The corrupted wish game.

[MiStraLan]

Granted. You get hit by a bus in two hours.

I wish I could suck my own dick.

[Runesmith]

Granted. You are now contorted in to a painful curved position with your head between your legs, with your vertebrae fused in that position permanently. So... go right ahead. That's all you will be able to do for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a cake and could eat it too.

[slavepuptx]

Granted. Your pantry, fridge, and freezer are always stocked with nothing but cake. Every time you order at a restaurant, you think of another food but the word “cake” is always what comes out of your mouth. No matter what, all you ever eat is cake.

I wish I had full access to a college baseball team’s locker room.

[Runesmith]

Granted. Enjoy your full, 24/7, all season, year-round access to the basketball locker room of the Pripyat University, Chernobyl, Ukaraine. I hear the radioactivity levels are down to around 3500 kBq now. At that rate, you would have about 4 years to enjoy your unfettered access.

I wish that the last season of Game of Throne will not be boring.

[slavepuptx]

Granted. The last season of GOT will be so thrilling and riveting that you will become obsessed with it, gradually taking on the style and affect of your favorite character. By the final episode, you will be convinced that you are Jon Snow and have to protect the world from the next threat after defeating the white walkers.

I wish I had a perfectly lean and muscular body without having to diet or work out.

[Runesmith]

Granted. Now you are a Michelangelo statue. You don't need to diet to keep your shape. That means you are dead, of course. And this little known work of Michelangelo was walled away in a secret alcove in the Vatican just before the third crusade to keep it safe in case of an attack by Saladin, but the Knight Templar who hid it was killed in battle. So alas, no one can see the physical perfection that you sacrificed your life for.

I wish some random stranger would win the lottery tonight.

[MiStraLan]

Wish granted. A random stranger wins the lottery. He buys the house right next to your bedroom window and turns it into a discotheque. He only plays shit music, and it is too loud for you to sleep. As he has enough money to bribe officials and policemen, you have no chance to stop him.

I wish I had X-ray vision that I could turn on and off at will, and that would let me see everybody naked whenever I want to.

[Pariahterror]

Originally Posted by MiStraLan

Wish granted. A random stranger wins the lottery. He buys the house right next to your bedroom window and turns it into a discotheque. He only plays shit music, and it is too loud for you to sleep. As he has enough money to bribe officials and policemen, you have no chance to stop him.

I wish I had X-ray vision that I could turn on and off at will, and that would let me see everybody naked whenever I want to.

Granted, but you can't move when looking with the X-ray vision. You will also be a walking streetlight wherever you go.

I wish puppy treats are tasty to humans too.

[Runesmith]

Granted. People are suddenly addicted to puppy treats. Puppies are slaughtered by the millions to eliminate competition for this limited food source. The corpses are turned in to, literally, puppy treats. Once dogs are extinct, foxes, wolves, jackals and coyotes face the same fate (except hyenas, which are not related to dogs, but are closer to the cat family). Once they are all gone, they come for the human "puppies", tracking them down through forums.

I wish I had robot that clears snow from my sidewalk automatically every morning when it snows.

[Master4074]

Granted. Because of climate change, it no longer snows. Now you have a useless robot sitting around.

I wish I knew how to set my watch to the right time.

[Runesmith]

Granted. You know how to set your watch to the right time... on the 0 degree meridian line on Ultima Thule. Unfortunately, that doesn't help much in terms of getting to meetings in time, so your boss fires you anyway.

I wish I could make a 100 euro bill appear in my wallet anytime I wanted.

[MiStraLan]

Wish granted. A 100 Euro bill will appear in your wallet whenever you want it to. Too bad, though, that everybody else has the same power. Mass inflation and total economic collapse ensues. Within a few months, mass starvation is killing people everywhere.

I wish John Lennon was still alive.

[Runesmith]

Granted. John Lennon comes back to life as a zombie. He wanders the night in eternal torment, thanks to your wish, and the only hope for him to rest in peace is to consume the brain of the person whose wish reanimated him. The problem is, he doesn't know who you are and where you live. So he simply "tastes" everyone he meets, and soon an army of zombies is marching across the face of the Earth. I hope you packed some supplies and a baseball bat before making that wish.

I wish I owned a tropical island and a gigantic yacht to take me there whenever I wanted to.

[theswitchyside]

Wish granted, but with global warming your island goes underwater!

I wish I was really rich!

[Runesmith]

Granted. Now you are really rich in experience. Your bank account is still in the red though - but it is also an experience, right?

I wish the world wasn't such a cruel place.