★ Ask Betty and Stix - Anonymous Advice.

[BettyBoop]

❝I am a size 10 in uk sizes, but i look at myself and still think that I look fat. i have a muffin top and stuff, and its just eww and i feel fat, is this normal❞

Betty:

Being a size 10 definitely doesn't make you fat, not looking like models, celebrities or girls in magazines does not make you fat. I think size 10 is a lovely size, however, if you really find you have issues with your body you could always do something about it. Try exercising, not excessively, I don't think you need to but fun things like dancing about in your bedroom or going swimming.
But I'll say again, there is nothing wrong with your body and you aren't fat

Stix:

You're definitely not fat. I know it's hard to have a good self image situation, especially with the magazines, and the beautiful celebrities, but you need to realise that you are beautiful.

Everyone has things they don't like about their body, and often it's things that you can't change. At size 10, you certainly aren't fat.

Learn to love yourself for who you are, and you'll find that others will love you for who you are as well.

[BettyBoop]

❝ok so, basically I've been in love with one of my best guy friends for a long time (i'm a girl). My best girl friend and i talk about it all the time and she knows him too, but sometimes she makes comments that make me think that she likes him. she says that he's hot or talks about his characteristics and stuff and it makes me feel really uncomfortable because i thought that out of all people she would know how much i adore him and she'd back off. i've tried confronting her by making a joke out of it and she usually comes back with a sarcastic comment like, "yeah i'm totally in love with him" but is she really joking? I would usually talk about this with one of my friends but I don't want them to think badly of me for doubting my own best friend.please help!❞

Betty:

You should probably try confronting her in a less jokey way, she's your best friend, I'm sure she'll understand if you just outright ask if she likes him. If she says no, then just say you wanted to be sure and then change the subject. If she's your best friend I'm sure she won't get mad, if anything she'll really try to make you feel sure that she doesn't like him.
I also think you should ask him out seeing as you like him so much, also if you're a couple I'm sure your friend will take the hint.

Stix:

Perhaps she is trying to show you that if you don't let him know how you feel about him, someone may well snap him up and he may never feel the same way about you. Maybe she just likes winding you up.

Whatever the situation is, I think you need to talk to both of them. You need to sit down with you best girl friend, and tell her how much he really means to you, and that you do get upset when she makes jokes. If she makes a sarcastic comment, tell her that you're being serious, and you want her to take you seriously.

As for talking to the boy? Well, I'm not expert on how girls get boys attention, perhaps Betty would be a much better person for advice on this subject, but I think that's it a good idea for him to know how you feel.

[BettyBoop]

❝if you had a crush w/ someone that last for more than a year
do you think it's love?
Betty:

Crushes can seem like love, but if you did love him I don't think you'd have to ask us what we think. You say you have a crush on him, but you don't seem to be a couple or friends. I think it's hard to say you love someone who you admire from afar.
If you've had a crush on him for so long maybe it's time to say Hi and get to know him.

Stix:

Well, I have never experienced love, so I wouldn't know. I'm afraid, but I do know that it's possible to have a crush for a long time, as I have experienced that.

I had a crush on someone for well over a year, and I also know that it wasn't love.

All I can say is that I assume you'll know when it's love

[BettyBoop]

❝hey I'm a girl, and I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend loves it when I blowjob him, is it okay or normal if I do it? even though we aren't married yet? Thanks.

Betty:

It is completely up to you whether you do it or not. And you don't have to do it just because your boyfriend wants you to, if you feel uncomfortable with it or you feel like it's against what you believe in then don't think for a second that you don't have a choice. If your boyfriend can't deal with that then you can do better.

Stix:

I think it's perfectly reasonable and normal to have sexual activity with your boyfriend, whether you're married or not. However, if you don't feel ready to, or you don't think you should be doing it, then talk to him, and explain that you're not comfortable. I'm sure he will be understanding and respectful.

I hope this helps

[BettyBoop]

❝Anymore I feel like no one cares about me, like no one would care if I just disappeared one day. Friends/family expect me to listen to their problems, but when I have a problem it's "suck it up". I just don't know what to do anymore.

Also I'm not thinking suicide, that's something I would never do.

Betty:

You should talk to your friends and family about it, it's possible that they just aren't realising how they are coming across when you need their help. Talking to people about the issues you have is always the best way to go, you can figure out what they are thinking and they can give you the support you need. I'm sure your friends and family care about you, they may just have issues showing it. If you tell them and they continue doing it, maybe you could tell your parents you'd like to talk to a professional about how you feel.

Stix:

It makes me so sad when people feel like there is no one out there that cares. Believe me when I say that there is someone out there somewhere out there that cares. You might have to look for them, but there is someone.

When you find the person that truly cares about you, the person who will listen to you no matter what you're going through, and support you no matter how rough you feel, you will realise how much you life really means.

If someone doesn't want to listen to your problems, and offer constructive advice, then it's probably not a good idea to talk to them, no matter how much you think they should support you.

I hope that helps, and I hope you realise that people really do care about you

[BettyBoop]

❝I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?

I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between the rear head and rocker arm cover.

So...is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer, yo?❞

Betty:

This would be hilarious if I hadn't read this joke before.

Stix:

I think you should probably try to sort things out with your wife before you worry about your bike...

[cardiac]

i am a guy age 42
i have a gay male friend
he has been hitting on me
kind of in a joking way bat also in a serious way
he has invited me over tonight to watch a movie.
i have never been with a man,but have like most guys thought about it
should i or shouldnt i

[BettyBoop]

❝What is the best way of learning a foreign language without attending lessons/moving to the country etc❞

Betty:

Obviously, the two things you don't want to do are the ones that would help you learn the language the quickest and the easiest. However, there are other options. You can take lessons without actually having to attend them, I think you can buy video lessons, audio lessons and online lessons. I would recommend something that is there to teach a language specifically but while doing that listening to music in that language or watching films in it could help.
Also, I'm sure there are textbooks you can purchase which are helpful.

