Time to be interrogated - AMA

[Consensus]

It occurs to me that I have been here for a long enough time now and I still haven't done one of these.

I honestly can't imagine anyone wants to know anything particular (or even realises that I was on here) but what the hey, right? So, open up. Ask me anything and I shall do my best to answer questions honestly. I won't share personal information (obvs) but most questions are fair game!

Thank you in advance, good people,

Connie

[Butterfly]

What topic could you spend hours talking about?

What do a lot of people hope will happen but is just not going to happen?

What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you while working at your job?

What questions would you like to ask a time traveler from 200 years in the future?

Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under?

What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?

What horror story do you have from a job you’ve had?

What’s the most rage inducing game you’ve ever played?

What’s the biggest overreaction you’ve ever seen?

What job doesn’t exist now but will exist in the future?

What awful movie do you love?

What’s your best example of fake it till you make it?

What were you completely certain of until you found out you were wrong?

[Consensus]

Aww, thanks Butterfly!

What topic could you spend hours talking about?
Pretty much any topic that I know a little about, I'm like that. So everything from tanks in the First World War through to breastfeeding and most things inbetween. Give me a day or so's head start and I'll find a way into most topics that'll allow me to pontificate for hours. At the moment, off the top of my head, Pet Shop Boys lyrics.

What do a lot of people hope will happen but is just not going to happen?
Probably the year 2080.

What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you while working at your job?
Good question. Being asked by a parent in my first year of doing my job how best to discipline their teenage child for using a computer late into the night. I was somewhat taken aback being childless and half the age of the parent.

What questions would you like to ask a time traveler from 200 years in the future?
How did you make it so climate change was survivable? Why visit here and now?

Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under?
Oh, that's easy: over. Heretics be damned!

What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
I don't know. Probably stubbing my toe. I'm not good at pain, I can ignore pretty bad stuff but the small stuff gets me every time.

What horror story do you have from a job you’ve had?
The three years of Hell when they were trying to get me out on competency proceedings. Hampered by their ineptitude and the fact that I wasn't incompetent, but that was truly horrific and hard to deal with. It damn' near broke me.

What’s the most rage inducing game you’ve ever played?
Sonic, the Master System II version. I played that for six hours, six hours, with no saves (there was no facility for them) and then died a dozen times on the last boss fight. I think I was so angry I didn't play it again. Ever.

What’s the biggest overreaction you’ve ever seen?
Any of mine. Before I knew I was ASD I didn't really understand why something like, say, a floor-mate hiding my slippers at University summoned a complete rage and inability to be sensible, I was moved to almost spit, when other people could cope with far worse things. I mean, even knowing what I know I still count that as being completely over-the-top.

What job doesn’t exist now but will exist in the future?
Imperator, running the trip to gas-town.

What awful movie do you love?
Starship Troopers! I love it!

What’s your best example of fake it till you make it?
Oddly enough, confidence and the fact that I am married. Lord knows how I managed that one!

What were you completely certain of until you found out you were wrong?How to pronounce some words that I'd only seen written down before that point. I don't have an example to hand but there have been many occasions that I have been prepared to fight to the death to explain why I'm right only to find that, no, I'm wrong. Oh! Wait! Scone! It's not pronounced like 'gone' with a 'sc' but like 'lone' - you can pronounce it my preferred way but that's a vulgarisation of the language. My linguist friend tells me that's how languages develop and he may be right but the pronunciation guide in the OED tells me the original, and thus correct pronunciation is not the one I actually use.

Thank you for those questions! You know how to make a member of this place feel loved!

[Bobcat]

1. what is the wildest dare you ever did
2. have you ever been nude in group
3. would you ever do a dice roll to see what you wear to a party if nude was in there
4. do you like micro mini skirts
5, what side do like the most dom or slave
6, would you dress a guy up as women and take them to a bar
7. would you put a guy on cam dress a guy up as women
8. what is the worse thing you gave a guy to do
9. what is a secret you like to keep away from everyone
10.what would you do if an older guy was nude in front of in their 50s

[Consensus]

Thank you Bobcat!

