aggression

it has been my experience throughout life that on any site where males and females interact, it is dominated by males and males pretending to be females. The number of real females is usually pretty low. I've also noticed a pattern where most of the males seem desperate and childish, while the real females have their pick of men and are usually in no hurry to instantly give themselves to a play partner. The true females usually lay low or else they are the ones to initiate any play.

This site is no different. I have had a few great experiences here with women who were kind enough to verify they are female (it doesn't take much and there's no risk if done properly), and I've also been catfished on this site more times than on any other sites combined.

Keep in mind that I am a straight male who only plays with females, so my explanations have been in that context. No offense to trans people or gender-fluid or gay people. When I'm talking about fake females I'm talking about men who create an account and pretend to be a natural-born female for the purposes of fooling men.


I'm back... and ready for dares and torments.
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Old 09-17-2016, 10:10 AM   #7
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Could a possible solution be to limit Private Messages to people with other a certain amount of posts or people who have been active for a set amount of time?
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Old 09-17-2016, 10:58 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Runesmith View Post
I hope everyone knows there is such a thing as an ignore list. Use it. I do.
well the thing is that there are so many people that do it so I add them to my ignore list but then more new ones do the same thing. I wouldn't saying that it is driving me away but its a negative of the site.
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:45 PM   #9
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It's annoying at times but it knows to expect that. (Tip:if you want less of them-get a male avatar, most don't read signatures.)

It probably does overwhelm new members but there's really not much that can be done about it. Best would be as someone said earlier-reporting and staff for pms.

(By the way, it believes mods can read pms considering you can report pms already.)
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Old 01-18-2017, 08:40 PM   #10
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I am a male sub and I think you are correct. Every time I see a female post it is flocked with be my mistress I would love to serve you and if I had be my master be my master everytime I am looking to have a bit of fun I would stop visiting this site. I knew a female sub who used this site and I know her in real life she has got rid of her kik stopped using the site and quit BDSM all together just because people thought that she wants to dom everyone. But I have seen my fair share of female doms being money scams and that puts me off looking.
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I am looking for a mistress, please PM me if interested
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