The corrupted wish game.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you'd both be at the bottom of the ocean hanging out with fish and sea-flowers

I wish I had more free time

[Runesmith]

Granted. You get your termination letter by email, ending with "Don't come in to collect your stuff, we will post it to you." Now you have lots of free time, but no income. Finally, the loan shark who lent you money abducts you and auctions you off as a sex slave to recover his cash, and you end up in my harem.

I wish I had 20 more holding cells in my harem.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you'd be paralyzed on a chair exactly like Stephen Hawking

I wish I was the harem Queen

[Runesmith]

Granted. But your duties as the harem queen involves feeding and orally pleasuring the guy in the wheel chair three times a day, shaving and preparing the other girls, and being fingered or licked by them to multiple orgasms on orders of the guy in the wheel chair. The entire day is spent on the boring, tedious job of providing or receiving orgasms as the insatiable crippled satyr cackles, drools and wants more. And since the harem exists in a pocket universe, all inhabitants are immortal and unable to escape - which means this will be your life for all eternity.

I wish the guy in the wheelchair had a mind-controlled body suit that allowed him to whip the harem queen.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but the harem queen would enjoy it so much that you would end up bored to death

I wish person above knew what a Queen is

[Runesmith]

Granted. The person above now knows the definition of Queen in the royal sense, the gay scene sense, the cross-dressing sense, the smothering with labia sense, the porcelain sense, the ice sense, the drama sense, and the 80's rock band sense. He also now knows that a certain flower growing by the beach is a sausage queen.

I wish I had time to read my current book instead of answering work emails at 5am.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you'd need Braille cause you blind

I wish I knew secret agent's other day-time job

[Runesmith]

Granted. Now you know, and because of that, the secret agent will have to kill you. Hide, little flower.

I wish I could do Yin and Yang together.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but this would be just you making a South Korean flag while kept as a sex-slave in a far East harem.

I wish I had never got in that train January 21 2014

[Runesmith]

Granted. You get on a bus instead. And for some inexplicable reason, he decides not to get on a train and gets on the same bus as you... and the events unfold exactly the same way they did. The genie shrugs his shoulders and chalks it up to experience.

I wish I was in South Korea right now. The weather's bound to be better than here.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but Kim Yong Un finds out you are there and unleashes all his nuclear weapons onto South Korea and your head

I wish I always travelled with my private jet, especially January 2014

[Runesmith]

Granted. However, on that fateful day in January 2014, as you reach the airport, you see him, all stressed out because he missed your flight. Since you have absolutely no idea what is going to happen in the future, you offer to drop him at your destination. The events simply unfold as they did. The genie hangs a banner that says, "You can't wish away your fate."

I wish I could see you at work, without your panties.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, cause you'd be tied and vibe plugged under my desk for 8 hours giving me feet massage with your mouth (wearing headphones and listening to Donald Trump speeches)

I wish I could wish away my fate
(not very sure this is a good thing though)

[Runesmith]

Granted. You could wish away your fate. As a side effect, you gain a prescient ability to see the consequences of your actions, including that of wishing away your fate. Knowing that even the smallest of decisions has a butterfly effect, you are paralyzed by analysis and fall in to a deep catatonic state, fearing to take a step or even blink, now that you are learned how to analyze consequences of those actions.

I wish I could read simplified Chinese.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but the only language you could ever speak is making sounds of a raven

I wish I could wish my fate away without having to deal with deterministic chaos as person above suggests