1. what is the wildest dare you ever did
Probably a long-term bladder control dare where I could only pee outside and naked for a few weeks, that was pretty wild. Also scary. Also difficult.

2. have you ever been nude in group
No. I've rarely been nude.

3. would you ever do a dice roll to see what you wear to a party if nude was in there
Yes.

4. do you like micro mini skirts
Yegods yes. I used to own one.

5, what side do like the most dom or slave
At the moment I'd say slave, but that's for reasons. I can switch most of the time, I'm just feeling the dominant stuff at the moment.

6, would you dress a guy up as women and take them to a bar
Hard to say. Probably not, but never say never, you know?

7. would you put a guy on cam dress a guy up as women
No.

8. what is the worse thing you gave a guy to do
I don't know. Most of the time I try to intuit what the guy wants and do that. It's not often hard, to be honest.

9. what is a secret you like to keep away from everyone
My actual feelings on any given matter.

10.what would you do if an older guy was nude in front of in their 50s
Depends on the context and the guy. If it's a hospital and they've got Parkinson's, nothing, but if it's at work and daylight I'd probably call the police.

[kila]

What made you decide to be locked up for lent?

What is your favorite physical feature on yourself?

Do you see yourself as more level-headed and rational or more imaginative and adaptive? Would you prefer to be the other?

Do you dance?

What do you like to do in your spare time?

If you had 10 seconds to speak to everyone in the world (and it would get translated to whatever language they understand), what would you say?

[SasssySlavePuppy]

Do you like Dan Brown?

What do you find the most attractive about the feminine body?

What kinds of food do you most enjoy?

What is one thing you could never live without?

[Butterfly]

What’s the funniest TV show you’ve ever seen?
What’s the most embarrassing story from your childhood?
What animal is the most majestic?
What’s something that everyone knows is true, but we don’t like to admit it?
What’s the creepiest tech out there?
Who did you use to look up to, but they screwed up and you lost faith in them?
What’s fine in small numbers but terrifying in large numbers?
Do you like things to be carefully planned or do you prefer to just go with the flow?
What animal would you most like to eat?
What fictional characters have you had a crush on over the years?
What would the box with all your hopes and dreams inside look like?
What was the worst shopping experience you’ve ever had?

[Consensus]

I'm sorry, I didn't notice your questions until this evening! Thank you!

What made you decide to be locked up for lent?

That's a good question. I don't know that I decided. Let me explain, my Holder on Emlalock suggested a forum that I checked out and, while there, I was challenged to mention Locked for Lent to my Holder. Never one to resist such a challenge, I did. She mulled it over and I assumed I had fulfilled the challenge and not been locked, great. But then, on Ash Wednesday, she increased my session until Easter, I think. So... I guess I did want it. And she teased me about it, and I found that... yeah, I kinda did want to try it because I was getting used to being in chastity and I kinda don't want it to end. So...

Yeah, main reason, I'm actually enjoying chastity and I kinda don't want it to end. My Holder wants to direct my first orgasm after this session and I am mindful that she has to get something out of this as well, so I know I can't continue indefinitely, I guess Lent is the compromise.

What is your favorite physical feature on yourself?

Pass.

Do you see yourself as more level-headed and rational or more imaginative and adaptive? Would you prefer to be the other?

Level-Headed and Rational. Comes with the territory. I had always assumed I could be imaginative and adaptable but, increasingly, I realise I'm not. I would very much prefer to be adaptable and imaginative as I suspect life would be more fun!

Do you dance?

Only when no one can see. And badly.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Read and I used to love writing. But my writing is like reading a headache.

If you had 10 seconds to speak to everyone in the world (and it would get translated to whatever language they understand), what would you say?

Something along the lines of: "Be scared, we need to fix things, like global warming. Oh, and be excellent to each other! [air guitar noise]"

Thank you for these and apologies for the delay!

Connie

[Consensus]

Oooh, these look fun. Thank you!

Do you like Dan Brown?

I'm afraid not. Not a terribly good thriller writer, in my opinion, and his dodgy research is annoying. Not the worst, not malicious, just... annoying.

What do you find the most attractive about the feminine body?

