Experimenting

[LitDarkness]

iSpuds blog inspired me to post this for some reason.

Slaves and subs will be referenced as slaves while Masters and Doms will be referenced as Masters.

And friends working together with something, pick whatever of the two mostly applies to you. (Because there's no easy reference for you.)

So, you are wanting to try something new with someone whether it's giving your slave something new, or maybe you want to try something with your Master, or maybe just trying something new with a trusted friend.


Masters who have experience in something when your slave doesn't.

Congrats, your slave has enough courage to try this with you, whether you suggested it or they asked.

Remember you may have experience with this but, your slave does not: This means your slave has no idea if they like it.

Start slowly: Look, I get it, you want to go on with the big and bad stuff but, your slave isn't ready for that yet. Hopefully, they will be in the future.

But, if you start off with a big and heavy task regarding this, you may have just ruined your slave's experience with this and turned the slave off of it for a good while if not forever.

You can never start something full force on anyone. It just does not work.

Remember: It may be your slave's limit: Your slave can be curious and try it but, make sure you are alert and ready to give immediate intense aftercare.

They may need to stop at some point and there may be safewords involved. It is nobody's fault if they safeword. That is a risk of experimenting. Maybe it was too intense, maybe it reminds them of a past traumatic experience.

That's okay. You lived without it before and now you can say you tried it. So, it didn't go well. Now, you know.

Remember: the slave may dislike it: This happens, maybe they don't like it, maybe loath it. You could not do it or do it rarely (if you have that kind of relationship) or use it as a punishment.

Just because you like it doesn't mean your slave will and remember you may have experience with it but, your slave doesn't. Start slowly and be prepared in case the worst does happen.

Slaves who have experience in something your Master doesn't.

Be patient: Your Master may want to research the subject first and ask questions. Don't be too eager to start the task. I know it's exciting, hell I like to jump into things but, your Master has to make sure your safe during this and that they know what they're doing.

Your master may want to start slowly: This is because they care about you. Let them build up to it. You will get there.

It could end up being your Master's limit: Maybe, your Master tries this with you and realizes they aren't comfortable with it and they safeword/stop.

That's fine. Shit happens, it was tried and your Master found a limit, no big deal. Don't feel bad if it happens, this stuff does happen.

Masters who don't have experience when your slave does.

Feel free to ask questions: This is new, we all been there once. A slave isn't going to burn you at the stake for asking questions. You're a Master, not a perfect human being.

You are allowed to ask questions and research. You care about your slave and this shows this. Your slave will appreciate it.

Don't rush into it: Yes, your slave is excited. But, your slave also knows you don't have experience and doesn't want you to rush into it.

Also rushing into it could hurt your slave so don't rush into it. You're exploring and your slave appreciates the effort.

You are not disappointing your slave by taking your time and making sure you know what you are doing. You are showing the slave that they can trust you to do your best at all times. (You are not trying your best if you are rushing into full speed with something you do not know about.)

Tell your slave/safeword if it ends up being a limit: You are not a God or Godess, you are allowed to have a limit. Safeword if you need to and talk about it. So it's a limit of yours.

Your slave will not be mad at you. This happens. Everything is okay and your slave appreciates the fact that you tried.

Slaves who don't have experience when your Master does.

Feel free to ask questions: You have a right to know what is going on and to research. Your Master should be able to answer questions/ let you research.

You may ask one your Master doesn't know the answer too. You two can work together to find the answer.

If you are having doubts, tell: Is something bothering you about this? Tell your Master. They don't know if you don't tell.

They may hold off or relax you and with your approval, go on with it.

Your Master isn't going to be mad if you aren't sure or are having doubts.

Feel free to ask your Master to start slowly: Again, they aren't going to be mad. They may ask some questions about why you want to start slowly and see how slow you want to start and go on from there.

They know you are new to this. They don't expect you to be perfect and they might have prepared to start slow already.

If you need to safeword, do it: Hey, these kind of things happen. You never done this before, so, it's a limit, big deal. You have other limits and your Master is not going to be mad that this ended up being one too.

They will stop, figure out why it is a limit and give aftercare and go on. They aren't mad. You tried and it didn't work out. They are probably happy you safeworded so they didn't go too far.

When neither of you have experience:

Ask questions/research: You both are trying something new. Research it so you have some idea of what you are doing.

If you feel the need and want, feel free to get a trusted third party who has experience involved (optional): If it makes both of you comfortable, more power to you and you have some extra protection. it just means you are being extra cautious.

Start slowly: Neither of you know what you are doing and only have some idea of what to expect. (You only learn some things by experience.) Don't rush into it or you may ruin a activity that may have otherwise been fun for at least one if not both of you.

Feel free to stop/safeword: Hey, everyone has limits and you found one of yours. It's okay and it happens. Your partner isn't mad. They are happy you spoke up.