Fiction: Sisters Sleepover - The Sequel - The Game Continues... - Page 35

SeeNaked · 09-25-2010, 04:06 PM

Holy Shit... OMG

Oh Shiny, You've done it again sir! *bows*

I loved this part, for obvious reasons. The main one being that I don't like Kelly, and while I would love to see her spanked/whipped or something for what she has done, this was excellent!

I like the fact that you have removed most of the inhibitions between Steve and Sarah, and that Ed continues to be more of a good friend!

Thanks for this!

Vodin30 · 09-25-2010, 04:09 PM

I agree, well done. I have thouroghly enjoyed your writing.

foryoutoguess · 09-25-2010, 06:54 PM

This update is definately worth the wait.

keep it up

maddy09 · 09-25-2010, 08:55 PM

i so cant wait for the new instalment........

CleverGlenn · 09-25-2010, 09:11 PM

Shiny, you are talented. Wow.

dabigone · 09-26-2010, 06:29 AM

Amazing as always Shiny! As much as I would've loved to see Kelly physically punished, you provided something far better, and more satisfying to Steve and Sarah I'm sure lol! Keep up the awesome work, I'm looking forward to more.

Memories for Life · 09-26-2010, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShinyDemon

...
Steve stood up and dropped his trousers. The fact he was in front of his cadets didn't bother him even though a few were looking over - but let's face it, we had seen all of their cocks too.
...

A slight miscue to a fine piece of writing. I know you meant to write "Ed" in place of "Steve" -- it simply was missed in the proofread.

Kelly finally gets her due although she was wasn't humiliated since she eagerly accepted the task. Although her belly must be bulging from the cum of 40 blowjobs, I hope the punishment will leave a "permanent" mark to identify the slut she truly is. Maybe having the cadets "work" her other end would be more fitting!

I hope the gD mods have this story burned in a backup, it would a literary tragedy for it to be lost in a system crash!

Kisune Karnon · 09-26-2010, 09:23 PM

I have to say that was probably one of the best chapters to wait for [not that it was the best or it could have been not sure atm]. I'm sure Shiny has this stored on his comp in a file for backup. I can't wait for the next installments as I know this is so good. The punishment should be a cum enema. That would be the best punishment for not swallowing a lot of cum. Or at least, that's what I would do to her in Ed's position.

rdcottman · 09-26-2010, 10:17 PM

more please soon. luv it.

Demon Thief · 09-27-2010, 06:56 AM

I eagerly wait for more. Nice job.

BRiiCKY · 09-27-2010, 01:21 PM

i have just read both stories and it made me orgasm tice. this is such a great story cant wait for more

ShinyDemon · 09-27-2010, 09:32 PM

Wow, this chapter has been very well received, which I am very pleased about. I must admit that this part of the story very nearly never was, as I was concerned about pushing the limits too far.
Again, I thought along Ed and his friends own ethics, in that no one is made to do anything that a) they don't want to do or b) will cause intense pain or danger, and by giving the 'contest' that competitive edge I was hoping I'd achieve that and from the feedback it looks as though I succeeded.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Memories for Life

A slight miscue to a fine piece of writing. I know you meant to write "Ed" in place of "Steve" -- it simply was missed in the proofread.

Kelly finally gets her due although she was wasn't humiliated since she eagerly accepted the task. Although her belly must be bulging from the cum of 40 blowjobs, I hope the punishment will leave a "permanent" mark to identify the slut she truly is. Maybe having the cadets "work" her other end would be more fitting!

I hope the gD mods have this story burned in a backup, it would a literary tragedy for it to be lost in a system crash!

Very well spotted Memories For Life - this was a genuine mistake, and even when I read through it after typing the chapter I didn't notice this. If this chapter is converted into PDF, I'll have to remember to change this (unfortunately there is no 'edit' facility after a certain time of posting on here).

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRiiCKY

i have just read both stories and it made me orgasm tice. this is such a great story cant wait for more

Thank you for the feedback BriiCKY... but only twice ?!? Damn, I must be losing my touch ;o)

Sadly no update today, but I'm already working on the next chapter. There are some interesting ideas for Kelly's punishment, and whilst I don't accept requests (as it can distract me from the way I see the story heading), a couple of you who have commented or PM'd me may have 'hit the nail on the head' or got very close to what I have planned !!

BRiiCKY · 09-28-2010, 04:43 AM

Sorry if i have disapointed you shiny but i am a fast reader and a slow masturbater.

