Starting a new 'relationship'...

NIKOLAS3220 · 10-05-2011, 08:54 AM

After some thought, I figured I should ask all you guys for some advice. I got this friend and lately I've been getting her a bit more involved into s/m and daring. She hasn't done much more other than some kissing and taking off one or two pieces of clothing.
Me and her were playing TorD with some other of our friends, and she wasn't really into doing much when she was around them. She only appears to be interested in doing anything when she's only with me. Now, through the events of the past few weeks, she really got interested in some more.... personal stuff involving the two of us, alone and some s/m activities.
We are planning to give it a shot during the following weekend at her place, as no one will be home and we won't be disturbed.
My problem is, that I have a feeling that as soon as one of us tries to get things going, it'll just get awkward for the both of us. I really think that there's something going between her and I, and if something goes wrong during the weekend, I could loose her.
So basically the advice I'm looking for is how to kick things off? I don't want her to think I'm pressuring her to do anything, yet I don't want her to feel like I should have asked her for something more 'challenging'. And what about the rest of the night? I certainly have no expectations to sleep with her, but if it happens, again I feel like things will only go downhill from there. What do you guys think I should do? We've talked things over, set some rules, but when it comes down to what happens when the two of us are alone, I just don't know how things should start rolling. Any help you guys have would be greatly appreciated.

Endu · 10-05-2011, 09:06 AM

It's simple: be natural. Do what comes naturally and you'll be fine. Don't try to force anything and just go with your feelings. She'll follow.

These are just pre-date jitters. You'll be fine.

The most important thing is to keep talking to her. Obviously I don't know her, but with a lot of the girls I've been with who were new or shy, they always liked it when I would ask them how they were doing and made sure that they were okay.

My approach has always been sensitive and cuddly. That may not work for you, but communication is the key here above anything else. Don't be afraid to ask things like, "Do you like that?" or "Are you okay?" or "Do you want more?" etc. Questions we think are stupid in the moment, but are necessary when we first be with someone to avoid hurting them.

Ciao.

10-05-2011, 08:54 AM	#1
NIKOLAS3220 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 118 Blog Entries: 5	Starting a new 'relationship'... After some thought, I figured I should ask all you guys for some advice. I got this friend and lately I've been getting her a bit more involved into s/m and daring. She hasn't done much more other than some kissing and taking off one or two pieces of clothing. Me and her were playing TorD with some other of our friends, and she wasn't really into doing much when she was around them. She only appears to be interested in doing anything when she's only with me. Now, through the events of the past few weeks, she really got interested in some more.... personal stuff involving the two of us, alone and some s/m activities. We are planning to give it a shot during the following weekend at her place, as no one will be home and we won't be disturbed. My problem is, that I have a feeling that as soon as one of us tries to get things going, it'll just get awkward for the both of us. I really think that there's something going between her and I, and if something goes wrong during the weekend, I could loose her. So basically the advice I'm looking for is how to kick things off? I don't want her to think I'm pressuring her to do anything, yet I don't want her to feel like I should have asked her for something more 'challenging'. And what about the rest of the night? I certainly have no expectations to sleep with her, but if it happens, again I feel like things will only go downhill from there. What do you guys think I should do? We've talked things over, set some rules, but when it comes down to what happens when the two of us are alone, I just don't know how things should start rolling. Any help you guys have would be greatly appreciated. __________________ "The best way to predict the feuture is to invent it."

10-05-2011, 09:06 AM	#2
Endu Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 49 Blog Entries: 3	It's simple: be natural. Do what comes naturally and you'll be fine. Don't try to force anything and just go with your feelings. She'll follow. These are just pre-date jitters. You'll be fine. The most important thing is to keep talking to her. Obviously I don't know her, but with a lot of the girls I've been with who were new or shy, they always liked it when I would ask them how they were doing and made sure that they were okay. My approach has always been sensitive and cuddly. That may not work for you, but communication is the key here above anything else. Don't be afraid to ask things like, "Do you like that?" or "Are you okay?" or "Do you want more?" etc. Questions we think are stupid in the moment, but are necessary when we first be with someone to avoid hurting them. Ciao.