How it all fits together. Everything looks... well, like it fits together and in proportion. It exudes personality, the one of whoever wears it, and it just looks right. Nothing on it looks like it should be hanging out of the mouth of a shark, for example.

What kinds of food do you most enjoy?

Spicy ones. I have long ago killed all of my taste-buds. Salty works too.

What is one thing you could never live without?

I'm tempted to say 'oxygen' but that's just me being unnecessarily subversive with the question. So, instead, I shall say the kindness of strangers.

These were clever, I liked them, thank you!

[Consensus]

I love it when I get questions like these, thank you!

What’s the funniest TV show you’ve ever seen?

Hard to say. The one that made me laugh out loud until I was literally rolling on the floor and crying was an episode of The Detectives with Jasper Carrot in it sometime in the early 1990s. However, I have found The IT Crowd at least as amusing. Most stand-ups I like, but Dylan Moran is a particular favourite.

What’s the most embarrassing story from your childhood?

There are soooooo many. I think the one that makes me blush the most, however, has to be the time I went to my Sixth Form Prom. I was told a girl fancied me, a big deal (it would have been a first!) but I didn't recognise the name. I thus hung back from the gaggle of girls of which she was a part at the bar ordering cokes. Eventually they came to me to pose for 'goodbye pictures' that they got me to take part in. They asked where I was going, I said my University, and then they said they were going to a club and there was a spare seat in the taxi. I said: "That sounds great, have fun!" and then walked out to a taxi to go home. It wasn't until I got home that I realised what had just happened, what they actually meant and realised my error. The really embarrassing part was that the girl in question went to Japan and wasn't supposed to come home for three years, but she came back at Christmas, found the pub I was in but turned away before anyone but I saw her because I had brought my first girlfriend from Uni - she didn't know I'd seen her and no one else had had time to spot her - she stayed in Japan after that and I lost contact - that's... pretty embarrassing. That or the story about the swimming costume...

What animal is the most majestic?

Golden Eagle. Hand's down.

What’s something that everyone knows is true, but we don’t like to admit it?

Michael Jackson was a kiddie-fiddler.

What’s the creepiest tech out there?

Face recognition software!

Who did you use to look up to, but they screwed up and you lost faith in them?

Deep. Honestly, not happened. I guess the closest would be my Dad when he left home after his final affair and then my parents got divorced. But, honestly, I was raised with a faith that said everyone has flaws and no one is perfect - so I always assume I can look up to people and they will screw up eventually, this is fine and doesn't affect the reasons I respected them. So... Yeah. I don't have that much faith in anyone, they are people, they will screw up, you know? And that's fine. My job, in that situation, is to help them pick up the pieces if I can or, if not, to forgive and move on.

What’s fine in small numbers but terrifying in large numbers?

Flies. Can't stand them.

Do you like things to be carefully planned or do you prefer to just go with the flow?

Planned. I like to pretend I can cope without a plan, but I can't for very long. Mind you, this whole chastity thing wasn't planned and I am learning that being led by someone without knowing what the plan is, or even if there is one, is pretty darn intoxicating!

What animal would you most like to eat?

I'm assuming this is one that I haven't eaten already. So... Ostrich?

What fictional characters have you had a crush on over the years?

Penny, from Inspector Gadget (cartoon series); Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races (more wanted to be her to be honest); Jedda Walker from Defenders of the Earth (equal parts crushing and wanting to be); Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (because I'm so original); Ace from Doctor Who (specifically in the Curse of Fenric because, obviously!) and that might be it?

What would the box with all your hopes and dreams inside look like?

Small, but exquisite. Imagine something lined in red velvet, with a faded red feltt outer, banded in brass and strong looking despite it's delicate stylings. Atop Imperial style feet, with lion paws at the bottom - it would look huge if you zoomed in, if you see what I mean, but would be small enough to fit in a jacket pocket or modest handbag.

What was the worst shopping experience you’ve ever had?

Suit shopping in 2015 I think. I went to a mall and tried all the male shops there only to discover that 'slim fit' was 'in' and nothing fit. Five hours, precious time away from the kids facilitated by my over-worked and stressed wife, with nothing to show for it but a damaged trouser leg (no, I didn't report it) because nothing would fit and it was just so dispiriting. Luckily I didn't see any students.