Stix:

Watch films in that language, listen to music in that language, and learn as much vocabulary as possible. Once you've learnt the vocab, you should be able to start thinking in that language. Whenever you say something in english, imagine what it would be in the other language. And be patient, learning a foreign language takes time, and lots of it.

That's the only tip I can give you, but I think it should be successful.

[BettyBoop]

❝I'm getting addicted to Rio mints and I can't stop consuming them... I go through about a pack a day, and not only is this annoying, it's also killing my allowance. But i can't just stop buying them. I feel as if i NEED them... Is there anything I can do to stop this?❞

Betty:

If they aren't causing issues with your health, I'm not sure what the huge issue is. I'm sure you can physically stop eating them, you just need to think about why you don't want to keep eating them before you buy them to stop yourself.

Stix:

Cut them out bit by bit. Go down to 3/4 of a pack a day, then half a pack, then 1/4.

It's like any addiction, if you try to cut it out all at once, you'll just realise how much you miss it.

I hope that helps

[BettyBoop]

❝what is all the ways you can get banned so i know not to do anything wrong.❞

Betty:

Read the rules - Clickity.
Check the Ban List for reasons other people have been banned - Clickity.

Stix:

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=29350

Ta-da

[BettyBoop]

❝how do i get my bf to hold my hand?❞

Betty:

You should just hold his. He's your boyfriend, not a stranger (:

Stix:

Hold his

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stixy,

There was a time when I liked this guy a lot. A year later, we actually became friends. As in, before that we barely ever talked. A few months later, he admitted that he really likes me and how wants a relationship with me. It was THEN when I realized that I was over him. Now, the situation is that he loves me a lot and I do not reciprocate those feelings. I'm not addicted to him, like he is to me. He gets sad when I switch my phone off for an hour. He THINKS I still like him, but I do not. And I think telling him how I feel would hurt him a lot. But I don't like how he believes something that's not true. Please help. Thanks in advance.❞

Betty:

Stringing him along is going to end up hurting him a lot more than you making it clear to him asap that you don't feel for him the way he does for you. You should just tell him or he's going to feel worse.

Stix:

I think you just need to tell him that your feelings for him have changed, and that you just see him as a friend now.

If you're honest with him, and to the point, there's no way he can take what you said and twist it in his head. If you're forward with him, but not rude or harsh, then things will be ok in the long run.

They might be a bit sour after the first, because if he does still like you in that way, he will need time, but I think that long term you'll be great friends

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stix,

I started going out with this guy and he's really great but I just don't find him physically attractive. I don't know if I ever will.

Do I just wait and see if it comes or stop seeing him before he gets too many feelings for me?❞

Betty:

Though personality is most important, it's probably just going to cause problems in a relationship if you do not find your partner attractive. If you truly don't think you'll be able to and you think it's going to be a big issue for you then you just break it off now before his feelings for you get any stronger.

Stix:

I think that although looks aren't as important as personality, it is still important for you to find your partner attractive.

Although you do not find him attractive as yet, I know that you can see people differently after spending time with them, but if you don't think you will ever find him physically attractive then maybe it's best to just be friends.

It's a tough question, because I'd love to be able to say "It's what's on the inside that counts", which to a certain extent is true, but its important to find your partner physically attractive

[BettyBoop]

❝So I was wondering, how long should it normally take for a guy to cum during sex? I mean I havent had sex a lot, but both times I've cummed very fast, the girls didnt seem to care, but I just know I should last longer. With a girl I've cum in about 10 seconds every time, and by myself i dont take much more than a minute. is this normal? how can i improve it?❞

Betty:

I'm going to let Stix take this one because I just don't know, sorry.


Stix:

Everyone is different. Some people take longer than others. One thing is for sure, it's definitely not offensive to ejactulate early, if anything...you're showing how attracted you are to her!

That is my opinion, as for advice....I would say that you should try to find other ways to pleasure her too. If the sex doesn't last long, make up for it in "other areas".

[BettyBoop]

❝Hello,
I have cone to the realization that I am bi and pretty much gay. I am attracted to boys and not to girls at all. But there is this one girl, who I have a crush on, not for her looks but for her personality. I cannot directly tell if this is a feeling of love or just of extreme respect. I do get the nervous feelings that I have got around crushes in the past while around her. Only recently we started talking and she said I should sit next to her in class, I feel really nervous to.
My questions are: is it love if I have no sexual desire towards her apart from the want to nurture her?
And should I sit next to her and talk more?❞


Betty:

If you don't know how you feel about her just spend more time with her. You seem to like being around her so for now does it really matter how you like her? You might like her as a friend or something more and maybe that's just something that's going to take you some time to figure out. You could be nervous just because you want her to like you as a friend or because you want her to like you as more.
I suggest spending time with her if you like her in any way and seeing where it goes from there.

Good Luck


Stix:

Sexual desires sometimes take time to develop. I know that I have sometimes had upmost respect for a friend, and then when the relationship turns into something more, sexual desires start to occur.

You should talk to her more, get to know her more, and if it feels right, be a little bit flirty with her. If she flirts back, there's a chance that sexual desires may start to develop. Don't be too obvious, but what have you got to lose?

The fact that you want to nurture her shows that you care a lot about her. So care for her! If nothing happens sexually, you can still nurture her and be there for her.

Hope this helps your situation