''Coming out'' to your partner

mistress ct · 11-21-2010, 11:23 AM

I was curious to see what especially the older/married members of the forum have to say about this. Have any of you talked to your partners about what you do online?

I recently got into a relationship that I consider fairly serious/potentially serious and I was wondering how, how much and when I should tell her. In the past this wasn't a problem but I've never been so serious about someone, at least not in such a short space of time.

I live a 'vanilla' life and I would like to keep it that way, I wouldn't want her to be involved in this in any way or bring any of this to the bedroom. However I don't want to carry this burden and feel guilt. I don't consider what I do to be wrong but not telling her doesn't feel right.

So would anyone who has been in this situation care to share what they did

peaceful_soul · 11-22-2010, 01:03 AM

Before I say anything, let me first make sure I understand the situation you are facing. You have been involved in the Getdare community or in Master/Slave relationships for a while, and now outside of your online life you have found yourself a girlfriend and to which things are becoming serious than the past girlfriends you have encountered. Knowing this is happening, you are looking back on your online life though getdare, or a Master/Slave Relationship, and you have found yourself facing a dilemma. You probably enjoy your life online with situations that go on and very much so at that. On the other hand, you look at your offline life and you see a girl who is committed to you on a relationship standard that may involve love and affection towards one another, which you can see potential of something serious coming out of this relationship. Your girlfriend does not know a single thing about getdare or any online master/slave relationships at that, and you want to keep it that way, because you don’t know how she will react. You also don’t tell her, because you want to enjoy both situatutions online and offline.

TensionRoom101 · 11-22-2010, 04:47 AM

I've always been honest with all of my prospective partners about what I do right from the outset. Yeah, sure, it means some fabulous girls have run away screaming, but to me that's better than getting too close to someone and then losing or hurting them.

My lifestyle is slightly different- I live it for real rather than online so most of my recent partners have been from within the fetish community which makes it a lot easier- but in the past or on the occasions I've gone outside of the scene I was still up front about my life.

Mike

11-21-2010, 11:23 AM	#1
mistress ct Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 122	''Coming out'' to your partner I was curious to see what especially the older/married members of the forum have to say about this. Have any of you talked to your partners about what you do online? I recently got into a relationship that I consider fairly serious/potentially serious and I was wondering how, how much and when I should tell her. In the past this wasn't a problem but I've never been so serious about someone, at least not in such a short space of time. I live a 'vanilla' life and I would like to keep it that way, I wouldn't want her to be involved in this in any way or bring any of this to the bedroom. However I don't want to carry this burden and feel guilt. I don't consider what I do to be wrong but not telling her doesn't feel right. So would anyone who has been in this situation care to share what they did

11-22-2010, 01:03 AM	#2
peaceful_soul Account Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: California. Posts: 362 Blog Entries: 11	Before I say anything, let me first make sure I understand the situation you are facing. You have been involved in the Getdare community or in Master/Slave relationships for a while, and now outside of your online life you have found yourself a girlfriend and to which things are becoming serious than the past girlfriends you have encountered. Knowing this is happening, you are looking back on your online life though getdare, or a Master/Slave Relationship, and you have found yourself facing a dilemma. You probably enjoy your life online with situations that go on and very much so at that. On the other hand, you look at your offline life and you see a girl who is committed to you on a relationship standard that may involve love and affection towards one another, which you can see potential of something serious coming out of this relationship. Your girlfriend does not know a single thing about getdare or any online master/slave relationships at that, and you want to keep it that way, because you don’t know how she will react. You also don’t tell her, because you want to enjoy both situatutions online and offline. __________________ Got a question or looking for a friend? my inbox is alway open PM me Interesting individuals welcome. "Life to too short to be taken seriously." -Oscar Wilde

11-22-2010, 04:47 AM	#3
TensionRoom101 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 223	I've always been honest with all of my prospective partners about what I do right from the outset. Yeah, sure, it means some fabulous girls have run away screaming, but to me that's better than getting too close to someone and then losing or hurting them. My lifestyle is slightly different- I live it for real rather than online so most of my recent partners have been from within the fetish community which makes it a lot easier- but in the past or on the occasions I've gone outside of the scene I was still up front about my life. Mike __________________ When even the wisest of young people can't see the consequences of their actions, it's time I called it a day.