I think it ties with the time as a new teacher, in the queue immediately behind one of my new Form members (age 11) I was ID'ed for buying aspirin and they wouldn't accept my school ID - I had to put the aspirin back and then take away the wine I'd put on the conveyor as well. That was embarrassing and horrible. I was angry but there was nowhere to put that rage, no one acted inappropriately and I was just mortified, embarrassed and angry all at once. And I had to smile and laugh like it was no big deal because my student was there.


These were great fun to answer! Thank you!

Connie

[SasssySlavePuppy]

Why did you choose your avatar?

What female celebrity is most intriguing to you?

Speaking of thrillers, who would you suggest to a newbie thriller reader?

What movie always makes you cry.

[Consensus]

Oooh, you're good at this!

Why did you choose your avatar?

Person above avatar thread! It used to be a picture of me, again from the Person Above avatar thread. Basically, all apart from my first two were from there. And... that's it.

What female celebrity is most intriguing to you?

I don't know. I don't know them, if you see what I mean. I'd like to say Rachel Weisz but that's not really true. I mean, she seems nice, but there's no chance I would ever get to know her in any way that makes any kind of sense. Ditto Alyson Hannigan. Basically, celebrities are lovely people, I'm sure, but I don't feel I would ever really be able to get to know any of them. I shall enjoy what they choose to present to the world, or not, but beyond that I have few questions.

Speaking of thrillers, who would you suggest to a newbie thriller reader?

Ben Aaronovitch - try his Rivers of London series. I think they count as thrillers. Failing that, Folsom is good. I liked early Clancy, before he believed his own hype and became a bit of a nationalistic berk.

What movie always makes you cry.

Oh, wow, good question. I cried at The Reader, not sure it could do that again but I'm not sure I'd watch it again. Great film, one time deal. I have cried at the end of Fifth Element but that was more to do with the context. Leon can do it if I'm feeling low enough - it's Sting at the end that does it.

Music is more likely to make me cry than film. You Choose by the Pet Shop Boys does that every time, but that is me being subversive with your question. Films I watch a lot tend not to make me cry, you see.

Thank you, these were fun to answer and actually pretty challenging, thank you!

Connie

[SasssySlavePuppy]

Will you ask me some questions on my thread?

Other than thrillers, what types of novels do you enjoy?

Who would you invite to an 8 person dinner (you are one of the eight)?

What kind of candy is your favorite?

If you were to take part in a food dare with someone, what food(s) would be involved?

[Consensus]

Will you ask me some questions on my thread?

Mais natrullement, mon amis!

Other than thrillers, what types of novels do you enjoy?

Comic novels, Terry Prachett and co; Military derring do (Harold Coyle and Bernard Cornwell back in the day); sci fi (the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson) and classic sci-fi - Asimov and Card and Herbert and Wyndham. Alas, these days I don't get much time to read at all.

Who would you invite to an 8 person dinner (you are one of the eight)?

Oooh, toughie. Do they have to be alive and likely to turn up? If so, I'd invite some friends: my mates from school who I've kept in touch with, there's two. My friend who I talk to about stuff that only exists online otherwise, and that's a good link right there. My friend who set up an opportunity for me to cross-dress in public, showered me with compliments about how I suited her dress better than she (which is a lie) and kept me honest when starting to date the woman who would become my wife by showing her pictures of me cross-dressed to her, good friend. My first ex, we're still friends. Harry from work, you'll see her in the links below.Then... uh... a former colleague who shares my passion for a good ale. They'd make a good group, plenty for them to talk to one another about.

What kind of candy is your favorite?

Jelly beans. Honestly, I just love how they look and feel.

If you were to take part in a food dare with someone, what food(s) would be involved?

You know, I don't know. The only food dare I can imagine would be food control? So... Uh... I guess I don't know enough to give a proper answer!

Oh, and while I'm here, I realised: The Constant Gardener is a film I have watched only three times despite owning the DVD. It's made me cry every dang time. I showed it to my wife but she doesn't remember it and has no desire to watch it.