07-09-2008, 06:12 AM | #31 |
Account Banned
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,943
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One of the best twists and stories in a long time Great
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07-10-2008, 11:56 AM | #32 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 106
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very good
good story, it is well written, and has some very good twists. i think that it would be added to the best stories section.
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I Am The Boy person one: "cake i said, Let them have Cake!!!!!" person two: The cake is lie. The cake is lie!!!!! |
07-10-2008, 05:34 PM | #33 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 15
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GREAT story, one of the best i have read on here in a while.
only comment i had was to lay off some of teh clues a bit at teh start, and not have to expalin everythign at the end. i think you over emphasised the looking in teh puddles etc at the start, when it would have been better as a passing comment. at the end you didnt need to go through all the places she had been only a couple and let the reader figure out the rest of teh situations. ash |
07-11-2008, 07:13 AM | #34 |
getDare Sweetheart
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 420
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Thank you everyone, I'm glad you liked it. You are also right Lucifer, I was a little too heavy with the hints. I tried taking away the hints, but I couldn't quite find the balance for that. As for the flashbacks, I guess they aren't fully necessary, but I think they don't get in the way.
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02-11-2013, 01:18 PM | #35 |
Baby Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1
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Great story, even though it's a tad unrealistic. Try to base it on something more belivable next time but great job all the same.
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