The corrupted wish game.

[Runesmith]

Granted. But it's only 20 square meters in area, with only a single coconut tree on it. Oh, did I mention that there is no way to leave the island except swim 1500 miles to Australia?

I wish I had wings that allowed me to fly anywhere I want.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you would have no legs, your belly would very soft and you'd be very heavy to float, so you could never ever land anywhere

I wish Australia wasn't so far and I could go there and play with a kangaroo

[Runesmith]

Granted. But the accelerated plate tectonics that moved the Australian continent closer to you caused massive supervolcanic eruptions all over the world that killed off all multi-cellular life on Earth as you cradled your precious kangaroo. But the good news is that in a few million years, alien paleontologists will find your fossilized bones along with those of the kangaroo, and take them to their planet for exhibition in their pan-galactic museum.

I wish I could get a reservation at the restaurant I really want to try.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but it would be in one month's time and meanwhile the restaurant gets burned down to ashes

I wish the pangalactic musueum wouldn't feed me your intergalactic dessert that made me feel dizzy

[Runesmith]

Granted. The curator drinks all the pan-galactic gargle-blasters and in an alcohol-fueled fugue, puts you in the exhibit containing the ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Hint: close your eyes.

I wish I could hitchhike on a passing alien spaceship.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you'd live rest of your life as sex slave in an alien harem

I wish I could help myself to keep eyes closed when told so

[Runesmith]

Granted. Now when you are told to close your eyes, your ectoplasm leaves your body and holds your eyes closed, thus helping yourself. The problem is, the only known method to get your ectoplasm back to your body is to look straight at it (as the eyes are the window to your soul). Just hope that no one asks you to keep your eyes closed.

I wish you would keep your eyes closed.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but iris recognition of my eyes would be the only way to the keys holding you in the alien sex slave harem

I wish I could keep the eyes of my soul closed more often

[Runesmith]

Granted. The eyes of your soul close permanently. As a result, your soul will be unable to know when you die. So when you eventually die, your body will still stumble around while your flesh decays, while developing an insatiable hankering for brains.

I wish my job in the alien sex harem was sexually tormenting a certain flower growing by the sea.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but sicnce as a slave your hands and legs would be always restrained, all you could do is tickle flower's soles with your tongue

I wish my sould wouldn't mind if my body lives or dies

[Runesmith]

Granted. Your soul doesn't care about your body, which becomes withered, decayed and plagued by maggots. While your soul sits around in detached disdain, your body lies in its own excrement, a soulless husk devoid of the spark of life. Just in time for Halloween.

I wish I could be home for Halloween.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you would be dressed in lingerie as a Queen. Happy Halloween!

I wish I was taller

[Runesmith]

Granted. You are now 33,000 feet high. As you struggle to breathe, you get hit on the head by a Boeing 777ER and die.

I wish I could speak Mandarin.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you would you would be deaf with no tongue, no hands. Oh, blind as well.

I wish I was less than 32700 feet tall

[Runesmith]

Granted. You are 32699 feet tall, and get hit on the head by a private Gulfstream IV flying at flight level 327. My pilot announces, "Just a bit of turbulence, Sir. Nothing to worry about."

I wish I could time travel to the time of the Roman empire, but with 21st century technology, so that I can seize power and become the emperor of the known world.