Also can i have a copy of the original story?

[email protected]

thanks xxx

maddy09 · 09-28-2010, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRiiCKY

Sorry if i have disapointed you shiny but i am a fast reader and a slow masturbater.

:O still only twice i've orgasmed at least 6 times between the two.

davidhbk123 · 10-01-2010, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRiiCKY

Sorry if i have disapointed you shiny but i am a fast reader and a slow masturbater.

Also can i have a copy of the original story?

[email protected]

thanks xxx

masterbate with me

09-25-2010, 04:06 PM	#511
SeeNaked Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 170	Shiny!!! Holy Shit... OMG Oh Shiny, You've done it again sir! bows I loved this part, for obvious reasons. The main one being that I don't like Kelly, and while I would love to see her spanked/whipped or something for what she has done, this was excellent! I like the fact that you have removed most of the inhibitions between Steve and Sarah, and that Ed continues to be more of a good friend! Thanks for this!

09-25-2010, 08:55 PM	#514
maddy09 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Probably somewhere I'm not supposed to be. Posts: 240 Blog Entries: 28	i so cant wait for the new instalment........ __________________ 18/Female/Bi Likes:Light pain, orgasm control, Ice, Semi Public Limits: Family and friends, permanent, extremely messy, sending pic/videos,

09-25-2010, 09:11 PM	#515
CleverGlenn Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 167	MMMhmmm Shiny, you are talented. Wow.

09-26-2010, 06:29 AM	#516
dabigone Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: New York Posts: 161	Amazing as always Shiny! As much as I would've loved to see Kelly physically punished, you provided something far better, and more satisfying to Steve and Sarah I'm sure lol! Keep up the awesome work, I'm looking forward to more. __________________ 18/m PM me for whatever reason and I'll respond to every one! Ask me: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=57950 Dare me: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=57949 I'll let you know my likes and dislikes as I find them, but right now: Likes: masturbation, light humiliation, semi-public Dislikes: pee Limits: llegal, poop, family, others' participation

09-26-2010, 09:23 PM	#518
Kisune Karnon GetDare Ninja Join Date: May 2010 Location: Imagination Land Posts: 12,289 Blog Entries: 7	I have to say that was probably one of the best chapters to wait for [not that it was the best or it could have been not sure atm]. I'm sure Shiny has this stored on his comp in a file for backup. I can't wait for the next installments as I know this is so good. The punishment should be a cum enema. That would be the best punishment for not swallowing a lot of cum. Or at least, that's what I would do to her in Ed's position. __________________ Male/Married/Straight/Switch/32/190 lbs Likes and Limits Toys (So Far) PM Dares Utilizing Keywords Version 3 Kik: Kisune22 My goal is to give good dares and receive them because that is how I enjoy the game. I will send reports when I choose to or if I am asked. If you give me a repeated dare or a "do your own dare," I will be very disappointed because I like to be surprised and challenged.

09-25-2010, 04:09 PM	#512
Vodin30 getDare Devil Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 1,263 Blog Entries: 4	I agree, well done. I have thouroghly enjoyed your writing.

09-25-2010, 06:54 PM	#513
foryoutoguess Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 20	This update is definately worth the wait. keep it up

09-26-2010, 10:17 PM	#519
rdcottman Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: soon to be San Francisco Posts: 140	more please soon. luv it.

09-27-2010, 06:56 AM	#520
Demon Thief getDare Devil Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: In the US Posts: 1,013	I eagerly wait for more. Nice job. __________________ "How many seconds in eternity?" And the shepherd's boy says, "this is a mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away then the first second of eternity will have passed." You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird. 14 years on GetDare!

09-27-2010, 01:21 PM	#521
BRiiCKY Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 82	i have just read both stories and it made me orgasm tice. this is such a great story cant wait for more __________________ The three of us are looking for some more girls that we can talk to on here/msn. We have got loads of guys that like to talk to us but if there are still any wanting to talk, just add us on msn or pm us on here Thanks in advance Lauren, Hannah and Kellie xxx Msn's: [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]

09-28-2010, 04:43 AM	#523
BRiiCKY Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 82	Sorry if i have disapointed you shiny but i am a fast reader and a slow masturbater. Also can i have a copy of the original story? [email protected] thanks xxx __________________ The three of us are looking for some more girls that we can talk to on here/msn. We have got loads of guys that like to talk to us but if there are still any wanting to talk, just add us on msn or pm us on here Thanks in advance Lauren, Hannah and Kellie xxx Msn's: [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]