The troubles of slave searching discussion

[m55uk4younger]

Originally Posted by Hammarling

Very interesting reading some of the responses here. Overall the advice is pretty similar and comes down the line of "talk for people normall". I mean it's hard to argue that advice ultimately, as it's how you would approach someone in the real world (mostly). You don't just dive in and say to someone "Hey, wanna bang?", for the most part (i can think of times when that is the approach though).
I certainly won't argue against the suggestion of making friends first. But i have a slightly different aspect to put forth, and see what people think.

Now this might just be me. But i don't see GD in the same way i'd see a real world locale. Lets take a Bar. In a Bar i would try and strike up a general converstation with someone as my way in. Work that route and see how we go. Once more comfortable one of us will steer the conversation in a certain direction.

GetDare i don't see as a Bar. I see it more like a big nightclub (still with me?). In a nightclub you can't strike up that conversation. It's more of a direct place with a higher level of competition. A Bar is a moderate size, usually, but allows room to work and speak to people. Nightclubs are busy and packed with lots of different styles and goals. Some people are there looking for pure fun right there. Some for a quick hook up. Very few for a longer term thing.
Whereas the Bar tends to have more longer term types of people, or at least less people looking for instant gratification of desire (busting out the big words now).

I feel this analogy isn't exactly coming across. So i'll simplify. I have found in my experience that most people are not interested in that long term connection/build up. Most people want a quick fix or a direct approach.
To compound this i've tried the slow approach and far too often the other end ghosts/vanishes or is a fake. It massively demotivates the desire to take it slow and build that relationship. Often it feels like wading through a massive pile of people looking for something that doesn't exist. I know it does exist because i can see the people in relationships that started here, the problem is they are already in those relationships.

Ontop of this so much of the site is geared around that short term play. How do i strike up that conversation? There's the chat room, but more often than not it's filled with people already buddies and getting into that converstation is hard, or at least daunting. Then what, just PM people to try and start a converstion? "Hey want to talk about films?" Or am i just lacking in the social skill to know how to start that conversation.

I'm rambling now without making my point very well...
I'll try and tl;dr it-
I don't know how or where to start that slower conversation?
So much of GD is about the short time period stuff.
It's so competitive it often feels like you have to go direct to even stand a chance.
The best place to chat, the Chat, is often hard to penetrate or not visited by the people i'd need to chat with to start something.
So i appreciate the "Take your time, talk to people and be friends first." but GD, often to me, doesn't feel like the place i can do that.

Good analogy, the internet can be like walking in a minefield!

[KHdominant]

Glad someone got what i was aiming at, because on a re-read that post was a mess!