How Do You Find Slaves?

[Slenderman - Doctor]

I've always wondered about how doms/dommes find their slaves on here.

Do you post an ad and only look through the replies, or do you actively seek out submissives' threads too?

[peaceful_soul]

Originally Posted by Doctor

I've always wondered about how doms/dommes find their slaves on here.

Do you post an ad and only look through the replies, or do you actively seek out submissives' threads too?

My point of view on this is that you post an ad or make it aware that you are searching, however you let the slave find you.

[XxxMistress]

All i did was write an ad .. & now they are finding me o.o

[Counterfeit_Fantasy]

I stomped my authority around in public and got attention. It was then I gained leadership to my pack and breeding rights.

I actually put a lot of thought into an advertisement, and through it, got plenty of replies. A friend of my just wanted to test what sticking girl, and willing to have sex had and received a similar number of replies, with half the English proficiency.

I have occasionally looked through some advertisements, but none of them peeked my interest. Mostly just horny persons with the desire to please when convenient.

[Endu]

Ironically, I don't think this is the place to do it. Sure, you get a lot of requests, you find a lot of people (most of them undesirable), but none of it lasts.

You can't find a master/slave based on likes/dislikes/etc. in an ad. An actual relationship needs to be developed, and I always say: It's easy to find people, it's hard finding the right people. You know?

I recently explained this to someone else on here. This forum has all the same pitfalls that a dating site has, only here it's potentially worse because it's a lot less controlled.

Even with an ad like Counterfeit_Fantasy's, all that largely did was attract a lot of chaff.

That isn't to say you can't find a successful match here, it's just that the odds are extremely slim.

For the most part, you need to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there - whatever that means for you. That'll mean different things for different people, but the bottom line is that an actual bond needs to be developed between people who know themselves and know what they want.

Of all of the ads I've seen here, I've noticed that almost all of them seem to fail terribly. It's not the fault of the person posting the ad, and it's not that there are lots of dumbinants out there, it's that people take a backwards approach to establishing this kind of relationship. As a result, people posting ads attract the wrong people to them, and people replying to the ads are looking for this in the wrong place.

Practically all of the truly successful, long-term D/s relationships I've seen started out as normal relationships. S&M groups are usually tightly knit as well.

I did befriend someone here (I miss you!), but even then, I couldn't give her what she needed. The circumstances, the approach, it's all going to be wrong for most people.

[Pariah]

Originally Posted by Endu

Ironically, I don't think this is the place to do it. Sure, you get a lot of requests, you find a lot of people (most of them undesirable), but none of it lasts.

You can't find a master/slave based on likes/dislikes/etc. in an ad. An actual relationship needs to be developed, and I always say: It's easy to find people, it's hard finding the right people. You know?

I recently explained this to someone else on here. This forum has all the same pitfalls that a dating site has, only here it's potentially worse because it's a lot less controlled.

Even with an ad like Counterfeit_Fantasy's, all that largely did was attract a lot of chaff.

That isn't to say you can't find a successful match here, it's just that the odds are extremely slim.

For the most part, you need to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there - whatever that means for you. That'll mean different things for different people, but the bottom line is that an actual bond needs to be developed between people who know themselves and know what they want.

Of all of the ads I've seen here, I've noticed that almost all of them seem to fail terribly. It's not the fault of the person posting the ad, and it's not that there are lots of dumbinants out there, it's that people take a backwards approach to establishing this kind of relationship. As a result, people posting ads attract the wrong people to them, and people replying to the ads are looking for this in the wrong place.

Practically all of the truly successful, long-term D/s relationships I've seen started out as normal relationships. S&M groups are usually tightly knit as well.

I did befriend someone here (I miss you!), but even then, I couldn't give her what she needed. The circumstances, the approach, it's all going to be wrong for most people.

I totally agree. I have spoken to a few subs now but there not that fit which would truely make it work. Perhaps the time difference to a largly US populace from the UK hinders matters further.

Being new to the site, or even if things change, I imagine people rushing into things that then fail instead of, like you said, becoming friends to start with.

In any case, maybe ads should be more for the long game? Look for a person you'd like to have that s/d relationshio with but become familiar with them first.